Championships and Powerlessness

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lottery or go for run same odds

I have now heard from two sources lately (One Norwegian and one Danish), that they think my posts are a bit long. Maybe they are right, or maybe it´s because I write in English. I don´t know. But I do try to vary the length of my posts, so they aren´t always long. The short ones are just maybe in a huge minority so far. 🙂

So today I will just talk about two of the poems from my book. Here is the first one, that I wrote during the Winter Olympics on Lillehammer in 1994:

Championships

Best, best, best!
Number two becomes depressed!
And they´ve all been madly training,
all losing, none gaining,
really!

The reason I wrote it, was that I watched the news on Norwegian tv, and the sports section anchor was all upset and sad and confused because Norway had not won the gold medal in skiing today! He was so sad and confused, looking for the explanations to how it could be Norway only came in second, that he FORGOT TO MENTION WHO WON THE RACE! We did NOT get to know who actually DID get the gold medal of the day!!!

How embarressing is that. It was one of those moments where I was extremely glad that Norwegian is a language not many foreigners understand. We were hosting this world wide event. We took 90% of the gold medals or something like that. (Not very polite from a host, hahaha…) And then this.
It made me feel.
And so I wrote.
The above piece.

(Ps, I played soccer from age 8-16, I did ballett and jazz and hip hop dancing, I play badminton and still love to dance until I´m exhausted. So I´m not an anti athletics chick. I just don´t like to go for a run. Just wanted to specify that, so the funny top poster doesn´t make you think I´m non movable or allergic to sweating or something. Media has this great big mission going on these days, judging anyone who doesn´t go to a gym at least 3 times a week. Well sod them. Bullies).

Moving swiftly on, keeping this short keeping this short… 🙂

One more poem from my book:

Feeling Powerless

Please don´t rock my boat.
I´m off to never-never-land
enjoying never-never-mind
the bloody bombs of battle.
Please let me keep dozing;
I´m happy being cattle!
Nothing I can do or say
will make things better anyway,
just wake me on a better day,
I´ll help by clapping hands…

Yes.
Passified population
allowing greed for oil to rule the nation
beieving what they tell us on tv:
“We are the lucky land of pure and free!”

(These four lines were created in the herenow, inspired by typing this post).

I end this blogpost with a very funny facebook poster I found in my stream yesterday.
Humour is the best tool when you want to say something sensitive and serious.
I hope it won´t get my blog hacked. Telling the truth puts people in jail these days.
Let´s hope one is still allowed to tell a joke.

oil on sarturns moon

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The Clairvoyance School on Fanoe

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Dortea

This little island where I live. What has it NOT got? It has beautiful nature, artists and volunteers that create heaps of interesting cultural events, and of course it also has its own clairvoyance school. 🙂

When I first came here in 2007, I had just lost my beloved cat, Pyjamas. He was supposed to come with us to Denmark but he walked happily, straight-tailed outside in the rain three days before departure, which he never usually did. So I called for him after half an hour, and continued to search for him every hour until we went to the airport! He was gone.
It was a great loss. He was born in my flat, he was almost 4 years old, and we were very close. It saddened me, and worried me that he may be out in the woods where we lived, not finding food or shelter.

I talked about the loss of my cat to people I met on Fanoe. And three times, the person would say to me: “Have you talked to Dortea? The medium. She lives here. She connects with animals as well, you know.”

After the third time, I decided, fine. Dortea it is. And booked myself an appointment.
When the time arrived, I went to her tiny old house and sat in the hallway waiting for my turn. Soon a person came down the stairs, and passed me and left. Five minutes later, a woman came out from a door upstairs, greeted me with a big smile and asked me to come on up.

We sat down, and she asked me what my errand was. I told her I wanted to know if my cat was on the other side. She closed her eyes, we sat in silence for a couple of minutes, and then she said:
“But you have two cats!”
“Well…yes I guess I do…two brothers…the other one disappeared 5-6 months earlier…”
“Yes, because I get this other cat, telling me they were two. He´s a bit funny this one, there´s something strange about his tail…”
“Yes, he was a bit brain damaged or something. His tail was difficult to bend, for example if it was straight up and he walked under a table…” We laughed.
“This one is one the other side. Does your other cat have a big head?”
“Eh……?”
“The cat shows me a big head… but his ears were not so big, he says…”
“Hahahaha…. well…from Dizzy´s view, he would say that. Because his own head was small, and his ears very big! So yes, compared with him, one could say my other cat could be described that way. Much bigger head. And little ears. hahaha, yes…”
“He says that his brother is not on the other side. I get a feeling that he is fine, enhoying the woods. What´s the name of the cat your are searching for? Pyyyyhhhh…. Pyyyyyyssshhh…. I can´t get it….”
“Pyjamas.”

Yes. That was my first meeting with Dortea. I have since used her also for an alternative view on how to heal my pollen allergy. (She is a Steiner heilpraktiker too, wholistic Rudolf Steiner practitioner).

At the end of our sitting, I told her a little about myself, and said that I for many years had wanted to do an education in alternative medicine. “Well, you have come to the right place,” she said. “I hold courses, and I´m starting up a new class in January!” I felt a jolt inside. I took the leaflet she gave me, and told her I thought maybe I would be on that course, actually.

And yes I was. I have done five weekend courses with Dortea in all. (And three weekend courses with her teacher Val Williams from the U.K. as well, Dortea invites her over and shares her with her students once a year. But I´ll tell you about the courses with Val some other time).

The five courses… “Psychic abilities? 1-2-3” was the name of the first three. Then the fourth was called “Strengthening the contact” and the fifth course was called “Inspired creativity”.

The school at that time was built up of modules, and after eight modules one would have an exam where members of the Medium´s Union would be present, and after you showed them platform work and a private sitting, if you passed, you would be formally accepted as a qualified member of the union. Which is an important stamp of qualification in the field of Danish mediumship.

But I didn´t do 8 modules. Or I did actually. But the last 3 were with Val. Her teacher. So. No exam.
Why?
Because I felt that platform work was not my thing. To stand on a stage…deliver messages to people in the audience, from their belated relatives… A lot of pressure.
I was a lot more comfortable with the one to one sittings. Tuning into a person´s aura, and getting messages from the other side, nice and easy, sitting down, just the two of us.
But I felt that I was to stop. After those 8 times. Time for a change, or to digest the learnings for a while… yes, I just felt I was to stop. So I did.

But that does not mean the courses were not worth while to me. They were. Immensely. I learnt a lot about meditation, and Spirit, clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, clairknowing… intuition, aura… Ethics, how to communicate messages with care, always uplifting, rephrase if it came across from Spirit negative sounding, never give a devastating message…
And to be in a group was a lecture in its own right for me, I´m not normally a “group person”, but this was a group of people as quirky and weird as myself, what a relief it was to all of us to be together and feel normal for a change!
The most important thing I learnt, was to express freely. To say out loud what I felt to say, without filtering first.
“I see this old woman, she is like a cartoon character. She is sitting in a rocking chair. Now she gets up. She points with her walking stick on something up on a shelf, high high up on the wall. She says that just because it´s on the highest shelf, doesn´t mean that it´s something good!” ….eeeeehhh….does this make sense to you?!”
I asked my fellow student, we were practicing giving sittings. He nodded eagerly, big smile on his face. “That´s my aunt Wilma. Yes, it makes perfect sense!! Thank you!!”
🙂
We worked with personal belongings as well, holding it in our hand, writing down what came through. Then we read it out loud, and the person who owned the item verified and falsified the things we said about the item. (Like a ring or stone or…) Very exciting. And amazing how much of what came through was correct!
We did a special method of painting, and lots of different meditations and exercises. It was an oasis.
I learnt so much about both mediumship, and about myself. The group gave a wonderful mirror, and Dortea was a teacher full or humour, and very direct and honest, qualities I cherish.

When I started my education in vocal sound therapy, January 2014, I could really feel that the clairvoyance school had prepared me for it. If I had not had that schooling first, I am not sure I would have been able to cope with the sound course, in that big group, doing all those very challenging excercises and singing out in front of everybody…
Vocal sound therapy is about working with Spirit too. Letting light through, listening for resonnance, some practitioners use degrees of trance mediumship in their therapy… So I am being educated. And the clairvoyance school on Fanoe was a part of it. Or IS a part of it. Lately I have been feeling that I should join a course with Val and Dortea again. Last year there was no money. If there is money for it, I think I will join the course in August. I have developed a lot the last year, through my vocal sound therapy. It would be nice to approach Spirit through them two again, and really get an impression of where I stand now.

I have always been open minded. When I became a teenager, I started reading all the local library books about reincarnation, near death experiences, parapsychological phenomena… I have always felt a strong connection with Spirit. It is very…liberating…for me to go into these things and learn from others who have the same interests and abilities. I don´t regret my years of university studies at all, though. They were right for me too.
All knowledge aquired, is valuable. Shaping who I am, increasing my width and depth of understanding. Carl Gustav Jung talked about “the individuation proces”, the individual´s development of character, the creation of an integrated, whole human being. I love C.G.Jung. Very very wise man. Who also introduced the concept of synchronicity. The father of psycho analysis. Wrote about archetypes. Spoke about the meaning of death. He should be on the curriculum of every high school kid.

But okay. Curriculum. Another blogpost maybe. 🙂

Here is a video from Dortea´s Youtube channel. It´s in Danish, but I just want to give you an impression of her energy. She talks about her new education, called “Spiritual Consultant” or advisor…
I definitely recommend her. Both as a teacher in clairvoyance, and as a medium delivering messages.

Her slogan underneath her webpage photo on the top of this blogpost, says “Be authentic. Be you.”
To find out more or to contact her, go to www.Dortea.Dk

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Listening Room w.Brett Perkins

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This is me! The one and only time I have been singing in front of a live audience!
The man next to me is Troels Alsted, a musician living in Copenhagen.
He introduces our act, saying “This song is only a couple of hours old, so it´s brand new fresh!”

How it came to be?
Well, there is this wonderful American man, Brett Perkins. And he does something he calls Listening Room Retreats, all around the world. And we were lucky to get him to come hold a workshop with us here on Fanø, a weekend in January 2012.

We all arrived for the retreat on the Friday afternoon, Brett and his fellow musicians; Troels Alsted and Klaus Caprani. (You can find these people and the Listening Room on Facebook). And then we were 8 ordinary workshop participants.
After introducing ourselves, sitting in a circle listening to eachother, Brett lay down some basic rules about sharing rights etc (50-50) if a song would become commercially successful.
When everything was clear, we were divided into groups of two. Then we were to make a song the next couple of hours!
And so we just did!
I was together with Klaus, and we wrote a lyric that was pretty good I reckon. Then we made a melody for it. Mainly him, since he had the most experience, but I was heard too, and I learnt about the different pieces any song consists of, like verse, chorus, bridge, ” A and B pieces” (directly translated from Danish)… That evening we had actually made a song, Klaus and I. Truely amazing.

We finished the evening with having a couple of beers together, sitting on sofas in the front room, those who wanted to, played one of their songs for the rest of us. We also walked outside at one point, and had a gaze at the moon and stars in the quiet village garden of the house we were settled in.

Next morning we changed groups, and I was now to work with Troels. I had brought my book, and we decided to sift through it and search for poems we could use for lyrics. We found two poems, one that could be the verses, and an other that was perfect for the chorus. We found a melody and voila. It was born.

A couple of hours later, we held a workshop concert!! People came to “The House of Music”, as the house is called, where we held the workshop. Chairs were lined up in the front room, and microphones, and soon the room was full of people.
And that´s how it happened that I was “on stage” performing the song that Troels and I made together. Klaus and I performed our song as well, but it wasn´t filmed for some reason.

Here are the lyrics for my songs.
First, the one from my book, used in the song I made with Troels:

Let it Through

It´s down to you, down to me, down to All that may be,
Up and up and away, celebrating today

I have learnt to seek peace, I have learnt what I give out increase
I have learnt that the moment… is something to seize

I have learnt that I need to express, I have learnt that some dress to impress
I have learnt that it´s just not… healthy to stress

(It´s down to you…)Chorus

I have learnt that it´s good to let go, I´ve learnt that it´s wisest to follow the flow
I have learnt what I want is… to learn and to grow

(It´s down to you…)Chorus

I have learnt that the All´s here and now, I´ve learnt to choose with care… the who and the how
I have learnt that it is up… to me to allow

(It´s down to you, down to me, down to All that may be,
up and up and away, celebrating today…)

Here are the lyrics for the other song.
Shame I don´t have the melody here, but. Take it as a poem, here it comes:

Defeating the Snake (Improvized title, we didn´t make one back then)

1 (A)
White out of nothing – like stars in the night
Brighter and brighter – beautiful sight
Back to the blackness – low in the ground
Reach for the heavens – path is unfound

2 (B)
Love as in no competition
Still it´s remaining a vision

Chorus:
Facing nameless fear and blind confusion
Aiding nature´s parallell solution

3.(A)
Pawns of the war lords – lose every game
Collateral damage – always the same
Fates are decided – behind the closed doors
Hidden agendas – on cold marble floors

4.(B)
Making important decisions
Fooled by our vain superstitions

Chorus:
Facing nameless fear and blind confusion
Aiding nature´s parallell solution

5.(C bridge)
A soul searching snake – all green in the tree
The white lines down its spine – speaks volumes to me
I said do not try! I´m no sinner, you see!
I treasure my nature! Let me remain free!

Chorus:
Facing nameless fear and blind confusion
Aiding nature´s parallell solution

Even though we lost it on the run
Love´s the only thing that lingers on
– Lingers on –

Yup. That was an incredibly fun workshop. Learnt a lot.
Brett Perkins also makes his own songs. You can find some of them on Youtube.
And he is the man behind a Songwriters Festival as well. In Copenhagen.
Here is an interview with him about that.
If you ever get the chance, go to one of his retreats!!

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Easter Holiday

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påske1

It´s the first day in this year´s easter holiday, and birds are singing from a bright blue sky. We are at home, in our yellow house with the straw thatched roof, a post office from 1789, on the isle of Fanoe.

In Norway where I originally come from, the ideal easter holiday is set in the mountains, with lots of snow and sunshine, hot cocoa enjoyed in a ski slope, sitting on a self made snow bench…

That was my childhood. Cross country skiing with my parents and siblings, the first time I was only 3 years old. We would borrow a caravan or rent a small cabin. Some years, together with friends of my parents.

I hope I can make an easter holiday like that with my husband and kids some year soon. This year we simply don´t have the money for it. Last year I wanted to, but then we went with Not Big Bot Band instead, for two weeks in Spain. Which was lovely. (You can read more in the post Not Big Bot Band).

The years when I was a child-free (!) student in Bergen, ´92- 2004, I also enjoyed the easter holidays. Just in a different way. Most of the local people left town, to the mountain or abroad or to visit family or friends in other parts of the country. That meant there came a peace to town. The absence of crowdedness. Presence of quiet. The shops close as well, in Norway, all easter. So everybody buys lots of food and then no shops are open for 3-4 days. Peace and quiet.

What I used to do, is that just before easter I’d go to the library and borrow a big stack of books, cds, cartoons and dvds. Then I would go shopping; get wine and beer, lots of food and snacks and sweets. And a couple of grams of good Nepalese templeball, if it was around.
Then I would simply go home, close the door behind me and stay home alone all easter. Write poetry, watch movies, read, sleep, smoke, listen to cds and munch away at my chocolates and trays of marinated chicken… no internet connection in my home back then. Facebook had yet to be invented (at least I had never heard of it). It was like going into hibernation. Charging batteries. If the sun shone too insistingly, I would pack a rucksack and walk up into the mountain, I was living at the bottom of one of Bergen´s seven mountains that surround the city centre…

Yes. Those were the days too. So many nice ways of celebrating easter.
I´m not into the church´s story about it. The murdering of the kind man Jesus. A story of evil.
Yet at the same time a story of hope, or resurrection, eternal life, love… (hanging on the cross between the two thieves, encouraging them… and the love the women show Jesus in staying with him through his death process…) Okay, yes it is a good story, and an important one.

But I know it by heart. I have heard it told every easter throughout my school years.
I don´t dwell on it at easter, unless it crosses my path in a natural way, as a play or a concert, or a talk on tv or an article on Facebook about forgiveness or some fresh angle on the christian easter message.

In Scandinavia, there is a concept called “easter crime”, signifying a tradition of reading or watching criminal fiction stories through the easterdays, I guess originally thought to be a way the media could parallell the church´s five day long story. So the tv channels show a detective story in five episodes, from Thursday to Monday 2.day of easter…
Well, I´m just not into violence. It either horrifies or bores me or makes me sad or worried.
So I don´t follow that tradition.

Actually, as a mother I don´t have clear easter traditions (yet). Well no, that´s not true. Every easter the easter bunny calls us on the phone, and the children go hunting for eggs in the garden, reading a map that the easter bunny puts in our mailbox! 🙂
And then there is these cardboard eggs that are filled with sweets, that they get on the Saturday, Sunday, Monday. (Normally they only eat sweets Friday night, once a week, so it is a big deal for them, I remember it well from my childhood too, easter was about that big egg full of candy).

But apart from the bunny…and easter-eggs… no snowy holiday memories yet for my children. It stings a bit in my Norwegian heart when I say that, because we are so proud of our learning to ski at a very early age. But the explanation is that I gave birth around easter time, in 2010 and in 2012. And in 2011 and 2013 we had a tiny one to care for. Then last year there was the trip to Spain. And this year, no dow.

(These are not meant to be excuses, merely explaining factors. I don´t see myself as a victim of circumstances, and I´m aware everything is a question of priority. We could go for a snowy easter holiday if we felt it was more important than other things we want to spend our money on. And healthy babies can be taken anywhere as long as they are kept warm and well fed).

I hope that next easter we can be in snow somewhere. Money please do rain down on me and soak my life, thank you. (And next Summer we spend at home, so that budget can possibly be moved to easter).

This year… well. It starts out good with this clear blue sky.
Tuesday ´till Thursday my bonus son comes to visit from Copenhagen, with our little grandson. So the home will be full of good food and happy children and adults.
Friday there is that monthly jam session at my local bar on the corner. I will go there and sing and drum as I usually do that monthly night when it´s allowed.
The rest of the 10 days lie open. And that is actually a treat in itself. Maybe we will go to the swimming hall on the mainland. Nice big place with saunas and stuff.
Or maybe we will take the car and go visit someone a couple of hours´drive away.
Maybe we can arrange a visit from the lovely Burmese family (described in the post You speak English?) … I am hoping I can update this blog frequently, while the little ones enjoy quality time with daddy who is off from work for a change!
Knowing us, we will probably go out into the woods, maybe bring stuff to make a bonfire and cook some popcorn or bread or sausages or something else easy… (Fanoe has these great bonfire huts placed in the woods, where it is safe to make a fire)…

Knowing Fanoe, there´s probably some things going on to entertain the tourists, easter is the start of the tourist season here… so we can maybe join some event like that… (there is for example a tradition of a woman dressed as an easter bunny, who leads the participants around in nature, hunting for easter eggs in the dunes by the beach and stuff… Maybe this is the year where we finally take part in that fun sounding event…)

Yeah. This easter we just have time off. And that is a gift in itself.
(Like I also talked about in the post “Family quality time” the other day).

Right now i will finish this blogpost and then go downstairs and see if brunchtime is here soon.
After that, I know my five-year-old daughter wants to bake that cake we didn´t get time to make after dinner yesterday.
And I reckon I have to check out the temperature in the garden. We have the nicest closed garden, all private, walled with tall green hedges on all sides, once the greenery returns to life.
The baby leaves on the trees are still close to microscopic. But all of a sudden it will all just sprout, these secret sudden signals that nature gives to itself, that NOW is the time where we BURST OUT and GROW and LIVE again… Aaaaaaah springtime……. “hope is light green”, we say in Scandinavia. That´s probably because of those baby leaves, them bright green little dots, that may be covered in snow, but seeing them does mean that the sun is on its way back to us, after another loooong, daaaaark winter…
So seeing the colour light green gives us hope…

I will enjoy this easter holiday immensely. I can feel it in me booooones….. 🙂
Snow and skis or no snow and skis. As long as there is chocolate and some days of lazy leisure!
Oh and here comes my eldest daughter, age 10, and asks if we can put up the easter decorations now.
I completely forgot all about those. Hahahaha…. it´s good they can help me create easter. Their self made feathery chickens and such, that they bring home from kindergarten and school and I keep them in a cardboard box for next year… Yes. Nice tradition.

Happy eastering, dear reader.
I hope you will enjoy it, no matter what content you give your easter days.
Christian or not, living in a christian country or not.
Just enjoy these days from today 28/3 and until 6/4.

Meaning is created by our selves, in the meeting between external impressions and internal expressions.
Hah! That was a pretty neat line.

Between what happens to you and how you choose to sense it and interpret it, is how you make meaning.
In that space there. You create the content. Put meaning into the empty space.
We are indeed creators.

May this spring bring hope to all of us.
Bring love and compassion, peace and quiet satisfaction.
Such is my wish.

I finish this post with three images of my two youngest mini-mes, taken in the Fanoe forest a month or two ago. So we DID play in the snow the winter of 2014/15. Not a lot. But yes we did. 🙂

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Fanoe Wadden Sea Centre

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Fanø Vadehav Center

http://www.fanoe-vadehav-center.dk/

Yesterday I went to an opening. Of Fanoe Vadehav Center. Which means Fanoe Wadden Sea Center. Which lies on this little island Fanoe where I live. In the middle of The Wadden Sea National Park.

The new centre is actually an old nautical school. Which was closed in 2004.
And an Efterskole took over. (A kind of boarding school where teenagers stay for one year, see more info in the post “Danish “hygge” “). That school was closed in 2013.
And now it has been taken over by two partners who have hired a staff of seven people.
They have renovated one section of the school’s bedrooms already, and will use them as hotel rooms. Then there is the big kitchen, and the cafeteria space, where they will have a restaurant. They want to connect with businesses around Denmark, maybe abroad, and offer teambuilding programmes, conferences, workshops etc.

(You can read more on their website which I have linked to. It seems to only be available in Danish, but maybe they will include an English translation later, it says their homepage is work in progress, it will be developed in the time to come).

I went to the opening yesterday at four pm, and so did about 200 other locals! They were quite overwhelmed, the centre leaders said, that the centre has such a great interest in Fanoe´s population.
The two partners, a man and a woman, held an opening speech together, thanking the politicians and bank on Fanoe for the very constructive communication process that has led to the creation of the centre. Then Fanoe´s mayor held a speech and declared The Fanoe Wadden Sea Centre open.

We were allowed to walk around and look at the renovated section of bedrooms. They were painted all white, and had a maritime look, made to resemble cabins on a ship. Very cute and bright double rooms, with a view out to wide green fields, and there was a dark blue stripe across the white pillows, with white “navigation numbers” written across the blue…
(Pardon my ignorance, latitudes and lengthitudes, isn´t that what it´s called in proper sailor´s language? …Both my grand dads were chefs at sea, so I guess I should know this lingo a bit better, but. There you go, I don´t).
Very nicely designed, anyways, the renovated double rooms, and they definately had that cabin feel to them. Good attention to detail.

We also saw a classroom turned into a conference room, and workshop rooms, rooms for holding seminar meetings, and rooms that will be made available to rent for Fanoe´s many small businesses…. they explained to us that they do the renovation step by step, so it was only the first section of bedrooms that was finished yet.

It made me feel extremely happy to walk around in the school, peeping into all the different spaces.
There were signposts saying what each room was intended to be renovated into… the signposts were formulated with wit and creativity.
The employees of The Wadden Sea Centre in general, seem to be pleasant, informal, open minded people. The two caretakers are artists, and their funny, very colourful paintings are brightening up the school´s red brick walls at the moment…
I can imagine there may be opportunity for local artists to exhibit their work there at a later date, and it seems they are welcoming good ideas on a very broad scale, both for project development, co operation on workshops… what not what not. The sky is the limit.

It is so exciting! I love when old buildings are turned into “culture houses”. In Bergen, Norway where I lived for 15 years, we have USF; United Sardine Factories, an enormous building on the docks, which has been turned into a culture house with art studios, cinema, concert halls, café… film companies have their offices there, theatre groups, festivals have their offices there… and the art made in the studios is exhibited around the public areas of the house, in hallways and in show rooms… it´s such a lovely place. For four years I worked as a volunteer for Nattjazz, a brilliant, annual 11 days long jazz festival held at USF. I also worked for a year and a half in Piraya Film, which has its office at USF.
It´s a spring ritual for the citizens of Bergen to walk out to the old factory, get a café table in the sunshine on the dock, overlooking the fjord, and order a pint of local Hansa lager. And maybe a portion of those garlic marinated prawns. Oh no, I´m getting homesick now! 🙂

I am very excited about the new Wadden Sea Centre. I hope to get my fellow students of vocal sound therapy on board my idea of us booking ourselves into the cabins for a weekend next Summer. We are finished educated sound therapists by then, and we could probably really do with getting together and discussing our first six months of professional experiences.
Which place could be better for a meeting like that, than on Fanoe, where we can walk around and enjoy the forest, the beaches, a bike ride, the old quaint architecture, the high quality shops that sell designer knitwork and lots of other things, the beautiful glass blower workshop… our mainstreet has it all, the best butcher in Denmark, an excellent bakery, gourmet shops, restaurants and cafés, icecream to die for…
And every Wednesday night in July the main street turns into one bit town party, with live music everywhere and people make flee markets in their gardens, children can get a ride on a pony for free, there is wine tasting and pan cake tasting and… yes. It´s easy to understand why Fanoe is a favourite holiday destination for so many Danes and Germans. (Lots of people from other countries too, but these two nationalities are in majority).

I hope to get to know the people who run the centre, and with luck there will be projects we can co operate on.
Maybe I can be on a list of theirs as a vocal sound therapist, offered as a part of things to do while on Fanoe… or maybe I can be hired in as a video documentation maker… Maybe Kulturelt Samråd, a board I´m a member of, can co operate with the centre in some of our projects…
So far everything is possible. The centre will find its feet and form, and no matter if I will benefit from it work wise or not, I will certainly benefit from their existence just because the centre is promoting Fanoe. What is good for the development of our island, is good for each one of us who live here.

Yes!
Time will tell what will be. I can´t wait to see.

🙂

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Confidence & the lack of it

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Yesterday I felt stressed. I thought, what AM I going to write about on my blog next? And will I be able to keep up this pace, and keep writing things, and interesting things?

I have a few ideas about what I want to write about.
I want to show you my children´s kindergarten. Words and visuals. And I want to talk about my year in Bahrain, maybe some more about my years in Wales, my half a year in Lysoysund in Norway… There will be more posts about Servas, and about the process of building a blog. And I want to talk about my three experiences with natural birth giving.
But all these could be written in a week. And after that?

In my post “In trust I trust”, I wrote about having trust in fellow humans´ innocence and good intentions. And trusting in my intuition. I guess confidence has a lot to do with trusting in one´s own abilities.

What governs the level of confidence?
To an extent, our upbringing. Whether our parents gave enough praise, and apologized when they hurt our feelings so we didn´t grow a habit of thinking there´s something wrong with us.
“Am I good enough?” Is a question that many of us have with us from childhood, and work at moving beyond, throughout adulthood.
There are three more such “base feelings”, says Githa, my teacher in vocal sound therapy. (See the category “vocal sound therapy” for more info).

The four base feelings are:
I am not good enough
I am different
I don´t want to be here
I´m not welcome here

Some of these will resonnate more than the others, in each of us. But almost everyone has inner work to do with one or more of these questions. When we do the work, old traumas can loosen from our nervous systems and vanish. It is a great relief when it happens. It´s one of the things we work towards with our therapy method.

Confidence. Today I feel confident. Though yesterday I was doubtful. Why like this?!

Is it the moon?
Or biorhythms?
(Biorhythms was a very popular concept in the 80s, I haven´t heard them mentioned for a decade or two, don´t know if the concept is still in use…)

I feel certain it has something to do with me going to bed early last night, and gaining a good night´s sleep. Alfa.
The Omega, then would be food, physical nutrition. Which we generally take good care of in my home.

And then there is the issue of trust. In my abilities.
Plus trust in getting help from Life. The UniVerse. Higher forces. God, if that´s your preferred name for it. The Light. Trusting in Inspiration.

I am not a religios person, but I am a spiritual one.
I see myself as a spiritual being, having a human experience.
(Which is a line in my exit song, in my videopoetry installation blogpost “Linking”).

I trust that Life will help me find issues to write about.
I do. Like this morning, walking home from the kindergarten, I thought to myself that I feel better today than yesterday, it´s like I´m more confident… and BOOFF. “Confidence”, I thought. “Good blog title”.

Some days I´m confident to a strong degree. Other days I´m not. Maybe it´s the same for everyone? I don´t know.
All the blog comments gave me heaps of confidence that I can make money on this activity. That there is a real audience out there, who appreciate the content of this blog.
Then I installed a spam filter. BAM. No more comments!!

But my blog HAS been shared on Bloglovin and on Delicious.
It has doubled and tripled every month as I´ve typed along. And March has been the wildest month so far. 13.000 visitors now. About 10.000 of them have been in March!!

I have advertized, and managed to find a person who will come and help me with plugin issues, and help me install an advert or two plus a donation button.
After that, I can get an idea about whether it´s realistic I can be a moneymaking blogger or not. It would be such a tremendously perfect thing for me if I could/can.
Time will tell.
I am grateful I have now found a person who knows my technical systems and can straighten things out so everything works, and I get a better understanding of the frameworks of blogging.
It is an important investment. I don´t really have the money to invest, but. I´m trusting it will be a survivable expense, and give payback.

Confidence.
It´s about our convictions as well, isn´t it. What we believe to be true. Consciously or subconsciously. Our theories about how the world works. Our perceptions of reality.
One of my convictions, for example, which I am trying to stop believing in, is:

“I can´t do that, because I don´t have the official qualification for it. I´m not educated.”

or these ones:

“One shouldn´t help oneself to things, it is rude and greedy.”

“To be quiet and modest is the best behaviour.”

“There are so many other great writers, and books, blogs, films and music albums out there, there is no need for me to publish things as well. What can I possibly add that isn´t already covered by someone else.”

It´s a good thing I can spot these convictions. And that I don´t believe fully in them. They get me down from time to time, but they haven´t stopped me. I have published a book, and a film where I also sing in public, I´ve made videowork for an app and edited tv programmes, and now I´m crafting this blog. (And yes, I do have plans for making an album slowly but surely, with the 5 songs from my videopoem installation plus 5-7 more songs, most of which I have yet to create).

I work at my inner dialogue, talking against my convictions, and changing them, so my convictions become a support for my vision of a financially fulfilling future.

I also spend energy on healing old wounds, rewriting my history, my understanding of events in my past, to focus on the positive consequences instead of the wounds they gave me.
For example, things have happened to me, that have given me a greater understanding about some kinds of pain, so I have more empathy for others in similar situations.
And I have gained humbleness, I have learnt there are limits, that I have to look after the needs of my body, and the needs of my self image. To draw the line for how far I allow people to treat me badly, for example…
Deal breakers, as Dr.Phil calls them. The points that mean a relationship is over. The point where I stop trying and walk away.
For example violence. Not just physical, but also emotional violence. I have taken too much of that in my past relationships. I won´t again. Ever.

I work on my convictions, and on healing myself, freeing myself from old hurt feelings.
And I try to create myself a source of income through actions. Through practicing sound therapy towards my exam, and through continuing this blogging.

Confidence.
Is there a song that can illustrate it for us, increase the strength of the words, add a feeling?

Mika. I love many of his songs.
These tracks give me a beat I associate with the energy of confidence. Upbeat, positive. Happy, steady pace.
And the lyrics of Relax cling true to me.

One more musicvideo. With Conchita Wurst.
Who won the European Song Contest, wasn´t it last year?
From Austria. I have seldom been so moved.
She really touched the hearts of so many of us. And she received the love she deserved, she won!
It made me feel very… grateful.
She had the confidence to stand up, and her confidence was rewarded. Her talent and beauty was recognized.

(Ps check out more of those song contest videos from 2014 and watch her receive top score after top score. Goosebumpy stuff)!

Rise like a phoenix, everybody!
Let´s all be confident! 🙂

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You speak English?

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Yesterday my two youngest were invited to visit two siblings that are friends of theirs from kindergarten. A twoyearold girl and her fiveyearold brother. And I came with them. SInce it was the first time, and my son isn´t used to visiting alone a lot yet.

It´s always nice to see someone´s home, it shows one of their skins. (As Hundertwasser calls it, see my post called Clothes for more info).
I also invited them back to ours in the weekend. They are lovely people whome I really would like to get to know. They come from Burma. I think the parents are in their twenties, maybe early thirties. They have been here quite a while, but they don´t speak much Danish, although they both go to school to learn the language. It´s just not that easy. First, Danish is actually a very hard language to learn. Second, there are many people in the class, she told me, and from many different countries. So it´s difficult for the teacher to reach each one on their level.
Third, they sail from the island 07.30 in the morning, sit at school for 5 hours, then sail home, pick up kids and groceries, cook, eat and sleep. They don´t get a lot of Danish language practice in a tight schedule like that, do they?

I have met them many times before, on the ferry and in the kindergarten, so I knew there was a language barrier. But I find that fascinating, not annoying or scary. How can we understand eachother when we lack words? It can easily become quite funny, in my experience.

It took me an hour or so to realize how much they did and did not understand. Then, at one point, I stopped thinking about words and started using my feelings instead.
What do I mean?

Well…when I lived in bigger towns in Norway, I used to know a lot of asylum seekers, refugees and foreign students. And I used to be good at a type of simplified English, that I guess maybe I learnt from the foreigners, or rather, we developed between us in the gap of missing words…
I used the simplified English when I lived in Bahrain as well. My then English boyfriend would tell the taxidriver where we wanted to go, and the driver would say “What? Where you want?” and then I wouild take over.

The clue is simply: Simplify!
What is the essence of what you want to be understood?
Cut down to nouns and verbs. Then add gesticulations.

For example “Elite residences numder 2. Al Jazeera avenue.” Then I also had learnt the Arabic words for left and right. And if I wanted to continue straight ahead for a while, I said “straight, straight”, whilst pointing forwards with my entire arm 3-4 times, so he knew it was quite a distance… So much can be said through tone of voice and body language.
If the driver dodn´t know the address, I named Pearl Roundabout, or an other landmark on the way to our appartment. (In the beginning, before we knew the way home, it took some time for the driver to discuss with other drivers where this Elite Recidences was. Interesting to sit back and wait, watch them discuss in Arabic. Never be in a rush! Hahaha…)

An example from yesterday (only in Danish words) is
“What time (pointing to watch)… kindergarten… (That´s a word they would know from everyday use)…you pick up kids? (pointing at her kids, then showing with my arm a gesture that could mean to bring back home)…

Not that I think this is hocus pocus or difficult artform in any way. The reason I choose to write about it, is because I so often see people that are afraid of speaking English when they meet a foreigner, because they feel they don´t master the language. This is because we have been given grades in school, and told we are not very good in English.

But communicating isn´t about grades or mastering perfect grammar. It is about making oneself understood. And understanding the other, being willing to listen and to guess, and to admit over and over, in the end with a smile, that “I`m sorry, I just don´t get what you mean!” Or maybe rather; “Me no understand, no…” with a troubled headshaking.

Success, in communication, is yours as soon as you dare to try! It is a lot of fun to improvize languages you don´t master. No one should go a lifetime without experience the joy of that. The laughing together about the hopelessness, and the enthusiasm, and the great relief when understanding is finally achieved, through great common effort…

I wrote a song about it once, and made a music video for it.
Here it is:

Mother Toungue

Lyrics:
If you can communicate
in a different tongue than your mother´s:
Be proud! Feel proud!
No matter what mistakes you make.
(Repeated)

´Coz it´s about communicating, getting together and celebrating this mystery called life, and none of us do remember why; Why are we here, and should we care about the reason for the changes of season…?

(Yes I wrote the text, did the filming and editing, and it is me singing. The visuals are from Hastings, UK, from a beautiful museum there, and from the home of my dear Servas friends Alan and Fiona Wright, he is a very talented stained glass artist).

It is fun to communicate. There is nothing to be embarressed about. That´s why, when our Servas guest from Taiwain a couple of weeks ago, went to my daughter´s class and held a lecture about Taiwan and travelling for them… One of the best things about it, was that her English was far from perfect. She added a German word here and there that she knew, and she laughed a lot, and the kids were all eager to help her explain what she meant, so they were all ears, guessing for words, and talking English back to her, forgetting their normal shyness about speaking English.
Wonderful.
(Read my two posts about Servas for more info about when lovely Yi Ping visited us on Fanoe).

English is a wonderful language. So many nuances, so lovely sounding in its melody and rhythm.
It is also grammarwise a simple language, and the one that people use to reach out internationally to eachother.

Just simplify English, add body language and eye contact and a sense of humour, and you´ve got yourself a real interesting and fun time talking to people from anywhere.
I love it.

I hope the Burmese family can come Saturday. And if they can´t, then we will find an other time. There is so much to learn from having friends from other countries. I look forward to getting to know all four individuals in their family, and to experience how the Danish language becomes easier and easier for us to use in our communication, as they get to practice using it, not just sitting still listening and writing things down in a notebook.

Language is first and foremost a practical tool between human beings, not a fancy theory
to master to perfection on paper.

This is funny. Seven minutes long, but pretty funny minutes.
I think you will enjoy them. 🙂

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Family Quality Time

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Remember this song? It was a big pophit in Norway back in… 2005? Or 2006. Back then I had one of those “jumping-seats” installed in the ceiling of the front room of my tiny flat. And every early evening I would sit my oneyearold daughter in it, and I would put on Schnappi and other up-beat-songs which I had put together on a minidisc, and she would be jumping and I would be dancing, and thus we shared some quality time together right there, laughing and junmping, dancing and singing, every early evening before bedtime.

Quite clever what he´s done in that clip, bytheway. Translated the German lyrics into English. The original video is funny too. Cartoon. Good stuff.

Quality time. It is a much used concept in Scanidnavia these days. Don´t know if it can be translated directly, but. It means to REALLY be together, have fun together or feel close to eachother as a family. When everyday life becomes a juggling puzzle of two fulltime jobs, and school and kindergarten, plus spare time activities such as soccer or horseriding, times x according to the number of children in the family… then when the weekend comes, families often feel like they have to catch up, do something special together, as there was no time for anything but dinner and bedtime in the week that passed. And the week ahead will be the same. Until next school holiday.

Many families then go out, to some organized play space for children. Or they go for a picnic. They plan and structure their weekend.
I am different.
First, I stay at home. So my 3- and 5-yearold only stay half time on kindergarten. They are tired when I pick them up at 1 pm. They want a cup of cocoa and a dvd, Then they chill on the sofa, sometimes take a nap there. After an hour or so, they start playing together, or a neighbour child comes to visit. So everyday life is not so tough on them.

I don´t mean that other families do something wrong. Children are adaptable, they get used to long kindergarten days. And many don´t feel they have the choice to stay at home. Financial pressure.
We can´t really afford it anylonger either. I used to get a small amount from the local council for staying at home with the young, but now that support isn´t there anymore. We survive on my husband´s music teacher job (in a college, teaching future kindergarten teachers how to use music in their work)… but we definately need more money.
It will come, I am not worried.
Through this blog, through my sound therapy, or through me taking some kind of job.

But this was not my focus today, when I say I´m different. Yes, I stay at home and prioritize free time over money. But what is more important here, is that I understand the concept of quality time differently from most people.

Because I don´t feel that the children need to get out and about and do stuff all the time when the weekend comes.
I feel it is more important for them to relax. To not have to rush, for some set deadline like they do in the weekdays, be it the fruit meal in the kindergarten or time to cook dinner, pick up groceries etc.
My kind of quality time involves slow mornings, big brunches, a bath-tub-session if they suddenly say they want that. Sometimes we go to the woods, or to see a play in a Children´s theatre, or a concert… but normally not early in the day. Afternoons are better.
We used to go and visit grandma a lot. She lived on Rømø, another Danish island an hour´s drive away, in a little house in the woods. Peaceful and always so cosy to spend time with her, around meals, around the guitar, and enjoying the children together. We miss that. A lot.

But yesterday! We had an ace Family Quality Time day, and that is what has inspired me to choose this blog title today.

We had visitors. Simply.
A guy that sings in my husband´s bigband, and his wife and their three sons age 11, 8 and 6. (Their daughter who is 15 could alas not come along yesterday).
They arrived at noon, and we had lunch ready. Kids were served first, as our kitchen table isn´t so big. The six of them ate together, and then us four grownups afterwards, while the kids played piano, and whatever, around the house.

After tanking up, the fathers took the kids to a wonderful playground in the forest. While us mothers did a sound healing session. It was marvellous for me. She was happy too. 🙂 Very exciting actually.
After an hour, the daddies and kids returned and we just hung out. It was so nice to watch the children approach eachother and bond. They know eachother from before, but it´s been quite a while since our last hangout.
We left them mainly to themselves, whilst we hung out in the kitchen where my husband was turning the room into a pizza bakery! He had bought 6 or 8 pieces of dough from Jimmy pizzaman around the corner, and chopped up lots of different topping items. Then the kids were called in, one by one, to make a pizza. They loved it, and they impressed me. Very tasty indeed, and with appetizing patterns of mushrooms and tomatoes and stuff. And every child had a pizza exactly to his or her taste as well.
After eating, I took the other mama with me out into my listeninghut in the garden. Plus two glasses and a bottle of wine. So we sat in here, listened to a minidisc from the 90s and had a good talk like us women enjoy so much.
Ten passed ten pm they caought the ferry back to their car on the mainland, then they drove for 40 minutes, and were back at their wonderful farm. They would have stayed the night at ours, but they have a very pregnant horse, so they wanted to get home in case she gave birth last night.

Yes. That´s what family quality time looks like to me.
Amongst many other things. But just to be with others who have kids as well, share the joys of having children, enjoy seeing them get to know eachother, and with four adults present there is space for some fun conversations and twosome activities for the grownups as well.

As soon as their baby horse comes out into the world, they will call us and we will go visit them. Their sheep is pregnant as well, so I hope we´ll get to see the lambs too… It is such a gift to have someone to visit that live not far away, but the driving there is an additional treat, the little ones take a nap and we put a cd on and sing together in the car… Gosh this sounds so romantic, hahaha…

I am so grateful to know these people. My 10yearold daughter is crazy about horses, and the mama of our friend family there has had horses all her life… she brought her a pair of riding trousers yesterday, and a riding coat and some brushes and a rope. The smile on my daughter´s face…
So heartwarming to see.

The bigband that my husband conducts, is just such a special asset in my life. You can read more about it in the blogpost Not Big Bot Band.
It´s about a meeting and party we had with the band a month ago. Actually at our friends´ farm. No kids that time. Just 28 adults, merrily singing and dancing and eating together. Every time they have played enough gigs, they go travelling together. Bringing their partners and kids if they want. Last easter we spent together with the Not Big Bots in a casa with a pool in Fuengirola, outside of Malaga in Spain.
Autumn 2008 we went to Florida together.
Holiday Inn on Cocoa Beach. Disney World and Kennedy Space Centre and Swamp boat riding, watching alligators… Discovering Red Lobster and Denny´s and…right across the street from our Holiday Inn there was one of the best sushi restaurants I have EVER been to… totally anonymous looking by the main road there…

Yeah. Quality time.
Some times it includes travelling. Some times it means a plastic splashing pool in the garden and us all sleeping in a tent out in our garden… when the youngest is very little, it needs to be easy to remain fun for all…

Of course we go to Legoland and other themeparks, (Legoland is quite near to where we live, so we know that place quite well), we go to the public swimming hall, where they have hot water pools as well, steam sauna, jaccuzies, wave machines and slides for toddlers and for bigger people…

But some of the best weekends we have as a family, is when we don´t plan anything, we just spend the time as if it never ran out, follow the children´s wishes for some piano playing or apple tree climbing, just.
Being. Together. Not focusing on any doing.

Some children get stressed these days. I reckon what they need when their weeks are so busy, is to be allowed to rest. To stop running after the clock. Be in their pyjamas until early afternoon if they want.
Be, just be.
Until they get bored. And allow them to be bored.
Because that´s when they suddenly feel the need to get creative. To use their minds to activate themselves, come up with an idea for making some fun.

Yes we do have an Ipad. But only one, so they have to share it. From time to time the charger breaks. And I have to go with the ferry to the mainland to get a new charger. So it often takes me some weeks to do that. In the mean time they don´t really mention the Ipad. They just accept it´s not an option. I really enjoy seeing that they deal with it that way. Because there are times when they find it difficult to share it, they all want to play with it all the time.

My kids also love movies. We have quite a lot of movies. I buy good films, that I don´t mind them seeing over and over again, like kids do. I don´t think Disney Channel is good enough. Nor the Danish children´s tv channel. Or they are good enough for watching a programme or two. But.
Movies are different.
Astrid LIndgrens films, for example. Swedish author, wrote Pippi Longstocking for example, about a girl age about 9 who lives alone in a big villa with her monkey and her horse (!) , she is the strongest person in the world so she throws thieves up in a lamp post if it´s needed… A true superhero. She´s god a suitcase full of gold coins, and her father is a captain on a ship far away, one time she has to go save him from pirates…
My kids love Miyazakis´s animation films, Japanese. Fantastic films, both in form and content.
And they love the animation films about the tiny African boy Kirikou, and the film Azur and Asmar, all made by the same French animation company…
So.
They get to chill on the sofa and watch movies. In Denmark it is cold, windy and dark outside, from October until March/April. In the Summer, not a lot of movietime.
In winter, quite a lot, but of course not limitless.
I find they naturally get up and start doing other things after a movie. If they don´t, then at some point we switch the tv off, and make a break.
I´m not worried about their use of screens for entertainment. As long as 1; it is quality they are spending their time watching. Or good games like Minecraft or Wii dancing or Supermario, stuff like that, non violent…
And 2; as long as it´s not too much time spent in front of screens, that they are physically active as well, and play more active games with eachother.
For my three, it doesn´t seem be a problem to find a healthy balance. For other children, other rules may be necessary.

Right. I think I have covered what I wanted to include about family quality time.
Maybe I can just add that my husband and I also make sure that there is quality alone time for each of us adults. It makes us better parents, knowing that he will play badminton tonight, or go watch a football match at the stadium. And for me to go to board meetings, and sit out here in my listening hut, do guided meditations…go to the jamsession at the local once a month, or a poetry reading on the mainland…
What we need to get a bit better at, is to make quality time for the two of us as a couple. But it´s getting easier now that our youngest just turned three. We can now go away without the three gems.
And we do also get good conversations in, or watch a documentary together and similar easy stuff, the nights when we don´t fall asleep exhausted, together with the children! 🙂

I never planned to have a family. My first child just happened. My second was planned. And my third just happened. And here we are now, a whole bunch of five!
I have a half Caribbean daughter, and two blonde Scandinavian little ones. There are sisters with 5 years´ agedifference, both of them with curly hair, one dark and one almost white haired, I call them my Yin and Yang…
And then there is a bit less than two years between the middle sister and the little brother. (He´s got long, straight hair, no curles).
So I really have got everything a social psychology loving mother can use to learn about life. 🙂
A mulatto´s path, the issues of identity are special there. Sisterhood.
The big age difference (which I am used to from my own siblings, sisters 6 years and 12 years my junior), plus the little age difference…
Sisterbrother-relationships…

I love being in charge of this family, together with my husband. And of course, the core also includes his adult children. Five siblings in all.
“A together-brought family” we call it in Danish.
The kids that are not biologically linked to oneself, we call “bonus children”. Isn´t that a nice term for it?
And they truely are a bonus to me, his grown kids.
Very loving and wise young people. Creative and honest too. With wonderful life partners, and there is even a grandson in our core now! He will be two in September. His uncle, my youngest, just turned three. It will be so much fun to watch them connect in the years to come.

Lucky is my middle name.
Family Quality Time.
I am truely a very rich lady.

Let me finish with the song that my eldest child was born to. It was in a natural birth clinic in Bergen in 2004. I brought my ghettoblaster and my minidisc mixtapes. We arrived at the clinic at midnight. And she was born 02.34 am. At that moment, this song was in the room with us:

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Blog Technicalities

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A lot of you readers ask me about what platform I use, what host I have, you say it looks great the design, and it loads quickly.

Well. I use WordPress. My darling husband set it up for me through the web hotel where I already have a domain. I think it is called Surftown. (Don´t hang me if I´m wrong)!

The design is just one of the free themes one can choose in WordPress. I clicked one, and then clicked one more time for colour scheme, and voila. There is was, all ready allright. Sweet delight.

WordPress is free as well. I don´t know how difficult it is to install, but you can find many videos about it on Youtube.

Then you can install plugins. Also for free.
I have one called Count per day, which tells me about how many readers I have and where they come from.

I have installed a plugin to import my comments from Facebook. It doesn´t seem to work, though. I don´t know why.

I also have a spamfilter plugin. But it is so efficient that I remove it the days I can deal with trashing the spam. I would like a spamfilter that did not filter out EVERY comment in the universe. I need help with this.

I have installed something which can make photo albums. I just don´t get how it works. Yet.

Today I have created myself a username in a forum for online business people, and placed an add for a “WordPress Genie”; someone who can come to my house and sell me 2-3 hours of WordPress help!

Because I desperately just want it to work, GodBlessIt.
I want to install a Donation Button, so readers can send me a quid or two if they feel like it. And I want Google Adsense to install an advert (a non disturbing one), so that I can earn money on blogging.

As you might know, I have no income at all right now.
I am half way through an education to be a vocal sound therapist (Check out the post “Vocal sound therapy”, or “My soundhealer inauguration” or “Introducing: Githa Ben-David” for more info on that issue)…
And I have three children to take care of, and we need to travel to Norway this Summer and see our family there… (Which I´m sure you know, is an extremely expensive little country ot spend holdiay money in…)

So I just want these technical issues to be dealt with NOW.
And I have tried my best. And not been able to solve it myself.

BIG SIGH.

Yeah…
So now I told you how I got to have this blog. WordPress has got 17-20% of the market, it runs that many web sites. I just heard, in this Youtube tutorial.

I just tried to authenticate my google account for the plugin Google Analytics. Only it won´t let me save the settings. So I have spent an hour trying to find out why. Through Googling Google Analytics. BIIIIIIG SIIIIIIIGH.

No luck.

I am not a technicality dumbass though. I have made many tv-programmes, for example. Shooting video and editing. Check out my videopoems, they are in the blogpost “Linking, my videopoems installation”. (Or similar title).
I have also self published a book.

But this plugin business, and this adsense nonsense… Yeah. I´m searching for a WordPress Genie to come show me the way.

At least, while I´m waiting to be set up for the possibility of earning money on this activity, plus to have comments that is a mixture of Facebook comments and direct blog reader comments, without spam glam (wordplay on glam rock, which is quite full of sparks and glitter in their costumes, for example Marc Bolan… So are the spammers´comments, they really spark and shine, it´s such a shame all that amazingly positive feedback isn´t true, hahaha…)!

Luckily I have a friend in Australia, who knows some things about blogging and spamming and stuff, so I will read up on the info she has told me to check out. (Thank you, Miriam)!

Seems I need to spend some time finding out a lot of things about WordPress. I just don´t have that time. I barely have time to update my blog and practice my sound therapy for my exams. Kids take a LOT of focus. As all you parents out there know. 🙂 They need it and they deserve it. Don´t mean to complaint. At all. It just means research time is scarce.

That´s why I am searching for a WordPress Angel. I will pay for a couple of hours, out of my empty pocket. So that I can install moneymaking things on this site, and get to see if it can be a source of income for my family. It would be bliss if it could.

(I wanted to put a video with the Danish band Bliss here, but the music was a bit too meditative (yet beautiful, check it out) for here and now, so I found one of my other favourite songs instead.
Eurithmics. OhYeah.
There must be an angel. A WordPress Angel.
Who will come and play with my Heart Matters.
And push my plugin buttons. Hehehe…

See you later. I will try to post another post later today, or tomorrow morning. One not about techinical frustrations.
But it was nice to get this off my chest.
And I hope you commenters get some answers our of this, that you can use in your attempt to create yourselves a blog of your own.
For tips on writing in general, check out my post called “Tips on Writing”. 🙂 Happy weekending, friends!

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Clothes

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Hundertwasser_maxi_02

This wonderful man is Friedensreich Hundertwasser from Austria. He is one of my absolute favourites as an artist, architect and thinker.
He lived on a houseboat named Regentag (Rainyday). He had a manifesto against using straight lines in his paintings and architecture. He was far before his time when it came to thinking about the environment and ecological considerations.

There is so much to say about him. He is illustrating my blogpost about clothes because he made his own, he even made his own shoes.
But more than that, he said that the human being has got five skins.
1.The individual human body´s skin
2.The clothes you choose to put on
3.The house you live in
4.The country you live in, or your social network
5.The Earth

We live within each and all of these zones. They mirror us, they are central in us forming ourselves an identity.

A lot can be said about clothes and identity. Uniforms, signs that tell the world you belong to a group…security needles signifying anarchism, punk rock…tie dye and bell bottomed jeans and suddenly you are seen as a hippy, white shirt and tie there goes an office worker, a loyal servant of the state… we read these signs subconsciously, and we are probably way too quick at generalizing, judging, thinking we know a lot about a person just from the clothes he or she is wearing.
A lot of the time there will be some truth to our generalizations. But not always. And never the full truth. A human being is far too complex to be categorized from just looking at the clothes.

Myself, what do I wear?
I often choose the day´s outfit from an intuitive need for a colour.
I will reach for the purple, or the green, blue, dark orange… sometimes red. Hardly ever yellow. Sometimes anonymous stuff like grey or black. Don´t have much brown. Not much white either.

Apart from colour, I dress for the occasion. A touch of formal elegance when I feel it will gain me. Other days I feel in the mood to wear my cheaky, very worn light blue jeans, with a hole on the right knee.
Most days, as I have the priviledge of working at home, I choose something comfortable, that does not cling to my body or feel tight around my waist. Wide pants, topped with a tunika. Or wooly jumper. Colourful scarf.

I like wide, relaxed dresses, in soft textiles. But I absolutely HATE IT when a skirt decides the ways I can sit or walk, small steps and polite leg crossing isn´t my forte…
I like to feel free. To sit in a lotus on the chair while I eat.

So no. I don´t wear high heels either. Sure I can see they make me look taller, and wearing them straightens my back somehow. But honestly I prefer stilts. I´m quite good at stilts. It´s a fun challenge. For half an hour. Whilst tip toing on high heels for hours on end… all my weight resting on my poor toes, squeezed into those far too narrow shoes… no thanks. I can´t run after a bus either, in “shoes” like that! Can´t dance properly. Simply a restraint of movement. Is how they feel. To me.

I respect every person´s choice of clothes. Don´t get me wrong.
I don´t pay much attention to what people wear. I do notice, when someone shows a nice sense of colour combination. When someone´s outfit shows a sense of humour or a political attitude.

Saturday morning, I was making my way through Copenhagen on the metro and train, to get to my course. (See the post Vocal Sound Therapy for more info). It was 08.30 in the morning, so not a lot of traffic. I looked around at people as I strolled, and was surprised. Everybody was wearing black coats! Really! I counted eight people on bikes who passed me. All in black! I kept looking around. Even young Africans were wearing black overcoats. Amazing.
After a few minutes I realized it was not 100%. Thank Goodness. But ok, 85%, then. How did they all come to his agreement? My dark purple coat suddenly seemed very colourful in these surroundings!
Is it because it is a big city? They all wear black because it feels nice and anonymous? They don´t want to disturb eachother by being too visible?
Funny.
Is black the new… black? Is it the same in all cities?
Black on black… that was a great song, from the late eighties. Dalbello. Interesting woman.

Yeah, identity… Since Elvis came around in the 50s, we have used music genres in our self definitions.
Am I a rock´n roller? (If there is such a term)?
Well yes I guess. The Rolling Stones, Little Steven, Queens of the Stone Age, the Clash…
But I love pop music more maybe. Or is it funk? Prince, Culture Club… The Kinks, Beatles, Beach boys, Radiohead, Michael Jackson as well… so many…
And more than that do I love old school reggae from Studio One, Jackie Mittoo, Lee Perry (I guess that´s more dub), Peter Tosh…
Oh but where to put Marianne Faithfull, Leonard Cohen, Pink Floyd, Nina Simone, Snatam Kaur…
What is such a taste as mine, called?

I am a musiclover. Will that do? I share many hippy values, but not all of them. I have sympathies for punk philosophy too. A bit.
I am a rebel. Against non peacefulness. For justice, freedom and equality. Solidarity, compassion and brothersisterhood.
I don´t know if there is a label for my kind. I don´t feel that I need a label, though, so. No worries.

When I was younger, meaning until I had my first baby (age 32), I always wore jeans and a t-shirt. Different jeans, different t-shirts. But 99% of the time, these items of clothing. My body was slim, athletic and pretty perfect, in my view. I felt at ease in jeans and a t-shirt.

I used to go out dancing a lot. Many times I would be driving home afterwards. So I didn´t drink. I never do when I drive. Don´t want to cause someone´s death. Simple as that. I respect traffic rules.

I remember one time I went to the disco straight from a christmas family party. I was wearing a red dress.
The next day I told my family I had not been left alone for a minute at the disco, lots of men asked me to dance all the time! My mother said with a smile that “yes, men do like women who dress up”. And I had to explain to her that I was not interested in men who came running after me because they could see my legs. I was interested in the 2-3 guys who would approach me when I was in my jeans and t-shirt. Those who could see my personality, not just my clothes and my body.

I´m still that way. Well. My body has carried three babies, so it doesn´t look as perfect as it used to. But then again. Perfect, in context to what? I mean, my body has created three living, healthy children. What is more perfect than that? It has also provided milk for all of them. This makes my breasts perfect, actually.
There is a cultural view on how the female body is to look to be judged as attractive. This view changes with time. Different centuries, different beauty ideals. Different decades different fashions, both to clothes and to body beauty.
In other words, one can´t take these ideals too seriously.

I have a slogan. Which I created myself, I´m very proud to say. I hope to print it onto some t-shirts one day. Maybe tunika-shaped t-shirts, so that people who have birthed 3 kids can feel good wearing the shirts too… 🙂 Here goes, listen up:

Function Fucks Fashion.

It even has a double meaning.
1.That something works, is more important than the way it works.

But that´s not my intended meaning.
This is:
2.That an item of clothing keeps you warm, or safe from the sun or rain or wind…which is the primary function of clothes… is way more important than the opinion of the fashion industry about the item´s “trendyness”.

I made this slogan while I was wearing a boilersuit from a fish factory where i worked. It was a blue boilersuit, very old and one might say ugly, after a decade or so in daily use in a fish factory.
But I grew so fond of it, that I actually took it with me when I quit the factory.
Ok, then. Yes I did steal it I guess. But it WAS very old and ugly. The other workers had newer boilersuits.

I stole it, and I wore it when it was snowing outside, in the morning as I made my 45 minute long walk to Piraya Film Company. Yup. I wore it to my fancy film company job. Of course I took it off when I arrived. Nice and dry, normal clothes underneath the blue suit. But.
Still. I´m pretty proud of that.
Getting that job did not make me stress and struggle to find a “suiting” style of clothes.
Then again, it was a rebel company. Jeans and t-shirts were wide spread. Nobody there ever commented on my fish factory uniform.

I actually miss that boilersuit. I gave it to a homeless shelter one winter, and I regret it. I thought at the time that it would stop me from walking around in the city looking strange. And it could also keep a homeless person nice and warm. But I regret it. Ever since then, I have wanted to purchase myself another boilersuit. One winter I´m sure I will.

The fashion industry. I think they are…a sign of sickness. Society consumer mentality imbalance.
“This spring it´s these new colours that matter. Different from last season´s”.
Just so that you can´t fake being up to date. You have to buy stuff you don´t need, in order to look like you´re trendy. Following the fashion.

Love this song about it.

Well, I´m not a follower of anything. Least of all fashion. I don´t see the point, to be honest. To look like everyone else? Isn´t that a bit fearful? Afraid to stand out? To be different?
Hey, we are all different! Every one of us is unique. Like snowflakes are. What´s the big deal?
Afraid others won´t accept us?
I remember high school without Levi´s jeans and Millet jackets. No, I was not accepted. I was even mildly bullied about it. But.
It didn´t change me. Or even rearrange me.

Could you be loved?
Is that the question that gives the fashion bizniz its central place in our consciousness? That we do not feel good enough? We try to show we are worthy of being loved?
“Look at me, I´m in with the in crowd, I have this expensive label on my trousers…”

I actually think fashion is old fashioned. It is doomed. Because earth can not maintain it. If we do keep up the consumer culture pace…then we, as a species, will die. Maybe that´s just as well. I´m sure the earth and its flora, fauna and wildlife has a better balance and far less pain without us humans here.

If we want to survive, though, to be the fittest, as not Dickens but…Darwin yes…claimed in his theory… (Same first name)…then we have to stop throwing away perfectly functional stuff just because the fashion guru says on the telly that the cool thing to wear is not like he said yesterday. Yesterday is so out. And blue is the new puke.

Sorry. Yes it does provoke me. I find it so brainless.
Then we rush out and buy the new textile items. And we empty our closets and throw away the stuff we bought and found so cool only a year ago.
What is it good for?
For the economy? For the profit makers´ economy.
It is not good for your private economy. But that´s your own problem. The real problem is that it is just not good for our planet!!! All that cotton, all that colouring… it is killing our mother earth. Together with the other pollution.

Soon we can´t eat the fish. Can´t drink the water, can´t breathe the air. Then what? Die pretty in pink? Die in our brand new, shiny car?

What about the children? What are they supposed to inherit?
A broken planet. Radioactivity. Fracking. Oil spills. What are they going to eat? What are they going to breathe?

Anyways.
I don´t really mean to preach. It just comes sprouting out. Like a bean stalk. Coz I do actually believe we need some saving if we don´t shift our direction soon.
And who will shift it? The industry of ProfitMaking?
Of course not.
Vote with your feet, as they say. There will be no consumer culture if we are not willing to be consumers.
End of story.

Myself I have textiles in different colours. And some items a bit more elegant, a bit more feminine, a bit on the funny side, a bit on the cheaky side, or the political side. My clothes they show my personality. And there is only one of me. So I appreciate diversity, non conformity. There´s the start of a song right there.

If and when I get plenty of dough, and money flows like golden honey everywhere I go… then I will go shopping for clothes. But didn´t I just say? No i didn´t. We all need clothes on our bodies. And my wardrobe has housed the same old items now for many many years. Once every decade or so, it´s okay to renew a little.
I would go to London. I love Camden town, the market there.
What´s it called that fancy expensive street? Oxford street?
Doesn´t feel attractive to me. Too stiff and plasticy, non personal, rigid, and stupidly overpriced.
No, I would go to the secondhand store. And hunt myself some funny stuff, colourful things, special items that someone ditched without having used it much. Good quality stuff. That does not look second hand. So much of it out there. That´s a much more creative way of shopping. Challenging my own taste and judgement of cool, instead of just buying into the mythology of the fashion industry. “Buy this…people will like you and dig you and desire youuuu…” It´s like a hypnosis trick! Consumer trance. “Stop thinking for yourself. Just do as we tell you..”

No thanks. I´m quite okay thinking by myself. I even prefer to. Makes me feel alive.
Following fashion is irrational. It is to allow other people
to decide the way you look. The signal you send out.
“Hello, I´m one of you, don´t be afraid, I´m just very ordinary, a fashionfollower like the rest of you…”

Am I too harsh?
I am not belittling. I respect everyone the same. I do.
I just don´t understand the need. The why. Follow fashion.

If it wasn´t such a disaster for our planet, and our children´s future, then it would just be amusing.
But if we don´t collectively wake up from this consumerism… it has serious consequences. It threatens our existence. That´s why I get edgy.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just want us to realize what the bizniz of clothes is costing us.

Don´t I have a suit-able (pun intended) music video that would make a funny or elegant ending to this post?

Hmmmm…Nooo…. I just searched youtube…there are some recycling raps but… nothing exciting, or juicy or fresh… and none of them mention the recycling of clothes, either. Sure, paper and cardboard is important. Without trees, we don´t get oxygen. But. My issue here is clothes.
Wonder how big a percentage clothes is, of our trash…
Not a small percentage.

So let´s recycle our old stuff, clothes included. And let´s also go searching for new stuff in second hand stores.
Save the planet.
And show the world you create your own style. Your skin is as unique as your inner self is. You don´t need to look like everyone else to feel safe and good enough.

This turned into a bit of a rant. I´m searching for Benjamin Zephania, the poet, on youtube, without luck at the moment.
Oh, internet working again… Found lots of different interesting Zephania pieces, about money, and immigration… but not the piece I was looking for, called “Everybody´s got a Rant”.

It is late now, midnight soon, which is very late for me these days when I mother three… (usually I stay up write in the night when the silence is quiet… I will do that again as soon as my youngest child is old enough to not wake me at 5 o´clock demanding a cup of cocoa)! Hehehehe…

Clothes.
Let´s wear it, enjoy it not fear it, and let´s try to not make our ways with clothes be a burden on our mother earth.

Oh, I just found this on youtube now. Search and you shall find. This is f***ing awesome… 🙂 …

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