Category Archives: Parenting

Manifestation Time

Facebook
rssyoutube

Hello there, from my flying carpet, as I have started calling my beloved double mattress on the floor. 🙂

Summer hols mode, my young kids (6 & 8) went to sleep as late as 11 pm, poor little mites. We spent the whole day in Esbjerg Museum of Fishing, with the aquariums and feeding of seals and. Nice place. Picnic on playground. After a quick coffee / icecream to end the session, we went to a BILKA (mall) and lo and behold we found a cheap bicycle for our little boy. He needs the next size up. We have inherited and old one, but it will take both money and working hours to get that one running. So we got this new one instead. Demo model. Last year´s fashion. Hence cheap. Perfect. 🙂

I´m very excited and busy these last few days. My new expensive course has started. Ryan Eliason´s Visionary Business School. (Plus another one I also enrolled in, a pilot project hence not so costly, by Malene Bendtsen. Also very interesting).

I have so much to learn! It is quite… I won´t say overwhelming, but. One thing is the technical stuff I have to learn, about platform and funnels and. But then I will have to learn to love marketing. And using myself as my brand. Or. To be the change. Which involves working on mindset. Which is not new to me, I am a trained hypnotist after all. And have done a course with John Assaraf as well, and listened to Esther Hicks for years…

But. Still. Revolutionary success.  It takes all my courage. My mind brings on waves of doubt, fear… And my homework is to present my purpose, mission and vision…! In our facebook group, with a team of coaches cheering us on, giving feedback…. Fuck, I´m loving it! I´m scared by it all, and I´m loving it immensely at the same time. Just like the teacher predicted. I´m in good hands. Of this I feel certain. And when that part is certain, all is well, really.

So I will be doing intense studies this autumn. On several fronts, but all shedding light on the same issue; the digital economy of online teaching.

Learn to integrate all my passions, life experience and education, into sellable packages of information, as well as services like conversations, sound therapy and with time hypnosis. Can´t wait to get to understand how the … to create this!

But I have to take a break from the studying the next 3 weeks. As we are approaching the date for my eldest daughter´s confirmation. 60 guests in the community hall. Hired chef, got a speech to write… tablecloth and table plan (who sits where) … the full monty. She confirms her choice of not belonging exclusively to the church/christianity. She believes in Jesus AND Buddha. And wants to keep an open heart and mind, doesn´t feel ready to choose to belong to only one religion. So. I have had conversations with her throughout the year, about human rights, humanism, sexuality, growing up in general, different spiritual practices… we have been together at a fullmoon ceremony on Bornholm (island east of Denmark) with a shaman from Greenland. And we have been together for a workshop about the healing power of sound. Tibetan singing bowls and vocal sound therapy. In a church.

So now it´s time to do the last preparations. Write the speech. It will come. I expect to wake up in the middle of the night soon, words running in my brain like a river.

(Right now she is actually in South-Africa with her choir, and they won gold in the World Choir Games!!! 60 young girls. BRILLIANT conductor / choir leader, a lady. It is just. UNbelievably wonderful and touching. Tomorrow she has breakfast at 6 am and they go on safari! Imagine being 13 years old and receiving such an experience. I am very grateful for her. And proud. She has been working hard, they didn´t get gold for free, so to speak, they have worked real hard, on the songs, and practicing African choreography dance moves… It has paid off. It is a most wonderful life experience for her).

I´m also about to renovate a room in my house, by the way! My goodness! It has to be emptied of stuff first. I don´t have a clue where to put it all, even! But. I will do that before the big party. So that my family members who are coming in from Norway, can help me continue the process of getting it renovated.

I am exhausted just thinking about all of this!

Watched my video installation tonight, that I made for an exhibition in 2011. It is actually rather good for slowing down my breathing… A meditative tempo in these 15 texts of mine, mixed with visuals and 5 of them also with a melody. I´d like to do more videowork like this. Slightly better quality technically, but this was before HD, it´s shot on dv-tape, 16:9 format.

Anyways.
Yeah, I just wanted to check in on you here in my blog space.
Check in on myself at the same time. I do love to reflect on my reflections. 🙂 Gives me inner calm to express my thoughts and emotions in writing. Found out recently it´s called scripto-therapy! Done it all my life. Journaling.

It´s kind of hard for me to write about stuff other than what is filling my heart. What matters to me on heart level. Coz those heart matters do matter, the most, even. To me.

In a couple of weekends I´m gonna go blogging, from the Fanø Free Folk Festival, as I do every year. (Or. It´s the 3.time I videoblog about the festival, but I´ve attended it for 8 or 9 years, from it began).

So then there will be some great gig clips to be seen here. On my youtube channel (in my name), and then linked in here, in blogposts.

This said, my arms are a bit achy after too much typing lately. So let me go to sleep oh my God it´s almost 01 am!!!???!!!

Feel to leave u with this lovely tune. Enjoy and good night, friends. Lots of love from me here on my flying carpet. 🙂

Facebook
rssyoutube

Straight for a Change

Facebook
rssyoutube

In this Fanø house from the 1760s, is where I spent a couple of hours today, together with my 12yearold, and the kind, sweet lady who lives in the house.

We spent the two hours in her bathroom! As we came to receive her help with making a “relaxer treatment” on Lava´s hair.
I have asked everyone who crossed our path in all these years, for help with her hair. Half Norwegian, fine hair, and half Caribbean.        A eufro, I named it.
Not easy to comb, and it always grows upwards towards the sky, not downwards towards the earth.
But Birthe, as her name is, has lived in several African countries working for Unicef, and she has two daughters with African hair. So she simply went and got us a superb product in an Asian shop in Esbjerg, and today she showed us how it is done when one relaxes hair…!

First, separating areas of hair, so one can do one area at a time…:

Then…:

15 minutes later….:

Then letting it stay in for 20 minutes…

Rinsing with one type of shampoo that turns the water pink until all the “stuff” is rinsed out…:

Then another bag of stuff, to make it soft and shiny and help it “heal” from the straightening stuff…

And then to just leave that in for 10 minutes…:

Lava´s sister came by and joined us, as she didn´t want to go with dad and her brother to the forest playground (!) … :

Then another rinse…:

And a round of special conditioner as the last step.
Result: One very happy girl. Imagine it can be like this!!!

Facebook
rssyoutube

Growing grownups

Facebook
rssyoutube

u have the e of the sun in u Rumi

“You have the energy of the sun in you. ”
– Rumi

I´m tired. And I have a cold. So I´m off to bed in a sec. Just feel like saying hi to you my blogreaders.
From the bedroom underneath my feet, I can hear my eldest daughter and her three fellow 11-yearold girlfriends chattering and giggling. So sweet, they truely are. I feel honoured that they ask to come stay over at ours. I very much want my kids to bring their friends home. Where I can get to know their friends, keep a distant eye on them as they approach puberty… not intimidatingly. I´m neither a curling mom nor a helicopter mom. Far from it. My goal is to grow independent self reliant children. They have to be given freedom in order to make mistakes they can learn from.
But by giving them space to hang out in my home, I get the priviledge of them turning to me from time to time, with an important question, or a story of how life is treating them. And that is an openness and a level of trust I appreciate and work towards.

Anyways. They are downstairs, and I´ve told them I´m off to bed and to ask dad if they need help with anything. And that the only promise I want them to give me, is that they will brush their teeth before they fall asleep. Which they´ve promised. Bless them.   🙂

Let me share some of the slogan posts I have gathered in my Facebook stream lately , all to do with parenting, or children…

childrens feelings

 

Nice one to keep in mind…  Here is another one…

 

feelings are ok

Yeah… if only children were taught this. That any emotion is okay. And  that shaming people for showing feelings that feel unpleasant to the surroundings, is not okay… This is actually a big problem in our society. Suppression of feelings. Sadness, anger. Until it boils over. Or explodes…

Another one:

finnish school system

Interesting, isn´t it? The Finnish system and its results… I wish other countries would go research and copy the stuff that works. That would be intelligent.

u are worthy always

Imagine if this is what our kids learnt in school. I think that how to tackle life´s challenges, should be the primary thing for them to learn. Psychology, communication, empathy, how to build good, positive networks, how to think positive, how to build trust, how to love oneself…

Oh. I could write a lot about this. But not right now. I´m really knackered.

One last poster and off to bed with me.

Here you are. A great piece of advice for any human, big or small.  🙂

before u sleep think happy

Facebook
rssyoutube

Puppet Theatre in Budapest

Facebook
rssyoutube

We spent a week in beautiful Budapest, 1.-6.of November. In super sunshine. Check out my post http://kaltwasser.dk/janos-mountain-budapest/ for the story on our first day there, on a walk around the Janos mountain.

The following morning, we had booked tickets for The Magic Flute by Mozart in the city´s house for puppet theatre. I don´t remember the name of the place (Hungarian names are hard to memorize, it´s a very unique language and not an indo european language like most other European languages are…)

Anyways. They have a puppet theatre performance every day in that house!

For the five of us, we paid about 500 Danish kroner, or abouts… 8o euros? Not expensive compared to in Denmark.

We were told to arrive early. And then spent about an hour waiting around in their lobby. Luckily there were many fascinating things to look at there… :

dukke i foaje mand

dukketeater pirater i skib

monter puppet shows

dronning dukke

brillejente dukke

jungelboken monter

Puppets from different plays… The Jungle book I recognized… and a queen?

The Magic Flute was a 2 d show, where the dolls were made of paper, on sticks… we were not allowed to take pictures during the performance. But I did take this one before it started:

dukketeater total

I felt so moved when I walked into that room… something about puppet show setups really get to me, I don´t know why. In my favourite film as well; “La belle histoire”, French from about 1992… there are scenes from a puppet theatre… and it totally makes me feel all… I don´t know what to call it.  Moved.

On our way out from the theatre again… I hope next time we get tickets for a show with the normal 3d puppets… and that there are no school classes that get to sit in all the front seats… I´m really looking forward to going back there one day. Unfortunately all the other shows that week were sold out.

montre på vej ud

Facebook
rssyoutube

On Creativity

Facebook
rssyoutube
 Been a few days since I updated my blog now.  It´s because I´m still struggling with this cold, feeling tired and deflated. Plus I´m attending this 30 day long workshop through email, where I do psychological / spiritual excercises an hour every day. It´s free. Her name is Katja Strandgaard, website called Life in Spirit… hereby recommended. 🙂
I found this vid the other day. Love it truely. Hope you enjoy it:

https://youtu.be/goAIXgYB3xM

Creativity. I´ve read heaps of books about it. How to stimulate it, help it flow, help it grow…

u cant use up creativity

Like flexing a muscle…makes it stronger…
I could tip you on a few great book titles. But then I have to find the books, behind the sofa… it´s an hour long project to find the books I´m thinking about, even though I know their whereabouts…

I´m too tired for that right now.

showered cat

Hahaha…. this photo is proof of quite a creative cat owner… probably a young one…?    🙂

Creative is to make up. To spot that a cup can also be a hat. And a musical instrument. And a house for a mouse. Or ornament for a christmas tree…

lesegyngestol

The person who made this chair, had a pretty creative mind…    🙂
We all want one of these chairs, don´t we?
He or she could make millions, selling these.

vegan sushi

Pretty creative looking sushi maki rolls… purple… ! …
Actually, today I made “sushi salad” for dinner. Which was invented by my grlfriend Katarina in Bergen this Summer. Sushirice, wasabi, ginger, salad leaves sprinkled with sesame oil… fish /prawns… avocado, brussel sprouts, corn in butter… It was a feast. We made packages, wrapping our favourite ingredients in sea weed. Mmmmmm…. I´m really full. And so are the kids actually!

teach gardening

There´s creativity in gardening, cooking, sewing, painting, there´s creativity in any activity where we use our sense of fresh vision, to see things anew, from more angles than the agreed upon one, the conventional…  making something that wasn´t there before we started…

Yeah.  And now I will sort out the spelling mistakes of this blogpost and publish it and take my little son to bed and fall asleep together with him! It´s half past 7 pm and I am just… knackered. Utterly and completely knackered. This day has been good, but now it is long enough.

Give me some of this!

like cat and dog, peaceful sleep

Facebook
rssyoutube

Danes are born with bikes! :0)

Facebook
rssyoutube

So I finally got a chance to film my tinytot riding his bike, this morning. Normally I am busy holding his seat while he gets up on his pedals. But today his dad just suddenly taught him to start on his own too, so… YEAH!

Like I wrote underneath the video on Youtube, Norwegians are said to be born with skis on their feet. And I reckon one could say that Danes are born sitting on a bicycle! 🙂

Wonderful to watch them learn new, difficult skills. Mastery. Success. Like jumping from the kitchen table to the floor. Or floating in a pool without being held by a grownup…

Kids learn to bike real early here, and the flatness of the landscape has some of the honour for that. In addition, there´s the trend of giving toddlers “running bikes” to ride when they´re 18 months old. On those bikes they learn to balance. And then, getting up on the pedals is not as big a challenge as it is if one has not been on a running bike first.

Anyways. Just wanted to share this proud moment with you. Of my youngest one, biking to kindergarten through our hood this fine, sunshiny morning.

I wish I had been more aware whilst behind the camera. I should have told his sister there, that I wanted to film her brother because he just learnt to ride himself, and that she is very good at it too! I kind of tell her to move out of the way so I can film her brother! Hahaha…. but I´m sure she understands my focus. She gets a lot of praise as well, all the time. So.
Nothing as guilty feeling as a mother, huh?! We never feel quite good enough, do we?!

sark on how to love kids

I dig SARK. She´s got books and posters going on. Excellent stuff.

Well, I must dash now! Sees y´all later, gators!

Facebook
rssyoutube

My parents´shoes

Facebook
rssyoutube

There is this feeling. That I get when I put clothes on in the morning and find myself wearing my mom´s cool cardigan that she let me inherit, the nice skater shoes that were too small for my sister, and jeans my soul sister girlfriend used to own… It makes me feel closer to them all in some peculiar way.

20141227_183505

This is a painting of my “farfar”, father´s father. Whose house I grew up in, so I could actually climb the stairs up to his flat before I could walk! He was my daycare; when all the other adults in the house went to work, him and I hung out playing pirate ship underneath his frontroom table, playing Ludo with 12 dice (and I always won), picking plums and apples in the garden, mowing the lawn and weeding, taking naps on the sofa together, going out in his car to pick up grandma from her job in the telephone central…
He made me a doll´s house once, and stilts, and a wooden gun that could shoot rubber bands for real!
He was my superhero. With a capital S.

I also have an item of clothing after him, a dark blue and white knitted cardican that he wore a lot.
I have clothes after my dad as well, who left us in 2010. His red hand knitted woollen jumper that my mom made him, and the last pair of Ecco shoes that he bought for himself. I wear them for a month or two every autumn/spring.

Some weeks ago I was visiting my mother for Summer holiday, and I was in my car driving alone, whilst wearing a pair of expensive sneakers she´d just given me as it hurt her feet to wear them. Suddenly I had the urge to write these words on a scrap of paper:

Inheritance

My parents´ shoes are only
one small size too large for me
they fit me rather comfortably
both physically and metaphorically

I´d rather that their footsteps be
a size I can´t fill easily
an example to follow gratefully
to grow into step by step

glass refillable

With that poster I aim to move into saying that by no means were my parents perfect in my childhood. They were human, and they did the best they could. They have openly told me a bunch of times how they didn´t quite understand how to deal with me when I was little. I was just different to the other kids. I didn´t play in the sandbox, I watched as the others played… stuff like that.

My mother taught me to read age 4 and a half.
I read a lot ever since, and wrote short stories from age 5. (About how Santa cancelled xmas, for example, because the humans were too materialistic about it, all they wanted was new things).
They got me a piano. Which I played with a teacher for 6 years. So those were two very good things I am grateful for.

Although in some ways they were too strict,  too controlling and didn´t see my sensitivity or intentions…  they always meant well.  I don´t think there are many of us who don´t have issues we need to digest and forgive about our upbringing.
It´s a natural thing between parents and children, where one party has all the power and the other party is forced to obey… to say it in black and white, of course there are always many shades of gray in everything.

I told my dad on his deathbed. I thanked him for always trying his best for me.
I recognize his good intentions. He did really well in some ways, and less well in others. A man of his time and of his own life conditions. For example, he saw his own dad for the first time when he was 3 years old!
As his dad had been out to sea for that long. They did, back then, where I come from. Sailed to China, and Cuba, gone for years at a time… my mother´s dad was a sailor as well. Both were chefs on board their ships.

My parents had a traffic school that they ran together, and it was very successful. All the local 17-18-yearolds got their driver´s licences through them, and they always came and told me how wonderful my parents were. Caring and funny and helpful, both my dad in his car and my mom in their office. My dad touched a lot of people´s hearts whilst teaching them how to drive, to believe in their own abilities, to forgive themselves for making mistakes, to be relaxed yet alert at the same time…stuff you need to learn to master driving.
In his spare time when I was little, he started the first soccer team for girls in my hometown, and I played soccer there from age 8-16.

I´m very proud of them both.
And could tell you a lot more they did and do, that makes me love them so much.

I could also give a lot of examples of times I was hurt by their words or actions.

As  probably all of us can, about our parents.

I wonder how my kids will talk about their upbringing when they become grownups.
All I can do is to try my best for them. And hope that the wounds I cause, will be healable with the help of them knowing that I love them with all my heart.

broken men

But.
Broken (wo-)men can be repaired. The glass is refillable. We develope and grow and change all the way thoughout our lifetimes.

The Japanese have this really nice concept in their thinking, look:

image

And with that, I finish this post. And wish you progress, in whatever area it is you are choosing to grow at the moment.

May the force be with you.  🙂

Facebook
rssyoutube

Goodness

Facebook
rssyoutube

self-help

Not the worst advice I have heard in my life TIME… 🙂

Just sifting through my collected Facebook posters tonight, seeing if I can gather some that will all fit under the title “Goodness”… Let me see…

saudi street fridge for needy

This for sure is goodness. Some moslems really know how to take care of the not so lucky ones in their community. I remember when I lived in Bahrain, I realized that the mosques were places that served soup for the poor people several times a week… Much like some churches do in Norway… But not all churches… I don´t know if all mosques do, either. But this idea of this man, to put a fridge up outside, for people to put their leftovers, so others can help themselves to some food if they want… Big heart, innovative mind. I salute you.

be a good person

Moving image. Could we not all do a bit more of this? We could, couldn´t we, most of us…

children catch your inconsistency

Hahaha, I LOVE posters like this one, pointing the finger right back at the parents… Such a tremendous challenge, parenting. A task full of opportunities to realize how much you have yet to learn! 🙂

like cat and dog, peaceful sleep

Inter-species goodness. Love is love. Heart melting.

a good relationship

So much can be said about what makes a relationship a good one or a not so good one. These words say a lot in a small space. An artform in itself. Crystallized messages.

what is poor

Oh. A political leader like that. Wouldn´t we all want one? I admire him. Big heart, innovative mind.

your light lights the world

This goes for each and every single one of us. We just tend to forget.

money cant buy

Goodness is not primarily about material surplus.

train your mind to see the  good in everything

Yup. Train your mind. “Free your miiiind…..and the rest will follow!”

Which makes me HAVE TO finish up with this ace song from my younger years… 🙂

“Be colourblind….don´t be so shallow!”

“Before you can read me you must learn how to see me!”

I have danced wildly and self-liberatingly on many a dancefloor to that tune.
Pure Goodness. Amen. 🙂

Facebook
rssyoutube

On “The Dane-Boat”

Facebook
rssyoutube

Greetings and Nanu Nanus from Bergen, on the Norwegian westcoast, the beautiful city between seven mountains.
This is our 6.day here. Day after tomorrow we head south to my mom’s on an island called Karmøy.

But here and now I just want to tell you about our transporting ourselves up here.
With three young kids and two weeks’ luggage for five people, we chose to go by car. We drove for 3,5 hours from our home to the harbour of Hirtshals. There we boarded the big ferry, that sailed us from 8pm, and spat us out in Bergen 1pm on the following afternoon.

It is a very relaxing way to travel with kids. We had a cabin, left our luggage therr and went up to the disco bar. There was live music, and lots of children were dancing and running around, so I joined them. Great fun.

A couple of hours later the two youngest kids (5 and 3) were asking to go to bed. Exhausted from travelling and dancing we had a good night’s sleep rocked steadily by mellow waves.

Next morning we ate breakfast, and the kids hung out in “the ball room”, you know those spaces with a slide in a room full of colourful plastic balls…? Us grownups could just sit and relax, have a stroll on deck to enjoy the sight of thr amazing Norwegian coastline…

My eldest daughter, who is ten, made a video to show the ferry to her friends, and I have been allowed to share it here:

She edited out the parts where we see her face as she talks into the camera. Which I think is a shame, but. It is her film, so of course she gets the final cut.

Here is a piece I shot from the sun deck:

And here is one more. Which I want to edit and use as an element in a video poem some time…

Yeah, a pleasant journey in spite of the lack of sun for sun deck sitting. We had a look around the tax free, but coming from Denmark, the prices were only cheap to Norwegians…

We arrived safely and soundly, rested and entertained in Bergen, and drove up the hillside where our friends live. We are stwying at theirs the whole week. Wonderful to be with them again.

So. Yes, the ferry, that us Norwegians call “The Dane-boat”.
A recommended mode of travelling with children.

Facebook
rssyoutube

Recipe for getting good kids! :)

Facebook
rssyoutube

treat a kid good to get a good kid

Treat a kid good to get a good kid.
Exactly.

heal your own stuff for your child

That´s what they call ridding oneself of karma. When you break a pattern.
Stop passing on things your elders did to you, and that hurt you.
If one is hit as a child, most likely one will also hit one´s own children.
But it does not have to be that way. We can heal our shit from the past.
And get rid of karma, and not pass neglect and hurt on to our offspring.

forgive for me

Forgive and put down that heavy luggage. It is not yours to carry.
What others did to you, put it down or the burden will weigh you down.
Doesn´t mean you have to forget. Forgive for the sake of your own inner peace. Throw it away.

child care dont compare

And one last little piece of nudge in a positive direction, maybe the best thing we can do for ourselves if we want more energy, more calm, less aggression and other kinds of stressing:

sit in nature

Facebook
rssyoutube