Category Archives: Poems

About to get to know

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I wish I had a relevant image to illustrate this text with. But I don´t have it right here right now, and now here is the time I want to write this post. So. Off we go. Maybe I can add an image later, if the right one comes along.

I have decided to share with you the poem I think is the best one I have written to date. At least the English one. I do write in Norwegian as well, and a bit in Danish. But this one is my favourite from my book.
Quality is difficult to define. And agree upon. I just really adore this one, for some unexplainable reason.

I think I will actually continue writing underneath the poem. I want to write about my poetry writing. But not analyze the poem. Coz that´s a bit of a crime to me, I always hated dissecting poems in school, it provokes me, as I feel the gift of a poem is, that its meaning is up to the reader to create…?
And poetry to me is about what lies between the lines, what is said without being said… what I as a reader can sense, and not necessarily put into words… touching on the undescribable, words hinting at the unphrasable.

I wrote this piece one warm Summer day in 2007, lying on my stomach in my garden, looking at flowers. I counted 8 yellow and pink roses in bloom. And I just scribbled on from there. Here you are:

About to get to know

Eight flowers blooming
into epiphany
Mind´s narrow eye zooming
into paralyzing stupidity
From frog to eagle soaring
High on Sky
Finding tiny detail boring
See the Real Divide

Eight butterflies fluttering
into play position
Third eye widened shuttering
into wise decision
From overpowered to empowered
Rising
Water Still
Know the Truth of Inner Silence
Hear the Voice of Will

🙂

Decision making in the making…
I was trying to find out whether to move to Denmark or not, whether to trust in my feelings for my new boyfriend, and trust in his feelings for me… enough to move countries, with my little daughter and all…!

I gave myself six months. Told myself not to panick for not knowing clearly what to do. Told myself to relax and just enjoy and explore, and that in six months´ time I would have enough experience to decide whether to stay or whether to go back to Norway again and continue my nice life there…

And sure enough. Six months later I had a clear impression, and was able to reach the decision of moving to Denmark. Away from family and my close and wonderful friends. To be with him. Start again, network wise. And be with him. I had told him that I would only live together with a man if it was absolutely inevitable! I was very happy living on my own before I met him. So peaceful and free. Beautiful darling autonomy!
But. Only love is love.
I decided to move to Denmark and be with him. And it´s been 8 years now since we met. And it feels like we´ve only just begun this relationship.

I have always written poems. And at the same time, I don´t like old classical famous poetry that much. I mean, I hate it when it´s impossible to understand what it means!
I don´t have the patience for sitting wondering and pondering what on earth the writer wanted to say by those cryptic crinclycurly roundabout weird old words, set up in an unnatural way, forming stiff and sticky sentences.

I love song lyrics, though. Like Leonard Cohen`s. To me that´s great poetry. The number one poet and composer of our time, actually. Is my opinion. I have most of his records. I´m your man got me hooked back then. My favourite song of his is “going home” from his last but one album, Old Ideas… But there are so many, so many. Dance me to the end of love. Hallelujah. Like a bird on a wire. Famous blue raincoat. A thousand kisses deep. Dear Heather…

And Little Steven! His lyrics are political, crystal clear, and they make me feel passionate about the issues he talks about. He woke me up when I was 12 years old, he made me realize a lot about justice and solidarity, Sun City, Checkpoint Charlie…I am a patriot…I know them all by heart. Got all his albums on vinyl, from the 80s. Got some of the newer ones on cd too. And rebought them again on iTunes.

Syd Barrett! From the original Pink Floyd. His lyrics on their debut album from 1967… The gnome, the scarecrow, the bike… what a Genious.
Roger Waters´album “Amused to death”… sends shivers down my spine, still. It must be one of the albums I have listened to more than any other in my life. “Watching tv”. “What God wants”. “Perfect sense”. Brilliant poetry.

Coz what is the difference between poetry and lyrics?
I actually don´t know. I was never schooled in litterature science.

To me, the quality of a text has two aspects:
One, the depth of content.
And two, its ability to reach the heart of the reader. To create an atmosphere within the reader. That it communicates. Gives the reader something that the reader values. Reflection. Resonnance.
Of course it´s great when it´s sculpted well. Rhythm, rhyme, references… it is a craft. A skill, an art form. To be mastered. But if the content and the touching the reader is sacrificed in order to look clever… then to me it´s just…about the writer´s ego, showing off. And that´s not what writing poems/lyrics should be about.

I worked in the film industry for some years. There was this annual short film festival. And every year the price would go to the film that showed clever film making techniques. It would not go to the important documentary or the very well told, surprising story.
Always to some silly joke plot plastic fantastic film, made in a clever way by clever form-focused young men. Who in my opinion were wasting their own time and the viewers´. To be making films in order to show the world one´s cleverness just isn´t very clever when there is no value to the content.
When the message is a joke, or a spin on a story often heard before.
The messenger just isn´t the message. I´m sorry, it just isn´t.

Here is a powerful anti war message.

I guess I need to go to bed now.
Midnight. Full moon.
& I drank coffee at a seminar this evening.
Got a lot to do tomorrow.
& in the evening one of my very best friends
is coming all the way from Norway to visit for a handful days.
So I will say good night now.
Hope you enjoyed my little poem.
And that Roger Waters song is just… heartbreaking. Isn´t it.
Deep, meaningful content, and very well communicated.
To me he is indeed a great poet.

Good night now.
Take care out there.
Think twice & be nice.

Peace!

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Aim & Shine

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Heart Matters book cover

I want to share with you two poems from my self published book.
(If you want to buy the book, which so far only exists in old school paper form, then go to the page “Buy my book?” and find out there how to get hold of a copy.

Here are the two poems:

Aim!

Open up your magnet soul,
show your endless beauty.
Find, define and claim your goal,
to be happy is your duty.

&

Shine!

Be brave
don´t be no slave
to any fear or doubt.
You´re happier without,
just turn within!
No such thing
as guilt or sin.
Pure lightlove is what you are.
Magical grain of dust from star.

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Tips on Writing

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Started this Saturday morning with looking through my comments. Found out a lot of it is spam. So I pressed Unapprove, but nothing seemed to happen. Pressed Trash and it went away. Then I searched for a plugin “spam filter”, and it is now installed. So hopefully I can spend my time on the genuine comments from real people instead of trashing endless lists of links to shops or whatever it is.

A few of the comments are about how to start a blog.

I have replied to a handful of them, but let me just say it here to everyone; I use WordPress. It is very easy to download / install or what it´s called (Says my husband who did it for me!)  And free. The design, as you can see, is wonderful. Many themes to choose from.  I chose the colour scheme with a simple tick in a box! And my site loads very fast in most browsers. Some say it doesn´t work that well in IE. I don´t know how to fix that. I basically know very little about blogging. My husband set it up through my domain where I have an old homepage. And then I just started writing posts. Instant gratification. 🙂

Writing. That I do know a little about. Many of the comments from you readers have been about whether I have tips for aspiring writers. So I thought, ok, let that be the title of today´s blog post. Here goes:

I have been writing since I was four and a half years old. Age six I had saved up enough money to buy myself a desk! For christmas age eight I got a typewriter (before they became electric). So. It has been a passion of mine since…. birth or beyond. Probably I have been writing my way through many lifetimes. As a munk in Nepal, for example, copying buddhist scriptures by hand. I don´t know. It wouldn´t surprise me, though.

Tips.

Fingertips. Is the first word that springs to mind, and so I allow it through. Not knowing what to do with it next but resting assured that my fingertips will type their way into some kind of meaningful combination of letters…

What I am trying to picture by that, is. When I write, I silence my mind. I listen within, to what COMES to mind. Then I go with the flow.

So my advice would be to meditate. Focus on your breathing to still your mind. You can´t hear your heart when your mind rambles on. That self critic is also a tough one to get passed. That inner voice that says: “This isn´t good enough. Who do you think you are?!”. Silence it. It is not your friend, it is anti helpful, a voice of fear. Don´t let it be the ruler of your writing. (Two lines underneath that conclusion. Haha. With the ruler used as a ruler).

I have gone to maybe a dozen of writing workshops in my life. When they have crossed my path, I have attended them, and learnt a lot about where to find inspiration, what tools and rules to use in poetry writing, one has to know them to go beyond them, I reckon… I did courses on screenplay writing and short film script writing, a course in creative writing when I lived in Bahrain, poetry writing classes in Bergen, and a writing circle where we read our work out loud to eachother and gave eachother evaluations (That circle work really gave me a lot of confidence and understanding about what works and doesn´t work) …

And I have read a bunch of books about the art of writing. Don´t remember their titles here and now. Search and you shall find. Nothing like the thrill of going to a library or book store and there it just IS, the book you´re looking for, seeming to jump out at you from the shelf! I loooove that feeling. Discovering books. Taking them home. Jumping into bed with them and staying there until we´re finished, if I have the time to read uninterrupted. Before I had kids, I used to spend easter holidays in Bergen in my tiny attic flat behind a locked door, with a full fridge and tons of books, cartoons and cds from the library. Total peace, wrapped up in the embrace of mindblowing reads, written with love by someone who wanted to teach something interesting, and who knew how to communicate with elegance and humour.

I spent a lot of my childhood reading. I did soccer too, age 8-16, and piano lessons same timespan. I did tree climbing and apple stealing. But probably more than anything else, I loved to read. I had a huge cardboard box in my room, filled with cartoons. When I had read them I took them to a second hand bookstore and swapped them into new loads of magazines and books.

So to be a good writer, read.

And choose consciously what you read, because the language used will influence your writing style. Don´t worry though. Read what you feel attracted towards reading. Follow your heart! Listen within!

Some times I play with key words. Association game. I write the first word that comes, down. And underneath it, next line, I write the word that comes when I think about the first one I wrote. Like:

Knife

fork

edginess

piercing

rebel

fire

heat

………………………. it is an excercise helping my mind let go, or maybe rather allowing it to be part of the game, but stopping the rambling, coz I´m not interested in whole or half sentences of sense making………

I think that to write well, it is good to be out of one´s mind……..

Depending on genre. Of course.

In my university years, it was hard to write anything that wasn´t in a scientific language. A very rational, logical structure. From a to b, referring to sources, building up theories. Interesting enough. But not juicy, exciting, passionate or fun…. it doesn´t have to be either. It´s ok. But those textbooks that were written in a looser flow, with a sense of humour, in prose like language… those are the books I remember. That´s one of the reasons too that social anthropology was my favourite subject.  All those fieldwork reports, by anthropologists living with a tribe somewhere, for years, trying to describe and understand their ways of thinking and doing things…. compelling reads.

Well. Where were we?

Silence your mind

Read

Read books on writing

Go to courses

Make association games

What more?

Well….. to me writing is an inner process. Of listening. Actually. I feel   it´s a question of connecting. To my Inner Self. The collective Self. Or to Spirit. Different sources, or maybe rather aspects of the same one source.

When I silence my self, words come to mind.  Sometimes when I write, I start writing quite fast, and only afterwards, when I read through it, do I discover there are rhythms and rhymes in the text, often some words stand out as old fashion or odd, words I don´t normally use…. I think this is inspired writing, from Spirit. Ancestors  or other helpers, on the other side of the veil of death. Yes I do. It´s not automatic writing. But it´s related to that expression, I think.  I´m often not the creator of what I write. I feel. I´m just tapping into the Source, allowing it through. Receiving end. This belief may be true or not, it´s not important to me, as it helps me not to worry about ego issues such as taking honour, or is it good enough, as I´m just letting it through. The quality is up to the sender, and up to the reader. I see myself as …. a medium… a piece in the middle… a bridge between.

Between what? Realms or dimensions? Probably. Between Inspiration and Expression. Content and Form.

Isn´t this fun?! Hahahaha…… Just take your self out of the equation. And there you are. Writing away, Free from inhibition. Just listen within. Without. Sit still. Stop thinking. And let it come through the receiver of you. That last line even rhymes, so it must be true.

🙂

I hope this post is more helpful than confusing? If not then I´m sorry about that. Maybe other people have better advice about the art of writing. I can only give you what I know.

I wish kids in school would learn more creative writing. How to use it to see their own thoughts on issues. Like write lists of pros and cons when they have to make a difficult decision. If you write down one point at the time, then when the mind can´t think of more plus or minus things about the situation in question, you have a sheet of paper in front of you that clearly visualizes that one side has more points than the other side. Or, if not, then use a neon marker and use it to highlight the five most important points to you, for example. Our minds are such great tools. Lightyears better than any computer.  Play with that brain. Use a pen to document what it says to you. Then analyze the result.

I do the same with emotional challenges. Always have done. When I feel strong, disturbing emotions, I grab a pen and paper (not a pc, pen works better for me), and I scribble all my thoughts and feelings down until I feel empty. After that, when my minds goes into loop and wants to repeat the entire tirade over again, I tell it to shut up and read through the written once again, adding if necessary. Then, a day or two later, my subconsciousness has digested some of the stuff in my sleep and I sit down and continue the text. I read through what I have written, and then I continue. And suddenly I find myself writing why I felt that way and what the deeper causes maybe could be, and suggestions to solving the situation… solutions…

I don´t know what that process is called. It´s a kind of self therapy maybe? Dialogue with myself… it helps me understand myself. And to let go of difficult emotions. Ex press. Press out. Kept within under lock, it will make me implode. Tension intensifies. Pressure builds up. Until I release it in writing. Or singing out loud. Dancing. Many ways.

I have always kept a diary. These days I keep a facebook status. And have a journal on the side, for emotional processes and ideas etc. I love facebook. Always wanted to make poster campaigns. Now I have a constant wall for poster campaigns! 🙂 Plus the chat. What a glorious age of communication we are living in.

One more tip just came to mind. Morning pages! I got that from a book on writing tips. You keep a notebook and pen on your bedside table. As soon as you wake up, you write down five pages. Every morning. Before getting up.  It does not matter what you write. Most of it may be silly nonsense, doesn´t matter. If you write “I don´t have a clue what to write” for five pages, it´s okay. It´s a way to train your brain. To stop staying in control of your inner flow coming through. As you wake up, you are still in close contact with your sub conscious. So it´s easier to tune into you intuition… often, I found that there would be a couple of pages of boring lines, then suddenly a paragraph or two of more inspired wordings… be it a poem or an anecdote or just sentences with rhythm or interesting viewpoints… Morning pages. Very good help.

What else. All in all it´s a matter of having a playful approach towards it. Don´t be serious and push yourself. Have fun with your mind, invite it to play games with your heart. Allow your inner voice to come out, without filter. Then you edit later. If you critisize as your write, then you stop the flow. In my opinion.

Find inspiration. Close your eyes and with your index finger on a written text, circle around and stop! And look. Which word is your finger pointing at, right there? Or is it just a letter? The letter L? Then write a list of ten words starting with L.  After that, write five sentence with five of the words.  Maybe it leads you somewhere interesting. Or maybe you got the word “simple”. Then write the word down. What comes after that? Ask within. Be quiet. Listen. It comes to mind.

Simple. As in going with the flow. Letting go. No rule. One word at the time. And it carries on until you feel it´s finished.  Simple!

Be in Joy – ed !

:0))

 

 

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Let It Come

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Allow me to start out today with the opening poem of my self published book from 2011                                                                                          (Heart Matters; Around Abouts and Previous Pieces):

 

Let It Come

Patrience – precious mode of being

Watching, waiting, feeling, seeing

Landscapes from an eagle´s view

The Flow will guide the Adventure of You

 

Yesterday I opened my blog, new post page…. and just sat staring at it. Completely empty inside. No word to be heard. Quite frightening! 🙂 So this morning I said to “My Self”; “Please help me know what to write about today, as I really would like to keep posting on a regular basis, a bit frequently, so new stuff pops up not too often but also not too many days apart…”

Immediately “Let it Come”  came to my mind. So here I am now.

I don´t have a clue what I will write after this sentence here now.

And this unknowing, having no idea what words will come the following moment, is the greatest both challenge of writing. And excitement as well. Just sitting, looking out the window. Listening to the birds. And suddenly something comes through. Love it.

It´s a bit like being alive in general. At least my life. Some people I guess plan their lives. I never did that. I just took one step at the time, letting my heart choose the direction. Studied one subject at the time at university (that´s how the system was back then). First I studied politics, found it dry and moved on to anthropology. Loved that, so I stayed for an extra semester. Then did media science, and their third semester was taught by famous Manchester anthropologist Graham Murdock, it was a course on Consumer Culture, so I did that semester too, though it was developing my degree width-wise, not the normal depth-wise… After that I took a semester of organizational psychology, because I always loved psychology and I could live off my student loan if I kept on studying.

Same with my love life. Met a Brit age 21, and moved to Wales a year later. Travelled around the world with him (quality control in the oil biz), and went back to uni from time to time to pass an exam. 6 years later we broke up, and I moved back to Bergen. Met a Dutch guy a year and a half later, moved in with him, moved back out 3 years later… Two exhausting breakups which I don´t want to dwell on more than to say I learnt a lot about what I want and don´t want in a relationship.

In 2005 I went to a kiromantic (hand reader) and asked him whether I was supposed to take my master degree in anthropology. He said: “What does your heart say? Does it become happy when you think about studying?” I said “No…. I don´t know… that´s why I ask you…” “Well, when your heart says I don´t know, that means you are in doubt, and doubt means simply “not now”. Maybe you will study later, but not now.”

I stared at him. I could actually feel that his answer was the right one for me. “You know,” he continued, “the heart speaks in only yes or no. Your intuition. It tells you whether to take a step forward or not to. So whenever you are in doubt, just ask your heart. Do I want this? Then notice your feeling. If it´s not a YES! feeling, then wait and see, then maybe later, but not now.”

That is a very useful thing he told me there. And now you know it too.

Why I talk about him now, is because he also taught me something essential about letting it come. He told me that one of my main challenges to grow through this lifetime, is to trust in Spirit. To rest assured that I am taken care of. When there is no work, and I don´t know what to do next… “It´s like your helpers are sitting on a fence, smiling at you, saying “you just do what you are supposed to do and we will take care of the rest!” He said…. “Your hand shows what we call bird feathers, a sign of being able to write. I think you should allow your love for writing to be your main focus. That and mothering. Move out of the video production community that you say is filled with drama between the participating people. Make a peaceful space for your mothering and your writing. You will be headhunted for projects, teachers will come to you when you need them to, things will happen in strange ways…”

Again I just stared at him. His words went straight to the core of my being. Things always seemed to happen to me the way he described. I once wished I had a job in a certain film documentary company, and a while after I expressed that wish to myself, I was hired as a director´s assistant in a cinema movie project, about refugees living in Norway, I worked there for 18 months! And that was just one recent example of many things synchronizing for me.

He read my palms, and taped the session on an old fashion cassette, that I could bring home. I listened to that tape probably about 100 times. It gave me a lot of strength. I was amazed at what he could tell me about myself from looking at my hands. His name was Kundan. Norwegian man. In case someone wants to try him.

Let it come… yes… It is not that easy, you know. Not to know where I will go, what to do, allowing stuff through, waiting for the next step. Then again, I´m getting better and better at it. I´m in such a period right now, where I have no income, and no sight of a regular job to apply for. Because I know in my heart I want my small kids to be in kindergarten only half time. 9-1pm. And this of course strongly limits my options, as if I get work on shore, the ferryride plus the waiting for the ferry and driving to the work place, will add an hour´s transport to each end of my working hours. Hence I will have to place them in all day kindergarten. And my heart just says no to that. My youngest is not even 3 yet. I know many people do it, and get used to it. But I´m just not … built that way? I have to go with my conviction.

When possible. Heaven knows I have worked in a fish factory one winter, in order to save up money so I could finally go to India! (Which didn´t happen after all, coz I suddenly met the Dutch guy, and then got the movie job almost simultaneously, and decided to stay in Bergen instead). Point is, I will make sacrifices when necessary. I´m not a spoilt princess afraid of work.

For now, I will keep them in kindergarten half time. I work on this blog, and if Luck strikes me, someone will contact me and want to pay me for advertizing on my site.

Secondly, I keep doing my training as a sound healer. I will make journals of 30 treatments before my exam in December. So this will lead to income in a while. My teacher is hitting Danish television as we speak, she’s been asked to appear on breakfast tv tomorrow, Saturday morning, and also to be a sound healing expert in an upcoming programme called “The Madsen brothers present the future”, where they will look at weird and wonderful new technologies and ways of life…. (They are shooting first episode today, I wish I could be in the audience but Copenhagen is 4 hours away from where I live…) So basically I expect sound healing to be quite popular and sought after pretty soon. I will just practice and get myself ready.

These are simply my two strategies. They don´t generate instant income. But I will let it come. I do trust that everything is as it is supposed to be, and when I tell the universe I am grateful for everything being taken care of, this has proved to work for me time and time again. It sounds peculiar, but. I ask and I receive. Mystical, magical and most mmmlovely it is.   🙂

Right. 1436 words. Pretty good for not knowing what the next word would be, when I started. Again, trust. Step aside and let it come. Allow it through. The only hurdle on your path is you. That is so funny and so annoying. But I guess it´s true.    🙂

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My Videopoems “Linking”

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This is the video installation “Linking” which I made in 2011, for an exhibition with the same title (only in Danish; “Kobling”).

I also released a book the day of the exhibition opening; 16.of April. “Heart Matters – a round abouts and previous pieces.”

The book script was the starting point of the project. I took the script to the local fine artist Margit Enggaard and asked her if she wanted to do something together. She did! 🙂

So she created wonderful, big, colourful paintings inspired by my poems. And I used the book script to make video pieces, filming her paintings and her gallery and using that on the visual side, with my reading of the poems, some turned into songs, on the sound side… I used photos of Margit´s paintings as illustrations in my book.

Apart from Margit´s painings and gallery, I filmed nature and sculptures in Denmark, Norway and Hastings, UK.

 

There are ten poems and five songs in the installation.

38 minutes long. Hope you enjoy it!

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