Category Archives: Uncategorized

Swirling

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I´m hanging out on my bed as I have for three days now. As I fell and hurt my left knee pretty badly. So I have borrowed some crutches & just keep still. Rather pleasant, I´m all for hibernation slow mode in wintertime.

My Facebook status right now:

Still in bed with my Wounded Knee… (Respect to the tribes murdered). Been surfing world wide these last couple of days. The waves within. The web between us. Connecting.

Found some interesting new Facebook groups. Collected a couple of pictures along the way, check this one out:

Very kool image, in my book… All these groups of people, like 100 000s of members… all talking about empathy, starseeds, intergalactic family…

Ascension… Revolutionary changing humanity…

Hmmm… interesting new ways of sharing information pieces in this WordPress update.

Oh well. I shall go to …. haha. I´m already in bed. Or on my flying carpet, as I call it. Ever since Monday afternoon. Now Thursday morning, 01 AM.

Think I´ll sleep now. Swirl off into theta then delta. Waving Goooood bye. 🙂

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Nathan Phillips: A leader.

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Rather shocking. I saw and shared this as well. Interview with the native American man after the incident:

I don´t really have much to add. These two video pieces speak volumes. I just came to the blog to say I share his fear for the upcoming generations. When respect, decency is such a lack, and when violence and racism has this deep a hold on the youth.

“Do as you want to be done by”.

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Christmas Greeting

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Merry christmas.

I´m at my mother´s, in her beautiful waterfront apartment on the west coast of Norway. Everyone else (2 adults and 3 children tonight, as some kids stay at my sister´s) is in bed. Just me and the christmas tree here, the sound of my typing mixing with the humming of the dishwasher.

Here´s a picture of the sunrise from my mom´s place, just outside the terrace door. I took it on the morning of 22. 12.:

In Norway the main celebration is on christmas eve, the 24. Traditional lamb ribs. Church some times, before dinner. Then after the meal, we open all the presents. We open them one by one, so we all can celebrate each present with eachother. Enjoy seeing the others receive, the look of happy surprise and gratitude on our loved ones´ faces. It takes all evening to open the presents this way. But to me this is THE  way to do it. 🙂

Today we continued the family gathering, more delicious food, board games. Kids went outside and played soccer. We watched a children´s movie. Some computer games, and playing with the toys unwrapped last night. Same procedure as every year. So safe and soothing. Predictable, pleasant. Friendliness. Catching up with our family members, as we live abroad it is not so often we get to see each other. Wonderful to see the strong ties between my sister´s kids and mine. Wonderful to speak my own dialect as well, and not have to think before I speak. Mother tongue. Swift and easy. So much depth in the internalized expressions. Which is lost in my Danish communication, as it is not so deeply integrated in me.

I just want to share this text with you, from Marianne Williamson´s Facebook wall. (I guess you´ve heard she runs for presidency? Very good news in my book).

Well. She posted Da Vinci´s painting of Jesus.:

With the following words:

“Mary was awakened from her slumber, as we all are. She was told to go to the roof, as we all are beckoned to higher consciousness. And there she was spoken to by an angel.

She was told the same thing that all of us are told: that God wants to enter us, to impregnate us, and to be born into the world through us. And we are asked to say yes, though we are free to say no. When we do say yes, in any moment or any hour when we allow love to have its way with us, to extend through us, to be born into the world in something that we think or say or do, we participate in a field of consciousness in which all of us are one. That field of our essential oneness is the field of our essential Self, the self we share, the Self that is God’s “one begotten Son.” This Self has many names and one of them is Jesus.

According to A Course in Miracles, he lived as a man but thought only the thoughts of heaven. Having achieved a fully self-actualized state – a state that is potential in all of us – he has been authorized by God, should we request it, to guide us as an elder brother on the path that he himself has walked. He is not looking for martyrs but for teachers, according to the Course. For those who love him, for those who know him, this is a special day of deep remembrance. His is a love that lies beyond this world and shatters its illusions. Miracles occur naturally in the presence of this love. All is forgiven. Darkness dissolves. And tears are wiped away. #salvatoremundi 

 

I just thought these words are really potent. So I felt to share them here, as a present to you blog readers. Words for meditation. Contemplation. in these days of slow time hibernation.

I wish for peaceful, joyful days for every one, this christmas season.

I leave you with clips from my daughter Lava´s concert with her choir, 14. of December. A very, very good choir. They actually won gold medals in the World Choir Games in South Africa this summer.

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Fanø Free Folk Festival # 8; Friday

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Hello y’all

Another year, another Fanø Free Folk Festival. A great privilege to have such an amazing festival happen annually on this tiny island where I have my home.

I organized my holiday so I returned just in time to get to the festival. To me it is a highlight of every Summer.

Enough about me, here is the first video I have made from the weekend, 21.-23. of July… The 8. time the Free Folk festival was held…

I managed to see all 7 gigs on the Friday. Some of the concerts are represented more than the others… it doesn´t mean I couldn´t have filmed all of everybody´s performances, they were all great.         Gotta keep the workload down a bit, though.
And some of my recordings are better quality than others… so.     That´s why the limelight is spread a bit unevenly between the artists.

I am no judgmental music journalist.
I just love to participate somehow, and to express and share feelgood-stuff.

Enough explainings.
Hope you enjoy the outcome!
Please comment if you feel so inclined, I am always open to listening and learning.

Lots of Love;
Lene.

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Non Violence will Change the World

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Hi folks.

This just moves me.

Thousands of people standing in complete silence in Turkey.

Protesting the stately surpression they suffer as a nation now.

I totally agree with Geliqua Amini.

And especially the last line gives me hope for the future.

Geliqua Amini
I går kl. 08:20 ·
No yelling. No screaming. No fighting.
A new form of protesting:
Thousands of people standing in complete silence, protesting in squares and public places in Turkey… baffling the police. Even creating a calm curiosity, instead of tension and aggression.

“Non-violence is the force that will change the world”

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Christmas Spirit?

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St. Lucia yesterday. 13/12. Where children, in Scandinavia at least, walk in a long line wearing white robes, carrying candles, singing a hymn to the light piercing the winter darkness…

Now it´s passed midnight and full moon. Was asleep but suddenly woke, wide awake.

There is a massacre in Aleppo, Syria.
Don´t worry, reader, I won´t go into detail. History will make sure we get all the fascist details. I hope. Because history is repeating itself, and will we ever learn from our violence against innocent civillians during war? We apparently need to live through and witness evil again and again.

We had the “election” in the USA recently as well. With Wikileaks releasing all those emails. That are being ignored!
And Julian Assange. Probably removed from the Equadorian embassy in police raid 16.of October. No one knows. Or. Cia does. But no proof of life is given, despite thousands asking for it every day on the Wikileaks Facebook page.

Parallell to this issue, which kept me up in the nights to watch new videos on youtube about it… we had DAPL, Dakota pipeline, where thousands of Native Americans and other peaceful water protectors were refusing to allow a pipeline to be built through their land, and the oil company had a police force shooting at them with water canons (in below zero temperatures), rubber bullets, attack them with dogs, arrest people and put them in cages… (!)…

The president let it go on for a long time. Then finally, after 2000 war veterans turned up at the camp to protect the civillians from being evicted from their own land… Finally Obama said the pipeline would be postponed, and that a study into environmental effects had to be done.
Well. Oil company sent the Indians a letter saying they might just go ahead anyway. So thousands are still going to be spending their winter there. If I didn´t have kids, and had the financial means, I would go there. They are writing history. Fronting the new direction. Of protecting Mother Earth and our Water. Leaving the oil age behind.

I´m sure I could go on to dozens more examples of … fascism.
Happening now as I type. The world seems to have gone off its hinges.
Stuff I have read about the 1930s is regaining validity in contemporary politics!

In Scandinavia the politicians are passing laws to take money from the poorest citizens, and give it in shape of tax relief to the richest citizens. !! ?? !!
Denmark has just recently taken away social security funds, and 15.000 more Danish kids are now below the poverty line. Homelessness is on rapid increase. Sick people are comitting suicide.
Off its hinges. Not an exaggeration.

Maybe in five years, it will feel normal? We can read about the “humanitarian era” in the history books.

It´s not too easy in this ideological climate, to find the calm warmth of heart and move into the christmas season with a smile and a carol, same procedure as every year, James.
Although with 3 kids, I go to a lot of family events focusing on Love.
I try my best, for them, to dwell on the childhood joys of christmas…

I seek comfort in guided meditations on Youtube, and webinars about Akashic Records, manifestation, hypnosis therapy, I listen to Abraham Hicks, and Doreen Virtue´s weekly oracle card readings…

May sound far out or whatever. Luckily it is only me that gets to decide what is meaningful and strengthening to me.

I don´t accept others´ judging of me. People who judge, are just not that intelligent. So I decide not to give them credit. Not even air time in my mind. Life is too short.

I work on accepting that my power over outer events is limited. And to change within, “to be the change I want to see in the world” (Gandhiji); focus on increasing my inner balance and to be a positive force in my life, for myself and all those whose lives I touch.

I should use photos and music in this blogpost. Lighten it up.
I think I will have to wait with that until tomorrow.
I read (and shared, of course) 5-6 facebook links on Aleppo before I went to bed. People sending their final goodbyes, saying the “soldiers” are just down the street and everywhere is dead bodies. I mean… Yeah, no. I promised you no details. You have probably seen enough of the disturbing images and videos yourself.

I shall see if I can sleep on it and then add some photos or sounds here  tomorrow. And then hopefully write another christmas spirit blogpost without a question mark behind it, describing this season of hearts in a more… optimistic way… Because optimism is the attitude of strength. Positive thinking is the healthy choice.

And so I finish this post with this positive thought:

There is nothing to worry about. Because as we know, we will all get to escape, to die and break free from this human race craze. One fine day.
And so it is.

——-
It´s two days later now, the 15.
Found a photo for the blogpost´s heading, finally! Feel empty, can´t think of anything else that would be apt, apart from those images of the bleeding children running through a street in Aleppo, a boy carrying his younger sister…

The only song I can think of, is this one.
“You do not deserve being my brothers in arms.”

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I stand by me

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image

Today I’ve felt a bit butterfly-bellied. 🙂
To stand up and claim a title like I did in yesterday’s post…
To a flowy piscean like myself, that’s a huge thing to do.
I feel a bit trapped by it.
I’ve been walking around thinking, “but I’m not a medium in the same way as others are…and I’m not just a medium, I also steer my own writing a lot of the time…”
I’ve been answering myself, that there are immense variations to mediumship, the point is the connection with Spirit.
Which I do have.

And yes, of course I am more than “just” a medium. Like the girl in this wonderful poster that came floating into my facebook stream today:

image

One can probably say an awful lot
about me and what I am and what I’m not.
The important opinion, though, is the one I’ve got.
Will not lay myself politely down to rot.

Need to stand up.
Be visible and clear.
No need to stop.
No need to fear.
Just stand tall and receive and pass on.
Contact and connect and have fun.

impress yourself only

People have always judged me, thought I’m weird.
I have taught myself not to care.
I sing in the streets, dance alone on a dancefloor,
no matter who I meet, I stay true to my core.
I strive for open mindedness, equality is my passion.
And now I’m forced to find a rhyme that ends up in a fashion.
I love to sing and dance and drum and I don’t make excuses
for who I am and what, what not, coz I’m the one who chooses.

I stand up to be counted, In-Betweener, this is me.
And to say it, is to own it, and it helps me to be free.
If the whole world turned against me,
I would still know it is true,
every word I have been thinking and I’ve published now to you.

choice

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The Clairvoyance School on Fanoe

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Dortea

This little island where I live. What has it NOT got? It has beautiful nature, artists and volunteers that create heaps of interesting cultural events, and of course it also has its own clairvoyance school. 🙂

When I first came here in 2007, I had just lost my beloved cat, Pyjamas. He was supposed to come with us to Denmark but he walked happily, straight-tailed outside in the rain three days before departure, which he never usually did. So I called for him after half an hour, and continued to search for him every hour until we went to the airport! He was gone.
It was a great loss. He was born in my flat, he was almost 4 years old, and we were very close. It saddened me, and worried me that he may be out in the woods where we lived, not finding food or shelter.

I talked about the loss of my cat to people I met on Fanoe. And three times, the person would say to me: “Have you talked to Dortea? The medium. She lives here. She connects with animals as well, you know.”

After the third time, I decided, fine. Dortea it is. And booked myself an appointment.
When the time arrived, I went to her tiny old house and sat in the hallway waiting for my turn. Soon a person came down the stairs, and passed me and left. Five minutes later, a woman came out from a door upstairs, greeted me with a big smile and asked me to come on up.

We sat down, and she asked me what my errand was. I told her I wanted to know if my cat was on the other side. She closed her eyes, we sat in silence for a couple of minutes, and then she said:
“But you have two cats!”
“Well…yes I guess I do…two brothers…the other one disappeared 5-6 months earlier…”
“Yes, because I get this other cat, telling me they were two. He´s a bit funny this one, there´s something strange about his tail…”
“Yes, he was a bit brain damaged or something. His tail was difficult to bend, for example if it was straight up and he walked under a table…” We laughed.
“This one is one the other side. Does your other cat have a big head?”
“Eh……?”
“The cat shows me a big head… but his ears were not so big, he says…”
“Hahahaha…. well…from Dizzy´s view, he would say that. Because his own head was small, and his ears very big! So yes, compared with him, one could say my other cat could be described that way. Much bigger head. And little ears. hahaha, yes…”
“He says that his brother is not on the other side. I get a feeling that he is fine, enhoying the woods. What´s the name of the cat your are searching for? Pyyyyhhhh…. Pyyyyyyssshhh…. I can´t get it….”
“Pyjamas.”

Yes. That was my first meeting with Dortea. I have since used her also for an alternative view on how to heal my pollen allergy. (She is a Steiner heilpraktiker too, wholistic Rudolf Steiner practitioner).

At the end of our sitting, I told her a little about myself, and said that I for many years had wanted to do an education in alternative medicine. “Well, you have come to the right place,” she said. “I hold courses, and I´m starting up a new class in January!” I felt a jolt inside. I took the leaflet she gave me, and told her I thought maybe I would be on that course, actually.

And yes I was. I have done five weekend courses with Dortea in all. (And three weekend courses with her teacher Val Williams from the U.K. as well, Dortea invites her over and shares her with her students once a year. But I´ll tell you about the courses with Val some other time).

The five courses… “Psychic abilities? 1-2-3” was the name of the first three. Then the fourth was called “Strengthening the contact” and the fifth course was called “Inspired creativity”.

The school at that time was built up of modules, and after eight modules one would have an exam where members of the Medium´s Union would be present, and after you showed them platform work and a private sitting, if you passed, you would be formally accepted as a qualified member of the union. Which is an important stamp of qualification in the field of Danish mediumship.

But I didn´t do 8 modules. Or I did actually. But the last 3 were with Val. Her teacher. So. No exam.
Why?
Because I felt that platform work was not my thing. To stand on a stage…deliver messages to people in the audience, from their belated relatives… A lot of pressure.
I was a lot more comfortable with the one to one sittings. Tuning into a person´s aura, and getting messages from the other side, nice and easy, sitting down, just the two of us.
But I felt that I was to stop. After those 8 times. Time for a change, or to digest the learnings for a while… yes, I just felt I was to stop. So I did.

But that does not mean the courses were not worth while to me. They were. Immensely. I learnt a lot about meditation, and Spirit, clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, clairknowing… intuition, aura… Ethics, how to communicate messages with care, always uplifting, rephrase if it came across from Spirit negative sounding, never give a devastating message…
And to be in a group was a lecture in its own right for me, I´m not normally a “group person”, but this was a group of people as quirky and weird as myself, what a relief it was to all of us to be together and feel normal for a change!
The most important thing I learnt, was to express freely. To say out loud what I felt to say, without filtering first.
“I see this old woman, she is like a cartoon character. She is sitting in a rocking chair. Now she gets up. She points with her walking stick on something up on a shelf, high high up on the wall. She says that just because it´s on the highest shelf, doesn´t mean that it´s something good!” ….eeeeehhh….does this make sense to you?!”
I asked my fellow student, we were practicing giving sittings. He nodded eagerly, big smile on his face. “That´s my aunt Wilma. Yes, it makes perfect sense!! Thank you!!”
🙂
We worked with personal belongings as well, holding it in our hand, writing down what came through. Then we read it out loud, and the person who owned the item verified and falsified the things we said about the item. (Like a ring or stone or…) Very exciting. And amazing how much of what came through was correct!
We did a special method of painting, and lots of different meditations and exercises. It was an oasis.
I learnt so much about both mediumship, and about myself. The group gave a wonderful mirror, and Dortea was a teacher full or humour, and very direct and honest, qualities I cherish.

When I started my education in vocal sound therapy, January 2014, I could really feel that the clairvoyance school had prepared me for it. If I had not had that schooling first, I am not sure I would have been able to cope with the sound course, in that big group, doing all those very challenging excercises and singing out in front of everybody…
Vocal sound therapy is about working with Spirit too. Letting light through, listening for resonnance, some practitioners use degrees of trance mediumship in their therapy… So I am being educated. And the clairvoyance school on Fanoe was a part of it. Or IS a part of it. Lately I have been feeling that I should join a course with Val and Dortea again. Last year there was no money. If there is money for it, I think I will join the course in August. I have developed a lot the last year, through my vocal sound therapy. It would be nice to approach Spirit through them two again, and really get an impression of where I stand now.

I have always been open minded. When I became a teenager, I started reading all the local library books about reincarnation, near death experiences, parapsychological phenomena… I have always felt a strong connection with Spirit. It is very…liberating…for me to go into these things and learn from others who have the same interests and abilities. I don´t regret my years of university studies at all, though. They were right for me too.
All knowledge aquired, is valuable. Shaping who I am, increasing my width and depth of understanding. Carl Gustav Jung talked about “the individuation proces”, the individual´s development of character, the creation of an integrated, whole human being. I love C.G.Jung. Very very wise man. Who also introduced the concept of synchronicity. The father of psycho analysis. Wrote about archetypes. Spoke about the meaning of death. He should be on the curriculum of every high school kid.

But okay. Curriculum. Another blogpost maybe. 🙂

Here is a video from Dortea´s Youtube channel. It´s in Danish, but I just want to give you an impression of her energy. She talks about her new education, called “Spiritual Consultant” or advisor…
I definitely recommend her. Both as a teacher in clairvoyance, and as a medium delivering messages.

Her slogan underneath her webpage photo on the top of this blogpost, says “Be authentic. Be you.”
To find out more or to contact her, go to www.Dortea.Dk

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Fanoe Wadden Sea Centre

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Fanø Vadehav Center

http://www.fanoe-vadehav-center.dk/

Yesterday I went to an opening. Of Fanoe Vadehav Center. Which means Fanoe Wadden Sea Center. Which lies on this little island Fanoe where I live. In the middle of The Wadden Sea National Park.

The new centre is actually an old nautical school. Which was closed in 2004.
And an Efterskole took over. (A kind of boarding school where teenagers stay for one year, see more info in the post “Danish “hygge” “). That school was closed in 2013.
And now it has been taken over by two partners who have hired a staff of seven people.
They have renovated one section of the school’s bedrooms already, and will use them as hotel rooms. Then there is the big kitchen, and the cafeteria space, where they will have a restaurant. They want to connect with businesses around Denmark, maybe abroad, and offer teambuilding programmes, conferences, workshops etc.

(You can read more on their website which I have linked to. It seems to only be available in Danish, but maybe they will include an English translation later, it says their homepage is work in progress, it will be developed in the time to come).

I went to the opening yesterday at four pm, and so did about 200 other locals! They were quite overwhelmed, the centre leaders said, that the centre has such a great interest in Fanoe´s population.
The two partners, a man and a woman, held an opening speech together, thanking the politicians and bank on Fanoe for the very constructive communication process that has led to the creation of the centre. Then Fanoe´s mayor held a speech and declared The Fanoe Wadden Sea Centre open.

We were allowed to walk around and look at the renovated section of bedrooms. They were painted all white, and had a maritime look, made to resemble cabins on a ship. Very cute and bright double rooms, with a view out to wide green fields, and there was a dark blue stripe across the white pillows, with white “navigation numbers” written across the blue…
(Pardon my ignorance, latitudes and lengthitudes, isn´t that what it´s called in proper sailor´s language? …Both my grand dads were chefs at sea, so I guess I should know this lingo a bit better, but. There you go, I don´t).
Very nicely designed, anyways, the renovated double rooms, and they definately had that cabin feel to them. Good attention to detail.

We also saw a classroom turned into a conference room, and workshop rooms, rooms for holding seminar meetings, and rooms that will be made available to rent for Fanoe´s many small businesses…. they explained to us that they do the renovation step by step, so it was only the first section of bedrooms that was finished yet.

It made me feel extremely happy to walk around in the school, peeping into all the different spaces.
There were signposts saying what each room was intended to be renovated into… the signposts were formulated with wit and creativity.
The employees of The Wadden Sea Centre in general, seem to be pleasant, informal, open minded people. The two caretakers are artists, and their funny, very colourful paintings are brightening up the school´s red brick walls at the moment…
I can imagine there may be opportunity for local artists to exhibit their work there at a later date, and it seems they are welcoming good ideas on a very broad scale, both for project development, co operation on workshops… what not what not. The sky is the limit.

It is so exciting! I love when old buildings are turned into “culture houses”. In Bergen, Norway where I lived for 15 years, we have USF; United Sardine Factories, an enormous building on the docks, which has been turned into a culture house with art studios, cinema, concert halls, café… film companies have their offices there, theatre groups, festivals have their offices there… and the art made in the studios is exhibited around the public areas of the house, in hallways and in show rooms… it´s such a lovely place. For four years I worked as a volunteer for Nattjazz, a brilliant, annual 11 days long jazz festival held at USF. I also worked for a year and a half in Piraya Film, which has its office at USF.
It´s a spring ritual for the citizens of Bergen to walk out to the old factory, get a café table in the sunshine on the dock, overlooking the fjord, and order a pint of local Hansa lager. And maybe a portion of those garlic marinated prawns. Oh no, I´m getting homesick now! 🙂

I am very excited about the new Wadden Sea Centre. I hope to get my fellow students of vocal sound therapy on board my idea of us booking ourselves into the cabins for a weekend next Summer. We are finished educated sound therapists by then, and we could probably really do with getting together and discussing our first six months of professional experiences.
Which place could be better for a meeting like that, than on Fanoe, where we can walk around and enjoy the forest, the beaches, a bike ride, the old quaint architecture, the high quality shops that sell designer knitwork and lots of other things, the beautiful glass blower workshop… our mainstreet has it all, the best butcher in Denmark, an excellent bakery, gourmet shops, restaurants and cafés, icecream to die for…
And every Wednesday night in July the main street turns into one bit town party, with live music everywhere and people make flee markets in their gardens, children can get a ride on a pony for free, there is wine tasting and pan cake tasting and… yes. It´s easy to understand why Fanoe is a favourite holiday destination for so many Danes and Germans. (Lots of people from other countries too, but these two nationalities are in majority).

I hope to get to know the people who run the centre, and with luck there will be projects we can co operate on.
Maybe I can be on a list of theirs as a vocal sound therapist, offered as a part of things to do while on Fanoe… or maybe I can be hired in as a video documentation maker… Maybe Kulturelt Samråd, a board I´m a member of, can co operate with the centre in some of our projects…
So far everything is possible. The centre will find its feet and form, and no matter if I will benefit from it work wise or not, I will certainly benefit from their existence just because the centre is promoting Fanoe. What is good for the development of our island, is good for each one of us who live here.

Yes!
Time will tell what will be. I can´t wait to see.

🙂

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Confidence & the lack of it

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Yesterday I felt stressed. I thought, what AM I going to write about on my blog next? And will I be able to keep up this pace, and keep writing things, and interesting things?

I have a few ideas about what I want to write about.
I want to show you my children´s kindergarten. Words and visuals. And I want to talk about my year in Bahrain, maybe some more about my years in Wales, my half a year in Lysoysund in Norway… There will be more posts about Servas, and about the process of building a blog. And I want to talk about my three experiences with natural birth giving.
But all these could be written in a week. And after that?

In my post “In trust I trust”, I wrote about having trust in fellow humans´ innocence and good intentions. And trusting in my intuition. I guess confidence has a lot to do with trusting in one´s own abilities.

What governs the level of confidence?
To an extent, our upbringing. Whether our parents gave enough praise, and apologized when they hurt our feelings so we didn´t grow a habit of thinking there´s something wrong with us.
“Am I good enough?” Is a question that many of us have with us from childhood, and work at moving beyond, throughout adulthood.
There are three more such “base feelings”, says Githa, my teacher in vocal sound therapy. (See the category “vocal sound therapy” for more info).

The four base feelings are:
I am not good enough
I am different
I don´t want to be here
I´m not welcome here

Some of these will resonnate more than the others, in each of us. But almost everyone has inner work to do with one or more of these questions. When we do the work, old traumas can loosen from our nervous systems and vanish. It is a great relief when it happens. It´s one of the things we work towards with our therapy method.

Confidence. Today I feel confident. Though yesterday I was doubtful. Why like this?!

Is it the moon?
Or biorhythms?
(Biorhythms was a very popular concept in the 80s, I haven´t heard them mentioned for a decade or two, don´t know if the concept is still in use…)

I feel certain it has something to do with me going to bed early last night, and gaining a good night´s sleep. Alfa.
The Omega, then would be food, physical nutrition. Which we generally take good care of in my home.

And then there is the issue of trust. In my abilities.
Plus trust in getting help from Life. The UniVerse. Higher forces. God, if that´s your preferred name for it. The Light. Trusting in Inspiration.

I am not a religios person, but I am a spiritual one.
I see myself as a spiritual being, having a human experience.
(Which is a line in my exit song, in my videopoetry installation blogpost “Linking”).

I trust that Life will help me find issues to write about.
I do. Like this morning, walking home from the kindergarten, I thought to myself that I feel better today than yesterday, it´s like I´m more confident… and BOOFF. “Confidence”, I thought. “Good blog title”.

Some days I´m confident to a strong degree. Other days I´m not. Maybe it´s the same for everyone? I don´t know.
All the blog comments gave me heaps of confidence that I can make money on this activity. That there is a real audience out there, who appreciate the content of this blog.
Then I installed a spam filter. BAM. No more comments!!

But my blog HAS been shared on Bloglovin and on Delicious.
It has doubled and tripled every month as I´ve typed along. And March has been the wildest month so far. 13.000 visitors now. About 10.000 of them have been in March!!

I have advertized, and managed to find a person who will come and help me with plugin issues, and help me install an advert or two plus a donation button.
After that, I can get an idea about whether it´s realistic I can be a moneymaking blogger or not. It would be such a tremendously perfect thing for me if I could/can.
Time will tell.
I am grateful I have now found a person who knows my technical systems and can straighten things out so everything works, and I get a better understanding of the frameworks of blogging.
It is an important investment. I don´t really have the money to invest, but. I´m trusting it will be a survivable expense, and give payback.

Confidence.
It´s about our convictions as well, isn´t it. What we believe to be true. Consciously or subconsciously. Our theories about how the world works. Our perceptions of reality.
One of my convictions, for example, which I am trying to stop believing in, is:

“I can´t do that, because I don´t have the official qualification for it. I´m not educated.”

or these ones:

“One shouldn´t help oneself to things, it is rude and greedy.”

“To be quiet and modest is the best behaviour.”

“There are so many other great writers, and books, blogs, films and music albums out there, there is no need for me to publish things as well. What can I possibly add that isn´t already covered by someone else.”

It´s a good thing I can spot these convictions. And that I don´t believe fully in them. They get me down from time to time, but they haven´t stopped me. I have published a book, and a film where I also sing in public, I´ve made videowork for an app and edited tv programmes, and now I´m crafting this blog. (And yes, I do have plans for making an album slowly but surely, with the 5 songs from my videopoem installation plus 5-7 more songs, most of which I have yet to create).

I work at my inner dialogue, talking against my convictions, and changing them, so my convictions become a support for my vision of a financially fulfilling future.

I also spend energy on healing old wounds, rewriting my history, my understanding of events in my past, to focus on the positive consequences instead of the wounds they gave me.
For example, things have happened to me, that have given me a greater understanding about some kinds of pain, so I have more empathy for others in similar situations.
And I have gained humbleness, I have learnt there are limits, that I have to look after the needs of my body, and the needs of my self image. To draw the line for how far I allow people to treat me badly, for example…
Deal breakers, as Dr.Phil calls them. The points that mean a relationship is over. The point where I stop trying and walk away.
For example violence. Not just physical, but also emotional violence. I have taken too much of that in my past relationships. I won´t again. Ever.

I work on my convictions, and on healing myself, freeing myself from old hurt feelings.
And I try to create myself a source of income through actions. Through practicing sound therapy towards my exam, and through continuing this blogging.

Confidence.
Is there a song that can illustrate it for us, increase the strength of the words, add a feeling?

Mika. I love many of his songs.
These tracks give me a beat I associate with the energy of confidence. Upbeat, positive. Happy, steady pace.
And the lyrics of Relax cling true to me.

One more musicvideo. With Conchita Wurst.
Who won the European Song Contest, wasn´t it last year?
From Austria. I have seldom been so moved.
She really touched the hearts of so many of us. And she received the love she deserved, she won!
It made me feel very… grateful.
She had the confidence to stand up, and her confidence was rewarded. Her talent and beauty was recognized.

(Ps check out more of those song contest videos from 2014 and watch her receive top score after top score. Goosebumpy stuff)!

Rise like a phoenix, everybody!
Let´s all be confident! 🙂

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