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Confidence & the lack of it


Yesterday I felt stressed. I thought, what AM I going to write about on my blog next? And will I be able to keep up this pace, and keep writing things, and interesting things?

I have a few ideas about what I want to write about.
I want to show you my children´s kindergarten. Words and visuals. And I want to talk about my year in Bahrain, maybe some more about my years in Wales, my half a year in Lysoysund in Norway… There will be more posts about Servas, and about the process of building a blog. And I want to talk about my three experiences with natural birth giving.
But all these could be written in a week. And after that?

In my post “In trust I trust”, I wrote about having trust in fellow humans´ innocence and good intentions. And trusting in my intuition. I guess confidence has a lot to do with trusting in one´s own abilities.

What governs the level of confidence?
To an extent, our upbringing. Whether our parents gave enough praise, and apologized when they hurt our feelings so we didn´t grow a habit of thinking there´s something wrong with us.
“Am I good enough?” Is a question that many of us have with us from childhood, and work at moving beyond, throughout adulthood.
There are three more such “base feelings”, says Githa, my teacher in vocal sound therapy. (See the category “vocal sound therapy” for more info).

The four base feelings are:
I am not good enough
I am different
I don´t want to be here
I´m not welcome here

Some of these will resonnate more than the others, in each of us. But almost everyone has inner work to do with one or more of these questions. When we do the work, old traumas can loosen from our nervous systems and vanish. It is a great relief when it happens. It´s one of the things we work towards with our therapy method.

Confidence. Today I feel confident. Though yesterday I was doubtful. Why like this?!

Is it the moon?
Or biorhythms?
(Biorhythms was a very popular concept in the 80s, I haven´t heard them mentioned for a decade or two, don´t know if the concept is still in use…)

I feel certain it has something to do with me going to bed early last night, and gaining a good night´s sleep. Alfa.
The Omega, then would be food, physical nutrition. Which we generally take good care of in my home.

And then there is the issue of trust. In my abilities.
Plus trust in getting help from Life. The UniVerse. Higher forces. God, if that´s your preferred name for it. The Light. Trusting in Inspiration.

I am not a religios person, but I am a spiritual one.
I see myself as a spiritual being, having a human experience.
(Which is a line in my exit song, in my videopoetry installation blogpost “Linking”).

I trust that Life will help me find issues to write about.
I do. Like this morning, walking home from the kindergarten, I thought to myself that I feel better today than yesterday, it´s like I´m more confident… and BOOFF. “Confidence”, I thought. “Good blog title”.

Some days I´m confident to a strong degree. Other days I´m not. Maybe it´s the same for everyone? I don´t know.
All the blog comments gave me heaps of confidence that I can make money on this activity. That there is a real audience out there, who appreciate the content of this blog.
Then I installed a spam filter. BAM. No more comments!!

But my blog HAS been shared on Bloglovin and on Delicious.
It has doubled and tripled every month as I´ve typed along. And March has been the wildest month so far. 13.000 visitors now. About 10.000 of them have been in March!!

I have advertized, and managed to find a person who will come and help me with plugin issues, and help me install an advert or two plus a donation button.
After that, I can get an idea about whether it´s realistic I can be a moneymaking blogger or not. It would be such a tremendously perfect thing for me if I could/can.
Time will tell.
I am grateful I have now found a person who knows my technical systems and can straighten things out so everything works, and I get a better understanding of the frameworks of blogging.
It is an important investment. I don´t really have the money to invest, but. I´m trusting it will be a survivable expense, and give payback.

It´s about our convictions as well, isn´t it. What we believe to be true. Consciously or subconsciously. Our theories about how the world works. Our perceptions of reality.
One of my convictions, for example, which I am trying to stop believing in, is:

“I can´t do that, because I don´t have the official qualification for it. I´m not educated.”

or these ones:

“One shouldn´t help oneself to things, it is rude and greedy.”

“To be quiet and modest is the best behaviour.”

“There are so many other great writers, and books, blogs, films and music albums out there, there is no need for me to publish things as well. What can I possibly add that isn´t already covered by someone else.”

It´s a good thing I can spot these convictions. And that I don´t believe fully in them. They get me down from time to time, but they haven´t stopped me. I have published a book, and a film where I also sing in public, I´ve made videowork for an app and edited tv programmes, and now I´m crafting this blog. (And yes, I do have plans for making an album slowly but surely, with the 5 songs from my videopoem installation plus 5-7 more songs, most of which I have yet to create).

I work at my inner dialogue, talking against my convictions, and changing them, so my convictions become a support for my vision of a financially fulfilling future.

I also spend energy on healing old wounds, rewriting my history, my understanding of events in my past, to focus on the positive consequences instead of the wounds they gave me.
For example, things have happened to me, that have given me a greater understanding about some kinds of pain, so I have more empathy for others in similar situations.
And I have gained humbleness, I have learnt there are limits, that I have to look after the needs of my body, and the needs of my self image. To draw the line for how far I allow people to treat me badly, for example…
Deal breakers, as Dr.Phil calls them. The points that mean a relationship is over. The point where I stop trying and walk away.
For example violence. Not just physical, but also emotional violence. I have taken too much of that in my past relationships. I won´t again. Ever.

I work on my convictions, and on healing myself, freeing myself from old hurt feelings.
And I try to create myself a source of income through actions. Through practicing sound therapy towards my exam, and through continuing this blogging.

Is there a song that can illustrate it for us, increase the strength of the words, add a feeling?

Mika. I love many of his songs.
These tracks give me a beat I associate with the energy of confidence. Upbeat, positive. Happy, steady pace.
And the lyrics of Relax cling true to me.

One more musicvideo. With Conchita Wurst.
Who won the European Song Contest, wasn´t it last year?
From Austria. I have seldom been so moved.
She really touched the hearts of so many of us. And she received the love she deserved, she won!
It made me feel very… grateful.
She had the confidence to stand up, and her confidence was rewarded. Her talent and beauty was recognized.

(Ps check out more of those song contest videos from 2014 and watch her receive top score after top score. Goosebumpy stuff)!

Rise like a phoenix, everybody!
Let´s all be confident! 🙂


Family Quality Time


Remember this song? It was a big pophit in Norway back in… 2005? Or 2006. Back then I had one of those “jumping-seats” installed in the ceiling of the front room of my tiny flat. And every early evening I would sit my oneyearold daughter in it, and I would put on Schnappi and other up-beat-songs which I had put together on a minidisc, and she would be jumping and I would be dancing, and thus we shared some quality time together right there, laughing and junmping, dancing and singing, every early evening before bedtime.

Quite clever what he´s done in that clip, bytheway. Translated the German lyrics into English. The original video is funny too. Cartoon. Good stuff.

Quality time. It is a much used concept in Scanidnavia these days. Don´t know if it can be translated directly, but. It means to REALLY be together, have fun together or feel close to eachother as a family. When everyday life becomes a juggling puzzle of two fulltime jobs, and school and kindergarten, plus spare time activities such as soccer or horseriding, times x according to the number of children in the family… then when the weekend comes, families often feel like they have to catch up, do something special together, as there was no time for anything but dinner and bedtime in the week that passed. And the week ahead will be the same. Until next school holiday.

Many families then go out, to some organized play space for children. Or they go for a picnic. They plan and structure their weekend.
I am different.
First, I stay at home. So my 3- and 5-yearold only stay half time on kindergarten. They are tired when I pick them up at 1 pm. They want a cup of cocoa and a dvd, Then they chill on the sofa, sometimes take a nap there. After an hour or so, they start playing together, or a neighbour child comes to visit. So everyday life is not so tough on them.

I don´t mean that other families do something wrong. Children are adaptable, they get used to long kindergarten days. And many don´t feel they have the choice to stay at home. Financial pressure.
We can´t really afford it anylonger either. I used to get a small amount from the local council for staying at home with the young, but now that support isn´t there anymore. We survive on my husband´s music teacher job (in a college, teaching future kindergarten teachers how to use music in their work)… but we definately need more money.
It will come, I am not worried.
Through this blog, through my sound therapy, or through me taking some kind of job.

But this was not my focus today, when I say I´m different. Yes, I stay at home and prioritize free time over money. But what is more important here, is that I understand the concept of quality time differently from most people.

Because I don´t feel that the children need to get out and about and do stuff all the time when the weekend comes.
I feel it is more important for them to relax. To not have to rush, for some set deadline like they do in the weekdays, be it the fruit meal in the kindergarten or time to cook dinner, pick up groceries etc.
My kind of quality time involves slow mornings, big brunches, a bath-tub-session if they suddenly say they want that. Sometimes we go to the woods, or to see a play in a Children´s theatre, or a concert… but normally not early in the day. Afternoons are better.
We used to go and visit grandma a lot. She lived on Rømø, another Danish island an hour´s drive away, in a little house in the woods. Peaceful and always so cosy to spend time with her, around meals, around the guitar, and enjoying the children together. We miss that. A lot.

But yesterday! We had an ace Family Quality Time day, and that is what has inspired me to choose this blog title today.

We had visitors. Simply.
A guy that sings in my husband´s bigband, and his wife and their three sons age 11, 8 and 6. (Their daughter who is 15 could alas not come along yesterday).
They arrived at noon, and we had lunch ready. Kids were served first, as our kitchen table isn´t so big. The six of them ate together, and then us four grownups afterwards, while the kids played piano, and whatever, around the house.

After tanking up, the fathers took the kids to a wonderful playground in the forest. While us mothers did a sound healing session. It was marvellous for me. She was happy too. 🙂 Very exciting actually.
After an hour, the daddies and kids returned and we just hung out. It was so nice to watch the children approach eachother and bond. They know eachother from before, but it´s been quite a while since our last hangout.
We left them mainly to themselves, whilst we hung out in the kitchen where my husband was turning the room into a pizza bakery! He had bought 6 or 8 pieces of dough from Jimmy pizzaman around the corner, and chopped up lots of different topping items. Then the kids were called in, one by one, to make a pizza. They loved it, and they impressed me. Very tasty indeed, and with appetizing patterns of mushrooms and tomatoes and stuff. And every child had a pizza exactly to his or her taste as well.
After eating, I took the other mama with me out into my listeninghut in the garden. Plus two glasses and a bottle of wine. So we sat in here, listened to a minidisc from the 90s and had a good talk like us women enjoy so much.
Ten passed ten pm they caought the ferry back to their car on the mainland, then they drove for 40 minutes, and were back at their wonderful farm. They would have stayed the night at ours, but they have a very pregnant horse, so they wanted to get home in case she gave birth last night.

Yes. That´s what family quality time looks like to me.
Amongst many other things. But just to be with others who have kids as well, share the joys of having children, enjoy seeing them get to know eachother, and with four adults present there is space for some fun conversations and twosome activities for the grownups as well.

As soon as their baby horse comes out into the world, they will call us and we will go visit them. Their sheep is pregnant as well, so I hope we´ll get to see the lambs too… It is such a gift to have someone to visit that live not far away, but the driving there is an additional treat, the little ones take a nap and we put a cd on and sing together in the car… Gosh this sounds so romantic, hahaha…

I am so grateful to know these people. My 10yearold daughter is crazy about horses, and the mama of our friend family there has had horses all her life… she brought her a pair of riding trousers yesterday, and a riding coat and some brushes and a rope. The smile on my daughter´s face…
So heartwarming to see.

The bigband that my husband conducts, is just such a special asset in my life. You can read more about it in the blogpost Not Big Bot Band.
It´s about a meeting and party we had with the band a month ago. Actually at our friends´ farm. No kids that time. Just 28 adults, merrily singing and dancing and eating together. Every time they have played enough gigs, they go travelling together. Bringing their partners and kids if they want. Last easter we spent together with the Not Big Bots in a casa with a pool in Fuengirola, outside of Malaga in Spain.
Autumn 2008 we went to Florida together.
Holiday Inn on Cocoa Beach. Disney World and Kennedy Space Centre and Swamp boat riding, watching alligators… Discovering Red Lobster and Denny´s and…right across the street from our Holiday Inn there was one of the best sushi restaurants I have EVER been to… totally anonymous looking by the main road there…

Yeah. Quality time.
Some times it includes travelling. Some times it means a plastic splashing pool in the garden and us all sleeping in a tent out in our garden… when the youngest is very little, it needs to be easy to remain fun for all…

Of course we go to Legoland and other themeparks, (Legoland is quite near to where we live, so we know that place quite well), we go to the public swimming hall, where they have hot water pools as well, steam sauna, jaccuzies, wave machines and slides for toddlers and for bigger people…

But some of the best weekends we have as a family, is when we don´t plan anything, we just spend the time as if it never ran out, follow the children´s wishes for some piano playing or apple tree climbing, just.
Being. Together. Not focusing on any doing.

Some children get stressed these days. I reckon what they need when their weeks are so busy, is to be allowed to rest. To stop running after the clock. Be in their pyjamas until early afternoon if they want.
Be, just be.
Until they get bored. And allow them to be bored.
Because that´s when they suddenly feel the need to get creative. To use their minds to activate themselves, come up with an idea for making some fun.

Yes we do have an Ipad. But only one, so they have to share it. From time to time the charger breaks. And I have to go with the ferry to the mainland to get a new charger. So it often takes me some weeks to do that. In the mean time they don´t really mention the Ipad. They just accept it´s not an option. I really enjoy seeing that they deal with it that way. Because there are times when they find it difficult to share it, they all want to play with it all the time.

My kids also love movies. We have quite a lot of movies. I buy good films, that I don´t mind them seeing over and over again, like kids do. I don´t think Disney Channel is good enough. Nor the Danish children´s tv channel. Or they are good enough for watching a programme or two. But.
Movies are different.
Astrid LIndgrens films, for example. Swedish author, wrote Pippi Longstocking for example, about a girl age about 9 who lives alone in a big villa with her monkey and her horse (!) , she is the strongest person in the world so she throws thieves up in a lamp post if it´s needed… A true superhero. She´s god a suitcase full of gold coins, and her father is a captain on a ship far away, one time she has to go save him from pirates…
My kids love Miyazakis´s animation films, Japanese. Fantastic films, both in form and content.
And they love the animation films about the tiny African boy Kirikou, and the film Azur and Asmar, all made by the same French animation company…
They get to chill on the sofa and watch movies. In Denmark it is cold, windy and dark outside, from October until March/April. In the Summer, not a lot of movietime.
In winter, quite a lot, but of course not limitless.
I find they naturally get up and start doing other things after a movie. If they don´t, then at some point we switch the tv off, and make a break.
I´m not worried about their use of screens for entertainment. As long as 1; it is quality they are spending their time watching. Or good games like Minecraft or Wii dancing or Supermario, stuff like that, non violent…
And 2; as long as it´s not too much time spent in front of screens, that they are physically active as well, and play more active games with eachother.
For my three, it doesn´t seem be a problem to find a healthy balance. For other children, other rules may be necessary.

Right. I think I have covered what I wanted to include about family quality time.
Maybe I can just add that my husband and I also make sure that there is quality alone time for each of us adults. It makes us better parents, knowing that he will play badminton tonight, or go watch a football match at the stadium. And for me to go to board meetings, and sit out here in my listening hut, do guided meditations…go to the jamsession at the local once a month, or a poetry reading on the mainland…
What we need to get a bit better at, is to make quality time for the two of us as a couple. But it´s getting easier now that our youngest just turned three. We can now go away without the three gems.
And we do also get good conversations in, or watch a documentary together and similar easy stuff, the nights when we don´t fall asleep exhausted, together with the children! 🙂

I never planned to have a family. My first child just happened. My second was planned. And my third just happened. And here we are now, a whole bunch of five!
I have a half Caribbean daughter, and two blonde Scandinavian little ones. There are sisters with 5 years´ agedifference, both of them with curly hair, one dark and one almost white haired, I call them my Yin and Yang…
And then there is a bit less than two years between the middle sister and the little brother. (He´s got long, straight hair, no curles).
So I really have got everything a social psychology loving mother can use to learn about life. 🙂
A mulatto´s path, the issues of identity are special there. Sisterhood.
The big age difference (which I am used to from my own siblings, sisters 6 years and 12 years my junior), plus the little age difference…

I love being in charge of this family, together with my husband. And of course, the core also includes his adult children. Five siblings in all.
“A together-brought family” we call it in Danish.
The kids that are not biologically linked to oneself, we call “bonus children”. Isn´t that a nice term for it?
And they truely are a bonus to me, his grown kids.
Very loving and wise young people. Creative and honest too. With wonderful life partners, and there is even a grandson in our core now! He will be two in September. His uncle, my youngest, just turned three. It will be so much fun to watch them connect in the years to come.

Lucky is my middle name.
Family Quality Time.
I am truely a very rich lady.

Let me finish with the song that my eldest child was born to. It was in a natural birth clinic in Bergen in 2004. I brought my ghettoblaster and my minidisc mixtapes. We arrived at the clinic at midnight. And she was born 02.34 am. At that moment, this song was in the room with us:


Blog Technicalities


A lot of you readers ask me about what platform I use, what host I have, you say it looks great the design, and it loads quickly.

Well. I use WordPress. My darling husband set it up for me through the web hotel where I already have a domain. I think it is called Surftown. (Don´t hang me if I´m wrong)!

The design is just one of the free themes one can choose in WordPress. I clicked one, and then clicked one more time for colour scheme, and voila. There is was, all ready allright. Sweet delight.

WordPress is free as well. I don´t know how difficult it is to install, but you can find many videos about it on Youtube.

Then you can install plugins. Also for free.
I have one called Count per day, which tells me about how many readers I have and where they come from.

I have installed a plugin to import my comments from Facebook. It doesn´t seem to work, though. I don´t know why.

I also have a spamfilter plugin. But it is so efficient that I remove it the days I can deal with trashing the spam. I would like a spamfilter that did not filter out EVERY comment in the universe. I need help with this.

I have installed something which can make photo albums. I just don´t get how it works. Yet.

Today I have created myself a username in a forum for online business people, and placed an add for a “WordPress Genie”; someone who can come to my house and sell me 2-3 hours of WordPress help!

Because I desperately just want it to work, GodBlessIt.
I want to install a Donation Button, so readers can send me a quid or two if they feel like it. And I want Google Adsense to install an advert (a non disturbing one), so that I can earn money on blogging.

As you might know, I have no income at all right now.
I am half way through an education to be a vocal sound therapist (Check out the post “Vocal sound therapy”, or “My soundhealer inauguration” or “Introducing: Githa Ben-David” for more info on that issue)…
And I have three children to take care of, and we need to travel to Norway this Summer and see our family there… (Which I´m sure you know, is an extremely expensive little country ot spend holdiay money in…)

So I just want these technical issues to be dealt with NOW.
And I have tried my best. And not been able to solve it myself.


So now I told you how I got to have this blog. WordPress has got 17-20% of the market, it runs that many web sites. I just heard, in this Youtube tutorial.

I just tried to authenticate my google account for the plugin Google Analytics. Only it won´t let me save the settings. So I have spent an hour trying to find out why. Through Googling Google Analytics. BIIIIIIG SIIIIIIIGH.

No luck.

I am not a technicality dumbass though. I have made many tv-programmes, for example. Shooting video and editing. Check out my videopoems, they are in the blogpost “Linking, my videopoems installation”. (Or similar title).
I have also self published a book.

But this plugin business, and this adsense nonsense… Yeah. I´m searching for a WordPress Genie to come show me the way.

At least, while I´m waiting to be set up for the possibility of earning money on this activity, plus to have comments that is a mixture of Facebook comments and direct blog reader comments, without spam glam (wordplay on glam rock, which is quite full of sparks and glitter in their costumes, for example Marc Bolan… So are the spammers´comments, they really spark and shine, it´s such a shame all that amazingly positive feedback isn´t true, hahaha…)!

Luckily I have a friend in Australia, who knows some things about blogging and spamming and stuff, so I will read up on the info she has told me to check out. (Thank you, Miriam)!

Seems I need to spend some time finding out a lot of things about WordPress. I just don´t have that time. I barely have time to update my blog and practice my sound therapy for my exams. Kids take a LOT of focus. As all you parents out there know. 🙂 They need it and they deserve it. Don´t mean to complaint. At all. It just means research time is scarce.

That´s why I am searching for a WordPress Angel. I will pay for a couple of hours, out of my empty pocket. So that I can install moneymaking things on this site, and get to see if it can be a source of income for my family. It would be bliss if it could.

(I wanted to put a video with the Danish band Bliss here, but the music was a bit too meditative (yet beautiful, check it out) for here and now, so I found one of my other favourite songs instead.
Eurithmics. OhYeah.
There must be an angel. A WordPress Angel.
Who will come and play with my Heart Matters.
And push my plugin buttons. Hehehe…

See you later. I will try to post another post later today, or tomorrow morning. One not about techinical frustrations.
But it was nice to get this off my chest.
And I hope you commenters get some answers our of this, that you can use in your attempt to create yourselves a blog of your own.
For tips on writing in general, check out my post called “Tips on Writing”. 🙂 Happy weekending, friends!





This wonderful man is Friedensreich Hundertwasser from Austria. He is one of my absolute favourites as an artist, architect and thinker.
He lived on a houseboat named Regentag (Rainyday). He had a manifesto against using straight lines in his paintings and architecture. He was far before his time when it came to thinking about the environment and ecological considerations.

There is so much to say about him. He is illustrating my blogpost about clothes because he made his own, he even made his own shoes.
But more than that, he said that the human being has got five skins.
1.The individual human body´s skin
2.The clothes you choose to put on
3.The house you live in
4.The country you live in, or your social network
5.The Earth

We live within each and all of these zones. They mirror us, they are central in us forming ourselves an identity.

A lot can be said about clothes and identity. Uniforms, signs that tell the world you belong to a group…security needles signifying anarchism, punk rock…tie dye and bell bottomed jeans and suddenly you are seen as a hippy, white shirt and tie there goes an office worker, a loyal servant of the state… we read these signs subconsciously, and we are probably way too quick at generalizing, judging, thinking we know a lot about a person just from the clothes he or she is wearing.
A lot of the time there will be some truth to our generalizations. But not always. And never the full truth. A human being is far too complex to be categorized from just looking at the clothes.

Myself, what do I wear?
I often choose the day´s outfit from an intuitive need for a colour.
I will reach for the purple, or the green, blue, dark orange… sometimes red. Hardly ever yellow. Sometimes anonymous stuff like grey or black. Don´t have much brown. Not much white either.

Apart from colour, I dress for the occasion. A touch of formal elegance when I feel it will gain me. Other days I feel in the mood to wear my cheaky, very worn light blue jeans, with a hole on the right knee.
Most days, as I have the priviledge of working at home, I choose something comfortable, that does not cling to my body or feel tight around my waist. Wide pants, topped with a tunika. Or wooly jumper. Colourful scarf.

I like wide, relaxed dresses, in soft textiles. But I absolutely HATE IT when a skirt decides the ways I can sit or walk, small steps and polite leg crossing isn´t my forte…
I like to feel free. To sit in a lotus on the chair while I eat.

So no. I don´t wear high heels either. Sure I can see they make me look taller, and wearing them straightens my back somehow. But honestly I prefer stilts. I´m quite good at stilts. It´s a fun challenge. For half an hour. Whilst tip toing on high heels for hours on end… all my weight resting on my poor toes, squeezed into those far too narrow shoes… no thanks. I can´t run after a bus either, in “shoes” like that! Can´t dance properly. Simply a restraint of movement. Is how they feel. To me.

I respect every person´s choice of clothes. Don´t get me wrong.
I don´t pay much attention to what people wear. I do notice, when someone shows a nice sense of colour combination. When someone´s outfit shows a sense of humour or a political attitude.

Saturday morning, I was making my way through Copenhagen on the metro and train, to get to my course. (See the post Vocal Sound Therapy for more info). It was 08.30 in the morning, so not a lot of traffic. I looked around at people as I strolled, and was surprised. Everybody was wearing black coats! Really! I counted eight people on bikes who passed me. All in black! I kept looking around. Even young Africans were wearing black overcoats. Amazing.
After a few minutes I realized it was not 100%. Thank Goodness. But ok, 85%, then. How did they all come to his agreement? My dark purple coat suddenly seemed very colourful in these surroundings!
Is it because it is a big city? They all wear black because it feels nice and anonymous? They don´t want to disturb eachother by being too visible?
Is black the new… black? Is it the same in all cities?
Black on black… that was a great song, from the late eighties. Dalbello. Interesting woman.

Yeah, identity… Since Elvis came around in the 50s, we have used music genres in our self definitions.
Am I a rock´n roller? (If there is such a term)?
Well yes I guess. The Rolling Stones, Little Steven, Queens of the Stone Age, the Clash…
But I love pop music more maybe. Or is it funk? Prince, Culture Club… The Kinks, Beatles, Beach boys, Radiohead, Michael Jackson as well… so many…
And more than that do I love old school reggae from Studio One, Jackie Mittoo, Lee Perry (I guess that´s more dub), Peter Tosh…
Oh but where to put Marianne Faithfull, Leonard Cohen, Pink Floyd, Nina Simone, Snatam Kaur…
What is such a taste as mine, called?

I am a musiclover. Will that do? I share many hippy values, but not all of them. I have sympathies for punk philosophy too. A bit.
I am a rebel. Against non peacefulness. For justice, freedom and equality. Solidarity, compassion and brothersisterhood.
I don´t know if there is a label for my kind. I don´t feel that I need a label, though, so. No worries.

When I was younger, meaning until I had my first baby (age 32), I always wore jeans and a t-shirt. Different jeans, different t-shirts. But 99% of the time, these items of clothing. My body was slim, athletic and pretty perfect, in my view. I felt at ease in jeans and a t-shirt.

I used to go out dancing a lot. Many times I would be driving home afterwards. So I didn´t drink. I never do when I drive. Don´t want to cause someone´s death. Simple as that. I respect traffic rules.

I remember one time I went to the disco straight from a christmas family party. I was wearing a red dress.
The next day I told my family I had not been left alone for a minute at the disco, lots of men asked me to dance all the time! My mother said with a smile that “yes, men do like women who dress up”. And I had to explain to her that I was not interested in men who came running after me because they could see my legs. I was interested in the 2-3 guys who would approach me when I was in my jeans and t-shirt. Those who could see my personality, not just my clothes and my body.

I´m still that way. Well. My body has carried three babies, so it doesn´t look as perfect as it used to. But then again. Perfect, in context to what? I mean, my body has created three living, healthy children. What is more perfect than that? It has also provided milk for all of them. This makes my breasts perfect, actually.
There is a cultural view on how the female body is to look to be judged as attractive. This view changes with time. Different centuries, different beauty ideals. Different decades different fashions, both to clothes and to body beauty.
In other words, one can´t take these ideals too seriously.

I have a slogan. Which I created myself, I´m very proud to say. I hope to print it onto some t-shirts one day. Maybe tunika-shaped t-shirts, so that people who have birthed 3 kids can feel good wearing the shirts too… 🙂 Here goes, listen up:

Function Fucks Fashion.

It even has a double meaning.
1.That something works, is more important than the way it works.

But that´s not my intended meaning.
This is:
2.That an item of clothing keeps you warm, or safe from the sun or rain or wind…which is the primary function of clothes… is way more important than the opinion of the fashion industry about the item´s “trendyness”.

I made this slogan while I was wearing a boilersuit from a fish factory where i worked. It was a blue boilersuit, very old and one might say ugly, after a decade or so in daily use in a fish factory.
But I grew so fond of it, that I actually took it with me when I quit the factory.
Ok, then. Yes I did steal it I guess. But it WAS very old and ugly. The other workers had newer boilersuits.

I stole it, and I wore it when it was snowing outside, in the morning as I made my 45 minute long walk to Piraya Film Company. Yup. I wore it to my fancy film company job. Of course I took it off when I arrived. Nice and dry, normal clothes underneath the blue suit. But.
Still. I´m pretty proud of that.
Getting that job did not make me stress and struggle to find a “suiting” style of clothes.
Then again, it was a rebel company. Jeans and t-shirts were wide spread. Nobody there ever commented on my fish factory uniform.

I actually miss that boilersuit. I gave it to a homeless shelter one winter, and I regret it. I thought at the time that it would stop me from walking around in the city looking strange. And it could also keep a homeless person nice and warm. But I regret it. Ever since then, I have wanted to purchase myself another boilersuit. One winter I´m sure I will.

The fashion industry. I think they are…a sign of sickness. Society consumer mentality imbalance.
“This spring it´s these new colours that matter. Different from last season´s”.
Just so that you can´t fake being up to date. You have to buy stuff you don´t need, in order to look like you´re trendy. Following the fashion.

Love this song about it.

Well, I´m not a follower of anything. Least of all fashion. I don´t see the point, to be honest. To look like everyone else? Isn´t that a bit fearful? Afraid to stand out? To be different?
Hey, we are all different! Every one of us is unique. Like snowflakes are. What´s the big deal?
Afraid others won´t accept us?
I remember high school without Levi´s jeans and Millet jackets. No, I was not accepted. I was even mildly bullied about it. But.
It didn´t change me. Or even rearrange me.

Could you be loved?
Is that the question that gives the fashion bizniz its central place in our consciousness? That we do not feel good enough? We try to show we are worthy of being loved?
“Look at me, I´m in with the in crowd, I have this expensive label on my trousers…”

I actually think fashion is old fashioned. It is doomed. Because earth can not maintain it. If we do keep up the consumer culture pace…then we, as a species, will die. Maybe that´s just as well. I´m sure the earth and its flora, fauna and wildlife has a better balance and far less pain without us humans here.

If we want to survive, though, to be the fittest, as not Dickens but…Darwin yes…claimed in his theory… (Same first name)…then we have to stop throwing away perfectly functional stuff just because the fashion guru says on the telly that the cool thing to wear is not like he said yesterday. Yesterday is so out. And blue is the new puke.

Sorry. Yes it does provoke me. I find it so brainless.
Then we rush out and buy the new textile items. And we empty our closets and throw away the stuff we bought and found so cool only a year ago.
What is it good for?
For the economy? For the profit makers´ economy.
It is not good for your private economy. But that´s your own problem. The real problem is that it is just not good for our planet!!! All that cotton, all that colouring… it is killing our mother earth. Together with the other pollution.

Soon we can´t eat the fish. Can´t drink the water, can´t breathe the air. Then what? Die pretty in pink? Die in our brand new, shiny car?

What about the children? What are they supposed to inherit?
A broken planet. Radioactivity. Fracking. Oil spills. What are they going to eat? What are they going to breathe?

I don´t really mean to preach. It just comes sprouting out. Like a bean stalk. Coz I do actually believe we need some saving if we don´t shift our direction soon.
And who will shift it? The industry of ProfitMaking?
Of course not.
Vote with your feet, as they say. There will be no consumer culture if we are not willing to be consumers.
End of story.

Myself I have textiles in different colours. And some items a bit more elegant, a bit more feminine, a bit on the funny side, a bit on the cheaky side, or the political side. My clothes they show my personality. And there is only one of me. So I appreciate diversity, non conformity. There´s the start of a song right there.

If and when I get plenty of dough, and money flows like golden honey everywhere I go… then I will go shopping for clothes. But didn´t I just say? No i didn´t. We all need clothes on our bodies. And my wardrobe has housed the same old items now for many many years. Once every decade or so, it´s okay to renew a little.
I would go to London. I love Camden town, the market there.
What´s it called that fancy expensive street? Oxford street?
Doesn´t feel attractive to me. Too stiff and plasticy, non personal, rigid, and stupidly overpriced.
No, I would go to the secondhand store. And hunt myself some funny stuff, colourful things, special items that someone ditched without having used it much. Good quality stuff. That does not look second hand. So much of it out there. That´s a much more creative way of shopping. Challenging my own taste and judgement of cool, instead of just buying into the mythology of the fashion industry. “Buy this…people will like you and dig you and desire youuuu…” It´s like a hypnosis trick! Consumer trance. “Stop thinking for yourself. Just do as we tell you..”

No thanks. I´m quite okay thinking by myself. I even prefer to. Makes me feel alive.
Following fashion is irrational. It is to allow other people
to decide the way you look. The signal you send out.
“Hello, I´m one of you, don´t be afraid, I´m just very ordinary, a fashionfollower like the rest of you…”

Am I too harsh?
I am not belittling. I respect everyone the same. I do.
I just don´t understand the need. The why. Follow fashion.

If it wasn´t such a disaster for our planet, and our children´s future, then it would just be amusing.
But if we don´t collectively wake up from this consumerism… it has serious consequences. It threatens our existence. That´s why I get edgy.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just want us to realize what the bizniz of clothes is costing us.

Don´t I have a suit-able (pun intended) music video that would make a funny or elegant ending to this post?

Hmmmm…Nooo…. I just searched youtube…there are some recycling raps but… nothing exciting, or juicy or fresh… and none of them mention the recycling of clothes, either. Sure, paper and cardboard is important. Without trees, we don´t get oxygen. But. My issue here is clothes.
Wonder how big a percentage clothes is, of our trash…
Not a small percentage.

So let´s recycle our old stuff, clothes included. And let´s also go searching for new stuff in second hand stores.
Save the planet.
And show the world you create your own style. Your skin is as unique as your inner self is. You don´t need to look like everyone else to feel safe and good enough.

This turned into a bit of a rant. I´m searching for Benjamin Zephania, the poet, on youtube, without luck at the moment.
Oh, internet working again… Found lots of different interesting Zephania pieces, about money, and immigration… but not the piece I was looking for, called “Everybody´s got a Rant”.

It is late now, midnight soon, which is very late for me these days when I mother three… (usually I stay up write in the night when the silence is quiet… I will do that again as soon as my youngest child is old enough to not wake me at 5 o´clock demanding a cup of cocoa)! Hehehehe…

Let´s wear it, enjoy it not fear it, and let´s try to not make our ways with clothes be a burden on our mother earth.

Oh, I just found this on youtube now. Search and you shall find. This is f***ing awesome… 🙂 …


Introducing: Githa Ben-David


Here is my teacher, Githa Ben-David.
This is an episode from a documentary series about spirituality, made by Christian Leth, a Danish musician and journalist.
I am attending her two year long course in vocal sound therapy.
It´s my second year this year.
To read more about it, see the post “My SoundHealer Inauguration”
and the post I will write after sharing this wonderful and inspiring documentary.
I will call that new post “Vocal Sound Therapy”.

(She has also written a trilogy about the healing effects of sound. It is being translated into English these days. Great books. Also, check her out on YouTube)!


8/3; International Women´s Day


I just found this one floating in my Facebook river.
It put a smile on my face and it touched my heart.
So I thought this will be the perfect little way
for me to say
Happy 8. of March today…
May women be seen as the equals that they are.
And may Love prevail.
Look at these people. 4 minutes of eyecontact.
Increasing intimacy. Into me see.
Aren´t we just a spectacular species.
Tremendous, this! 🙂


About to get to know


I wish I had a relevant image to illustrate this text with. But I don´t have it right here right now, and now here is the time I want to write this post. So. Off we go. Maybe I can add an image later, if the right one comes along.

I have decided to share with you the poem I think is the best one I have written to date. At least the English one. I do write in Norwegian as well, and a bit in Danish. But this one is my favourite from my book.
Quality is difficult to define. And agree upon. I just really adore this one, for some unexplainable reason.

I think I will actually continue writing underneath the poem. I want to write about my poetry writing. But not analyze the poem. Coz that´s a bit of a crime to me, I always hated dissecting poems in school, it provokes me, as I feel the gift of a poem is, that its meaning is up to the reader to create…?
And poetry to me is about what lies between the lines, what is said without being said… what I as a reader can sense, and not necessarily put into words… touching on the undescribable, words hinting at the unphrasable.

I wrote this piece one warm Summer day in 2007, lying on my stomach in my garden, looking at flowers. I counted 8 yellow and pink roses in bloom. And I just scribbled on from there. Here you are:

About to get to know

Eight flowers blooming
into epiphany
Mind´s narrow eye zooming
into paralyzing stupidity
From frog to eagle soaring
High on Sky
Finding tiny detail boring
See the Real Divide

Eight butterflies fluttering
into play position
Third eye widened shuttering
into wise decision
From overpowered to empowered
Water Still
Know the Truth of Inner Silence
Hear the Voice of Will


Decision making in the making…
I was trying to find out whether to move to Denmark or not, whether to trust in my feelings for my new boyfriend, and trust in his feelings for me… enough to move countries, with my little daughter and all…!

I gave myself six months. Told myself not to panick for not knowing clearly what to do. Told myself to relax and just enjoy and explore, and that in six months´ time I would have enough experience to decide whether to stay or whether to go back to Norway again and continue my nice life there…

And sure enough. Six months later I had a clear impression, and was able to reach the decision of moving to Denmark. Away from family and my close and wonderful friends. To be with him. Start again, network wise. And be with him. I had told him that I would only live together with a man if it was absolutely inevitable! I was very happy living on my own before I met him. So peaceful and free. Beautiful darling autonomy!
But. Only love is love.
I decided to move to Denmark and be with him. And it´s been 8 years now since we met. And it feels like we´ve only just begun this relationship.

I have always written poems. And at the same time, I don´t like old classical famous poetry that much. I mean, I hate it when it´s impossible to understand what it means!
I don´t have the patience for sitting wondering and pondering what on earth the writer wanted to say by those cryptic crinclycurly roundabout weird old words, set up in an unnatural way, forming stiff and sticky sentences.

I love song lyrics, though. Like Leonard Cohen`s. To me that´s great poetry. The number one poet and composer of our time, actually. Is my opinion. I have most of his records. I´m your man got me hooked back then. My favourite song of his is “going home” from his last but one album, Old Ideas… But there are so many, so many. Dance me to the end of love. Hallelujah. Like a bird on a wire. Famous blue raincoat. A thousand kisses deep. Dear Heather…

And Little Steven! His lyrics are political, crystal clear, and they make me feel passionate about the issues he talks about. He woke me up when I was 12 years old, he made me realize a lot about justice and solidarity, Sun City, Checkpoint Charlie…I am a patriot…I know them all by heart. Got all his albums on vinyl, from the 80s. Got some of the newer ones on cd too. And rebought them again on iTunes.

Syd Barrett! From the original Pink Floyd. His lyrics on their debut album from 1967… The gnome, the scarecrow, the bike… what a Genious.
Roger Waters´album “Amused to death”… sends shivers down my spine, still. It must be one of the albums I have listened to more than any other in my life. “Watching tv”. “What God wants”. “Perfect sense”. Brilliant poetry.

Coz what is the difference between poetry and lyrics?
I actually don´t know. I was never schooled in litterature science.

To me, the quality of a text has two aspects:
One, the depth of content.
And two, its ability to reach the heart of the reader. To create an atmosphere within the reader. That it communicates. Gives the reader something that the reader values. Reflection. Resonnance.
Of course it´s great when it´s sculpted well. Rhythm, rhyme, references… it is a craft. A skill, an art form. To be mastered. But if the content and the touching the reader is sacrificed in order to look clever… then to me it´s just…about the writer´s ego, showing off. And that´s not what writing poems/lyrics should be about.

I worked in the film industry for some years. There was this annual short film festival. And every year the price would go to the film that showed clever film making techniques. It would not go to the important documentary or the very well told, surprising story.
Always to some silly joke plot plastic fantastic film, made in a clever way by clever form-focused young men. Who in my opinion were wasting their own time and the viewers´. To be making films in order to show the world one´s cleverness just isn´t very clever when there is no value to the content.
When the message is a joke, or a spin on a story often heard before.
The messenger just isn´t the message. I´m sorry, it just isn´t.

Here is a powerful anti war message.

I guess I need to go to bed now.
Midnight. Full moon.
& I drank coffee at a seminar this evening.
Got a lot to do tomorrow.
& in the evening one of my very best friends
is coming all the way from Norway to visit for a handful days.
So I will say good night now.
Hope you enjoyed my little poem.
And that Roger Waters song is just… heartbreaking. Isn´t it.
Deep, meaningful content, and very well communicated.
To me he is indeed a great poet.

Good night now.
Take care out there.
Think twice & be nice.



Aim & Shine


Heart Matters book cover

I want to share with you two poems from my self published book.
(If you want to buy the book, which so far only exists in old school paper form, then go to the page “Buy my book?” and find out there how to get hold of a copy.

Here are the two poems:


Open up your magnet soul,
show your endless beauty.
Find, define and claim your goal,
to be happy is your duty.



Be brave
don´t be no slave
to any fear or doubt.
You´re happier without,
just turn within!
No such thing
as guilt or sin.
Pure lightlove is what you are.
Magical grain of dust from star.


In Trust I Trust



I trust. I do. In the universality of humanness. In the good intentions of strangers in general.
Not that evil does not exist.
Hurt people hurt people. Violence begets violence.
But trust begets trust as well. Peace begets peace. Ask Gandhi.

We send out and we receive. We share, and there is ecco. Reply.
We create reactions with our actions. Karma, some call it.
Others call it the law of attraction. Many names. I´m sure there are ways to describe it in (meta-) physics by now. Hard science and spirituality are beginning to opverlap. Police forces use mediums to find murder victims, don´t they. Telepathy, I read, has now been proven to exist. Not recently, a while ago.

I have always met people on my path with an open heart. Some I have felt intuitively were not…comfortable in their energy, and so I have moved swiftly on. But those are few and far between. I have always met people with an open heart, with curiousity, respect and a smile. I have taken strangers to my home and let them sleep on my couch. Many times. Men as well. Never have they ended up stealing from me or trying to rape me. I never felt threatened in any way, my trust was never disrespected, abused.

Don´t be naiv, they say, the people who call themselves realists. They may also be labelled fearful, sceptical, cynical, belittling.
As if giving someone your trust was a stupid thing. It is not. It is a sign of strength, actually. To be able to give people you don´t know, a chance. To keep an open mind and say that everybody is innocent until proven guilty. What is stupid and wrong, is to abuse someone´s trust.

The ability to trust is extremely valuable. It builds relationships. Whilst breaking someone´s trust in you, destroys or deeply damages a relationship. Trusting is saying “I believe in your integrity, that you are a (wo)man of your words, that you are real, and you will give me your respect and honesty.”

I have told my daughters that there are people out there who actually kidnap children and hurt them. Told them they must never go anywhere with a person they don´t know. That if a grownup grabs them or tries to pull them into a car, they are to scream as loud as they can “I don´t know this person! Help!!” I have told them that one´s genitals is one´s private area that no one else gets to play with until one has a boyfriend/girlfriend. And that a child is not allowed to have a girlfriend or boyfriend who is an adult, and that every adult knows that it is illegal and they will go to jail for it.
Of course they need to know this. Even though we thank goodness live in a very peaceful place. Things happen. They need to know. And later, I hope they will learn martial arts, so they can protect themselves if ever attacked. They are girls. Girls are looked upon as prey by some men in some places. It is sick and it is sickening.

Myself I have for example been under the influence, half senseless, alone at night in Amsterdam several times, I have walked around the souq in Bahrain in trousers and a t-shirt and my blonde long hair not tied up, I have like I said housed male strangers. I have been in Bronx and in Brixton, at night with just one fellow student boy as company… And I have never felt in danger. Oh apart from that time on the ferry to Newcastle when that guy was jealous because his girlfriend was keen on me! Hahaha… that was actually scary. His anger, outside on the deck there in the middle of the night…But those were not people I trusted, though. They just came after me.

What am I trying to say with all this?

When we walk into the world with an open mind and heart.
Then we are met with the same!
Is my experience.
I have always sat down and had a chat with homeless people and drug addicts on bus stations when I´ve been travelling. And asked directions from prostitutes or beggars. In the souq I always got lost, and simply asked Arab men to help me find my way, and they were always polite and helpful, never pestering me.

I think that when you trust a person, you pull out of that person his or her trust worthiness. Actually. They sense you mean well and you are not afraid of them but curious and friendly. And so they become curious too. And wellmeaning and friendly.
Come on, we are animals after all. We snif and we wag tails and signal harmlessness when we can, because that´s the way to stay safe.
It´s like magnets, I imagine. Recognizing similarity and responding positively, moving towards the other. Seeing others mean well, makes us feel good. Even happy.

Let me tell you a true story.
I was at a course called “the seven rays”. In Wales, in my twenties. I don´t remember much of it, but I remember finding it interesting. There was a Dutch young woman there. And she told us that one afternoon she came to a parkinglot to pick up her car, and all of a sudden there was a man walking up very close to her. She instinctly felt that this was the man who was wanted by the police for murdering several women in the city lately.
She froze, and she said she knew that if she showed him she was afraid, he would kill her. That was what he was after. Her fear.
She asked him calmly if he would like to come over to her flat. !!
Because she knew that in a couple of hours her room mate would come home from work. She felt this was her only chance to escape him.
He said yes, he would like to come with her to her appartment.
So they got in her car, and she took him to her home, sat him down in the kitchen, served him tea and kept a conversation going. A couple of hours later, her room mate came home, and he said good bye and left. She called the police and told them about her experience.
Less than a week later, she was called in by the police to be a witness. There had been a murder. She pointed out the man she had taken home from the parking lot.
She told us that she was 100 % convinced that showing him the sign of fearless trust, was what saved her life that day.

Rape and murder is not actually about sex. It is about power. Feasting on the victim´s fear.
Maybe I´m wrong. I´m not a psychologist. But it is my strong impression.

It´s an amazing story. And it´s straight from the horse´s mouth. She had experienced it herself, she did not tell a story about a friend.
How do I know it´s true? I could feel it. Can´t you?
Yes some people are…passionate liars, they get a kick out of lying. But they are very rare. And when I look into a person´s eyes, I sense whether something is true or not. I think everybody can, at least to a degree. Intuition, our 6.sense. “I have a gut feeling…”

I trust in trust. I give people the benefit of the doubt. When I discover deception, I just move on. I don´t have time for fakers. Illusionmakers. Losing an illusion is hurtful sometimes, but I´m still grateful for not remaining stuck in untruth. I´d rather be illusion-less, even though living in illusions can be very pleasant.

Yes I do trust.
One could say it has hurt me in the way that there have been promises made to me that have been broken, and it has hurt me.
And my trust has been abused by a lover or two, where I only late did find out I was being manipulated with, for example feeling guilty for my openhearted behaviour whilst the problem actually was my partner´s unreasonable jealousy and not risk of infidelity or rape.

But there you go, such is life, and I don´t believe in mistakes, I believe we create what we need.
I am who I am because of what I have gone through. There have been struggles and disappointments and letdowns. For sure.
But if I had sacrificed my ability to trust, in that learning proces, then that would have been the real loss. That would have profoundly made my life a poorer place to be. I never gave that power to anyone. If a person let me down, then that luggage is hers or his to carry, it is not mine. I leave their garbage by the side of the path and I walk on, resting assured that I am free from a burdening person, one lesson wiser and if there comes a next time I will spot the deception a lot earlier.

I don´t want a filter between me and my life. Why would I want such a thing? Prejudice… for what? Ranking everyone I meet as this good or that bad or probably not good enough…. good enough for what? For my smile? If I smile and the person doesn´t smile back, that´s fine. It doesn´t mean there´s anything wrong with smiling. If he or she wants to think I´m stupid, then that´s their business, not mine.
But if I choose not to smile at a person…. that sends a signal of being closed. And that attracts the same closedness from that person.
Then we will have both lost an opportunity for a positive exchange of energy.

What is there to gain? What is there to lose?
In a world were people smile to eachother on the street, it produces a sense of safety. And it actually makes me feel very happy inside when it happens. Here on Fanoe it happens a lot. We all greet eachother, although we only know we have seen each other´s face somewhere before. Ok, it´s a small island, but there´s still 3000 of us locals.

I know. In a city there are so many people that our instincts can´t deal with taking individuals in and greeting them. Fine.
Maybe that is why so many people feel so lonely in cities. ?

So when showing trust, you can potentially gain feeling safe and happy. You can also gain feeling stupid for trusting someone who was not worthy. But that feeling is your choice. There is no reason to feel stupid for trusting. It is a sign of strength, of daring to risk. Breaking someone´s trust, on the other hand, when we do that, that´s when we should feel stupid.

What is there to lose?
You just might lose a bit of fear. When you realize that most people around you are really nice, and a lot like yourself. They have interesting life stories, they feel pain and joy basically because of the same things as yourself.

Don´t allow disappointments to make you lose faith in trusting.
Be open. See what happens. If we all dared to trust each other…
wouldn´t it be nice?

(No I will not play that Beachboys-song now)!

I mean, not trust strangers with your life, unless you have to. But to trust that strangers are harmless. 99,9 % of them are. And the ones who hurt you are not the strangers you exchange friendliness with on a corner, in a shop or in a bar, it is the people you pull close to you and believe when they say they love you with all their hearts. Lovers. Family members. Who do not look after the genuine, precious gift your trust given to them, truely is.

I´m gonna keep on trusting in trusting.
It´s brought good results so far.
I enjoy feeling relaxed and happy.
Suspicion is a waste of energy, I reckon.
People are as good as they can be, and when they fail, forgive them.

Life is short.
The only thing we know for sure about it, is that it ends.
At least our bodies do. End.
So when we will die anyways, why miss out on possible fun to be had, getting to know cool people unknown to you?

I remember that slogan from the 80s:
“A stranger is a friend you don´t know.”

Be friendly first. Be open. Trust in the Good!


My Listening Hut


This is a short video from my Listening Hut. Which was built by a Swedish architect friend of ours, as a birthday present for me from my husband 3 years ago. It sits behind the apple tree in the back of our garden. 2 by 2 metres big. I go there for undisturbed thinking (at least undisturbed by external factors, haha), I go there to listen to silence, to write, meditate, listen to music, or just sit still and watch the blackbirds in the apple tree…

It is a sanctuary where my mothering can take a break. Where I can be just me, not a friend, wife, mother, neighbour, daughter or sister. Just me. Tuning into me. Spending time with me.

It may sound egotrippish. But I don’t see it that way.
If I don’t get time alone, I’m just not a nice person to be around. I need to connect with myself, centre my energy, in order to have energy to share with others.

It is such a joy to close that door behind me and sit down in the tiny sofa and just…. be.
Continue writing the story that is unfolding in one of my notebooks. Or make a poem in my journal. Sing along with Tibetan chanting monks. Or eat chocolate and write out sad or angry emotions, then put on some loud music from a mixtape made decades ago, and just feel the low energy be released, making room for fresh, more optimistic energy…

It is the best present anyone ever gave me.
My Listening Hut.
My precious treasure.
My place of peace.