Trust the process. Yes. I´ve called this post Leaving behind. Which is meant as a synonym for letting go. As this is the emotion filling me today. I was at a sound healing course again this last weekend. Second but last time before our 2 year long education is finished. And it was the last time we met in that extremely beautiful Rudolf Steiner building of Audonicon in Skanderborg.
I love that building so so much… I will consider taking an other course, as long as it´s situated in that building! Time will tell…
We always stay the night when we are there. This time I put my mattress and linen on the stage in the big concert hall. Only me. Next to the grand piano. Every time I coughed, it echoed! A lovely experience. Slept very well there. Here´s my view from the stage:
And here´s the stage. My bed was just behind the black curtain on the left hand side.
There are many beautiful rooms for learning, in the building. And a wonderful little library with a tiny, winding wooden staircase with a seat built into it, invisible until one stumbles upon it. Can´t find a photo of it online though.
They have a bookstore, look:
Yeah… Audonicon darling. I´m leaving you behind now. I have enjoyed every second I have spent in your space. And I will try to come back to you later, in a new context. I wish you prosperity and keep you forever in my heart.
Another building I am about to leave behind, is my mother-inlaw´s home. Her little house in the woods, on the isle of Rømø. She died a little over a year ago. The family has left it as she left it, until recently. Now we are in the process of sharing the worldly posessions between the two sons of the lovely couple who were my parents inlaw. I am very grateful that the process of sharing is a peaceful one, with humour and warmth. Soon we are finished, hopefully the day after tomorrow is the last time we´ll have to meet to do this work. And on Sunday, the 01/11, the house is bought by my husband´s brother.
Same day, we go for a week to Budapest, my husband, myself and our 3 homeliving kids. So that will be an apt symbolic marking, for moving out of the old and into the new. Fresh memories to be made.
I can´t find photos of her beautiful place right now. But here´s a couple of pictures of her. The world´s nicest and wisest grandma Ellen. Here she is September 2013. She always did puzzle after puzzle with our Viola, and read book after book to our Linus-Ferdinand…
And here she is christmas eve 2013, we are dancing around the christmas tree… she was so happy. Most of the time she was just very happy, and with such a positive outlook on life. Miss her badly.
This christmas will be the first one we celebrate in Denmark without her. Last year we celebrated at my mom´s in Norway. This year we will dance around the christmas tree in our home without grandma. Such is life. Death is part of the natural life cycle. It will feel sad. But we will huddle up closer to eachother and try and fill the gap best way we can. Maybe we will light a paper lantern and let it loose into the sky, thai style… we will make it meaningful, this christmas. Comforting, in spite of our family´s missing cornerstone.
So yes. We are letting go of her, little by little. And on Sunday we leave her house behind. I guess we will probably be invited to visit the family there for a barbecue in the future. But it is not our place anymore.
Found this now, in a Facebook album… “The Cafe”, a spot at the back of her house… her husband Paul built little places to sit, everywhere around the house, so they could always be outdoors and not be bothered by the wind. Ellen published 11 books. So most probably she has sat here many a time with a good idea and pen and paper…
More than Audonicon and Ellen´s house, today is also the day my father died in 2010. 65 years old. I miss him, and the worst bit is that he is missing from my children´s childhood. I don´t seem to have a good photo of him at hand or I would place it here now… there is actually a photo of him as a young man, where he looks like James Dean. Honestly! Not just bragging!! 🙂 We miss you, Leif Arthur Henriksen.
Oh, I found this one. Taken July 2010. We didn´t know then that he would die soon. They said he was free of the cancer. We took him to hospital in October as he was not eating and drinking enough. Then they found cancer everywhere and he crossed over 3 weeks later. A shock!
My eldest daughter on the left here, was almost 6 years old. Her cousin Emily 4 and a half. It was so painful to walk with them behind the coffin. They loved him immensely.
He doesn´t look his best on this picture, after years of battling cancer. But it is a picture that shows so clearly the love between a granddad and his two granddaughters. So I treasure this photo.
Leaving behind… something is wrong with that concept… Moving forward is more correct… the past is the past but our crossed over relatives are very much still part of the present… time is an illusion and now is the only reality there is. And in the now all is present.
Well. I leave the headline as it is. What is finished, is finished and change is the only constant. Moving on. “To boldly go where no one has gone before”. To quote the captain of the starship Enterprise.