I want to say something on this universally enormously important human subject. I wanted to start out with the music video of the Culture Club song “Sexuality”, from their album “From Luxury to Heartache” (80-something), but youtube won´t allow the video of that song to be played. So. Hm. Then I stumbled upon this one, by a woman I only discovered yesterday, thanx to a friend of mine. So I choose this song by her instead of Culture Club´s then, hope she won´t mind:
Spiritual poemsong – pong – …. :o))
Quite some woman this, huh. Funny and strong.
And so let me start my talk on sexuality. It´s a mighty fine thing, this thing, this one of our basic instincts. It gives us pleasure, it connects us in the most profound way, and it even causes babies to be born. Rather magical.
Then isn´t it tragical, that the religious dogooders, top hooders, claim they speak for the All Mighty when they say this joyfilled instinct is one to avoid dwelling on, one to feel shameful and guilty about, that the natural feelings inside our divine, God given bodies, should be surpressed, not expressed, never used unless it´s for making a baby?
I think maybe, just maybe, there is a God or a Goddess, sitting on a cloud, shaking her head, saying to herself, “silly preachers, that is not what I said, and not what I ever meant, if it was such a sin then you would not have been given that heartopening, beautiful thing!”
Sex is for pleasure and joy and connection.
Not the porn way. I disagree with porn. It´s just always all about some man´s private part and the things it would like to do. The woman is the object, not the subject. If she is active, it´s in a way that his private part would like her to behave, not in a way she herself would choose to do things. Often the woman or women involved is abused, violated, raped, and she pretends to enjoy it. It is to me a sick industry. And a sickening one as well, indeed.
Erotic litterature, though. Or film. Is a completely different issue. Where adult, equal partners meet, in reciprocity, both respected by eachother, both enjoying acts of friendly, tender or playful, maybe forceful, sex games…
Then, when it happens lovingly, volunteerily, the involved parties being equal. Then I don´t see the point in people saying that they must not be two men together or two women, or more than two people, and not do this and not do that.
If everyone involved has given their concent, their honest yes (between adults. Children and animals can not give their yes in an equal way to an adult person). Then what they choose to do together is nobody´s business but their own. That´s how I see it. It´s their private right to be sexual the way they feel good about. As long as it is not harmful to others.
Also, I find it complete unbelievable that the church and other religious institutions around the world, that they claim they can forbid homo sexuality. What….. isn´t every being created by God in their view? Why were homosexuals created? For priests to have someone to be evil to?
I don´t believe in sexuality being a set of boxes. One called homo, one called hetero, and one in the middle called bi. I think our sexual energy is more like a ray. And it attracts individuals who beam at a certain frequency, similar to our own. Or frequency is maybe just meant to describe sound waves…? Well then, let sexuality be a sound wave, why not, I don´t mind. We all radiate radio rays…? Radio gaga…
Freddy Mercury. What a man. So talented. As is Boy George as well. And Prince. David Bowie. Many more than I can think of this moment.
Why is it so scary, sexuality? I don´t get it.
And why can´t people just love freely who they want? We can´t help who we fall in love with, can we?! I remember a close friend of mine telling me how she, as a kid, sat in the classroom, feeling in love with a girl in her class, and she just knew that this was something horrible, it made her abnormal, it had to be hidden at all cost, or else she would be an outcast, bullied for the rest of her schooldays, she had to pretend to be tough and cold and cool, preferably the coolest of all the coolest kids.
She spent years in therapy as an adult. To forgive herself for not accepting herself as she was. She is openly gay now, happily together with a very nice woman. But it has not been easy for her to grow up in Norway in the 80s, being gay.
What else do I want to say.
Yes, I want to mention tantra. Not that I´m an expert at all. But I´m fascinated with this old, wise way from India. I bought a video about tantra once. It showed a couple. First they sat looking into eachother´s eyes for a very long time. Then they sat opposite eachother and touched eachother gently, stroking eachother´s faces, arms…. all very slowly, whilst being conscious about breathing deeply and calmly, remaining in eye contact together… when they started having intercourse, their aim was not to speed up towards orgasm, but to avoid orgasm, stopping, pausing when energy reached high, then continuing again slowly when it became possible to move again… they explained that the sexual energy then was recirculated into their bodies, this could go on for many hours, everything becoming vibrant, the contact between the two becoming so strong, intimate, warm, grateful, loving, happy…
It is actually often this kind of approach sex therapists use when they give advice to couples who can´t rekindle the fire that used to be between them. They are told to go home, just look at each other, not touch. Next day, lie close to each other face to face, fully dressed, no genitals touching…. and so forth until they after a week or so of this kind of intimacy build-up, are allowed to try and go all the way…
It´s a form of sexuality that makes room for the female energy…. I say without competence… it´s just a feeling I have… Women need to feel emotionally connected, intimate psychologically, before opening up physically…. not every woman, and not even most women most of the time, when we know our partner, opening up can be very quick and easy and uncomplicated. But other times…. to connect…. build intimacy beyond the touching of private parts…. is a good idea. And will do wonders. Everyone should experiment with this. It can only bring good consequences. 🙂
What else. Is there more to say about sexuality? Oh yes. Heaps. But I think maybe this is all I want to say about it right now.
Let there be joy, let there be equality, let there be laughter and freedom in the bedroom. Let us enjoy the nature we have been blessed with. We are meant to do this crazy thing, that´s why we feel like doing it so much! Hahaha….. drop the shame and the guilt, it does not belong to you, somebody taught you to think it is wrong and dirty, and shame on them for being violent like that towards innocent human beings.
Be yourself, accept when someone says no to you, and remember to say yes if you mean yes. Very important. Be honest, be real, be horny and be happy. Be responsible, be kind, be peaceful and playful.
Hallelujah, praise the Goddess
for giving us this wonderful thing called sexuality.
Am I right or am I right. You can feel how right I am, right?