Friday eve. Kids´ tv and candy. Means the week´s most quiet hour for me, in the kitchen´s arm chair. Dad is not even home tonight. Team building event at work. So the kitchen is all mine, all empty and peaceful, no piano being played, no one talking to me…. For a mother of 3 at the end of the first week of school/kindergarten after 7 weeks holiday…
MANNA FROM THE SKY !!! is how that feels. 🙂
I´ve been blogging too little, lately. Days are simply flying by! And whenever I have a second spare, I go into my “listening hut” in the garden, and listen to my self hypnosis audios, in a course I´m doing, called Winning the game of Money. Have I mentioned the course before? Can´t remember.
It´s great stuff. I have listened to Abraham Hicks on Youtube for a few years, so this is a very natural-feeling next step. Also, it connects well with my recent exam in hypno therapy. So I´m well chuffed. Learning is my favourite passtime…
I can feel my inner self changing as well. Which is kind of freaky. I can feel that I have gotten new boundaries! I feel a lot more certain about things, decisive. And I have lost some of my precious patience, with small talk and being polite to people who actually owe me an apology!
It´s a bit … unnerving to realize. I experienced myself the other day as not the attentive hostess I normally automatically always am. I simply could not be bothered, pretending friendship when I knew that they knew they owe me a big fat apology for something they said to me that actually made me cry and explain to them exactly why it made me cry, a couple of years ago now. They never got back to me to face what had happened, and give me their apology. Well. They came to visit the other day and I just. Was quiet. And serious. Not smoothing and small talking. Just responding to their words. And looking them straight in the eye. Waiting for quality and sincerety and depth that never came. Not so pleasant of me.
But ok. I accept myself as I am. And we all change thoughout our life times. Some of us probably more than others. As one has to be open, and embrace change, to make it happen, mostly.
I love change. To grow. Understand more. Develope new… fields of interest, deepen the fields that have always been there… Grow. Simply.
Maybe this is turning into a boring rant. Sorry. Hmmm. Well. I write about heart matters, so. Let it be.
Let´s see if I can find a visual break to lighten this text up:
Yeah… of course I agree with this. Still. I don´t think I have changed into someone less empathic. Rather my self respect has become more un-compromised. I consider myself an empath. It is one of the traits I am most proud of having.
Maybe of late I´ve just found a new level of empathy for myself. Hahaha…..
I have a busy life. Volunteering for 5 ngos. And trying to create a source of income. As well as being a mother of 3. Recently, I have engaged myself in the building of a new political party as well! Or… the party is built, but I want it to become represented locally, so we get something decent to vote for, come the election in November.
“The Alternative”. Is the party´s name. I´m a member of a party for the first time in my life! The party is built on 6 values: Humour, Empathy, generousity, humbleness, courage and transparancy.
I dig it.
It also operates with three fields of growth: Economical, Social and Environmental. So something can have great value giving social growth, yet not have financial profits. Money is not the only existing measure of value.
The party also wants political debate fashion to change, from a battlefield of winners contra losers, to an arena where we listen to eachother and find the best common solutions for our common challenges…
I do NOT want to be in the local counsil. We are 4 people on the list of representatives to vote for. I think we will get one or two representatives in.
So I´m safe, insisting on being no.4 on the list.
I want to support this initiative, though. I want a new direction for local politics. And this party has good thoughts,including global considerations…
Right. New visual. Bring it!
The great Persian poet. Love him. Or her? If Shakespeare might have been a woman…
Apart from all my ponderings about game of money, party politics, ngos and new expressions of self respect boundaries…
I remain first and foremost a Spirit. Working at the service of Spirit.
I ask for Light and Love every time I give vocal sound therapy to a client. I am a channel, letting energy through. I also channel in my poetry/song writing.
Soon I will go be a volunteer at a hospice. A bit… I don´t know if I will wish to stay there, but I think I will. I am always drawn to where I feel a bit scared. And it always shows itself to be the right new life move for me. I follow my heart.
In January, I think it will be, one of my sound therapy colleagues and I, go to Dorset to attend module 2 of the education into Soul Midwifery. To learn what is to know about caring for dying “friends” and their families, to support them in their (beloved´s) transition.
I have read a lot of books by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. The pioneeer Swiss psychiatrist who invented the term “near death experiences”… check her out. She´s on youtube as well… video of her talking with people on their deathbed. She´s a hero of mine. So loving, humorous, warm… Wise. Strong. Giving. Empathic. She has my admiration.
Anyways. Yeah. So many balls in the air now, to juggle. I have my eyes on extended hypnosis training too. Marisa Peer. But I need to win the game of money first.
Visualing and manifesting my vortex vibrations… life is an exciting timespace.
I crave a lot of alone time and silence. One wouldn´t think so, maybe. I´m a very active person, involved in quite a few social settings. An anthropologist at heart. Hungry for expanded understanding in the field of “Social Man”. Always.
Still, though: To sit with Spirit. It´s part of my core. Literally. Hehehe…
Discovered a new word the other day: Ambivert. Meaning someone who is both an extravert and an introvert, changing according to context. That´s me. I´m real glad this word came along, coz I was annoyed thinking I had to belong to either one or the other box. I hate being forced into boxes. Either or. I don´t belong in an either-or-universe! My space is all inclusive; “both-and.” Yes please. Include me in the open-ness…
My God, this is becoming quite a manifest of Who I Am. Huh? Well. As I said, a lot of stuff is changing in my life right now. I didn´t plan the heading for this post, even, it just typed itself and then I wrote on. Status not so quo. True enough.
Oh. This song. I played it loudly over and over, age … 12? 14?
Rick Parfitt and Francis Rossi. They were on board Band Aid as well. Oh I do know my 80s pop rock data. It filled my entire life back then.
There´s a new version, from 2010, I just found out now! Check it out:
Oh fuck. No. The video from 2010 looks like they are visiting a group of happy children scouts…! Glorifying army life, in my opinion. All smiles and pictures of comeradery.
Hell. I´m actually really disappointed! Glorifying war. Look at these nice tanks, aren´t they a great feat of engineering, like…. and the beautiful women in uniforms, smiling and clapping…
In my inner teenager cinema, these lyrics showed pictures of tired young men disillusioned, “you´ll be the hero of the neighbourhood, nobody knows that you´ve left for good”… and “once you get there no one gives a damn”… “missiles flying over your head”…”Your finger on the trigger but it don´t seem right”… “But you just can´t see, is this illusion or reality?”…
I must be a reincarnated pascifist. How can they… redo their song in 2010, without a critical angle on the middle east being bombed back to the middle ages by the west… That´s just……. brain dead? Corrupt? Plain ignorant? No, that level of ignorance is not allowed or even possible anymore, is it. ?!
Much prefer Bowie’s farewell album, then. There´s a real authentic, honest and foresighted voice, unafraid, wise, visionary.
I miss Prince as well. And MJ too. Leonard of course. My number one poet and singer.
So. Un-quo-ing that status of mine. Now just received a dounle meaning. Love multivocality.
No respect for that pussyfooting shite. Said using the mild version of the synonym for excrements there. Shite, spelled and pronounced like that, is quite acceptable to Brits. At least it was during the years that I lived amongst them. 1994-99.
Bottom line. What more do we all want than peace. The healthy majority of us.
Universal human needs. Peace. And Love.
You know it´s true.
Oh. Haha. Sorry, I can´t resist this:
And this. We do need love. Listen to LL here now. 🙂
All that … lovey dovey couple stuff…
A true, loving hymn for peace. That is what my heart really beats for.
I actually listen to this almost every day, in periods, on my bathroom stereo, while I shower. I sing this Assissi´s prayer lyrics of all force, bottom of my lungs.
Make me an instrument of Thy peace.
(The English lyrics start at 3:50, but the intro is absolutely lovely enough that you should chill and let it soothe you).
“It is in dying that we are born, into eternal life.”
(This vid is seen 1,5 million times, whereas the other two, Milly Vanilly and LL Cool J, have been viewed like 26 million times…! Crazy… this fornication drive really have got a great grip on humanity´s balls/ovaries, doesn´t it, Goodness Gracious…)
Well. I should be dj-ing. And actually I do have a plan to create a playlist of dance floor tunes, and make a video installation to fit in with the playlist… Watch that space. I´ve gotta express that groovyness too, somewhere somehow…
Bye for now. Sorry if this took off. Then again. No. I´m not sorry. I´m just me.